Thursday, January 8, 2009

Maria Duval - How to Seduce the 12 Horoscope Signs

How to Seduce the 12 Horoscope Signs
Follow the advices and attract the person you desire. The following advices are quite general. You can consult Tarot or psychic for personal questions. To Seduce an Aries Man The type of woman who can attract an Aries man is one that demonstrates a sense of independence and is bold, adventurous, or spontaneous. They'll respect the freedom of a woman like this. They admire strength and courage. Aries men enjoy a challenge, and may find it enjoyable to be seduced by an assertive woman, while offering sufficient resistance to make it interesting. To Seduce an Aries Woman The type of man who attracts an Aries woman is brash and bold, daring and direct, and has a sense of adventure. They are drawn to macho types or men in uniform. They seek competition and challenges, so they prefer authoritative men who are hard to get. Aries women are attracted to winners, in sports or business or any form of competition. Seduction of Taurus Taurus man prefers a woman who is cute, cuddly, calm and comfortable, and shows affection with caresses and kisses. They prefer women who are easy-going, earthy and sensuous, and not too independent or energetic. To Seduce a Taurus Woman The type of man who attracts a Taurus woman is the classic strong and silent type. Men who are down-to-earth appeal to her, and it may be important to her that he likes animals or nature in general. A man who can cook, cuddle, and care for her physical comforts is of great interest to her. To Seduce a Gemini men Gemini men are attracted to women who are clever and changeable and can keep them guessing. They can be drawn to average looking women who are witty and interesting, and certainly more than to the beautiful but dull sort. To Seduce Gemini Woman The right man for the Gemini woman is clever and changeable, and a great conversationalist. Communication is very important to her, so the man who can share information and ideas is sure to be well regarded. To Seduce a Cancer Man The type of woman who attracts a Cancer man is one who will comfort and care for them. A woman who feeds a Cancer man and makes him feel loved may soon see them sharing her home, since home is where they most want to feel wanted and cherished and comforted. To Seduce a Cancer Woman The right man for the Cancer woman is protective, security-conscious, sensitive, and understanding. If she finds that he makes her feel safe and secure, she’ll feel herself drawn to him. To Seduce a Leo Man The type of woman who attracts the Leo man is one that they can feel proud to be seen with -- one who makes them look good just by having her on his arm. A woman who is gorgeous or dramatic or regal or aloof turns them on. To Seduce a Leo Woman The right man for the job of taming the Leo lioness is one who radiates warmth and shows his affection in a physical way. They are even more interested if he happens to be rich or famous or powerful or gorgeous (or all of the above) so that she can share the spotlight with her new love. To Seduce a Virgo Man The type of woman who attracts the Virgo man in search of company always appears well groomed and conservatively dressed -- and, above all, has an air of propriety. They are very particular, and desire nothing short of perfection in their potential mates, which can leave them out in the cold more often than not. To Seduce a Virgo Woman The type of man who attracts the Virgo woman is intelligent, impeccably mannered and groomed, practical, and reliable. Neatness and cleanliness are the single most important factors here for the approval of a Virgo lady. To Seduce a Libra Man The type of woman who attracts the Libra man has lots of class but isn’t too formal at the wrong times. She can be sort of sophisticated but not terribly stuck-up, sort of picky but not too particular, or any one of a number of contradicting categories, as long as she is utterly sincere in her attentions and has no hidden agendas for the relationship. To Seduce a Libra Woman The type of man who attracts a Libra woman is charming, polite, and well dressed -- it also helps if he’s good looking, romantic, and a bit old-fashioned as well. They tend to respond to mental and verbal flirtations more so than the crude physical kinds. To Seduce a Scorpio Man The type of woman who attracts the emotionally volatile Scorpio man is very vital, passionate, and intense. They rend to go for dynamic and powerful types of women who aren’t indecisive, weak willed pushovers. To Seduce a Scorpio Woman Scorpio women prefer a man who appears intense or inscrutable, and has a kind of magnetic charisma about him that hints at smoldering sexuality and unexplored depths of unbridled passion. To Seduce a Sagittarius man Sagittarius men like the type of woman who is honest, direct, and reliable -- basically a lover who is also a friend. They like a woman who's playful one minute, and philosophical the next, but always happy. To Seduce a Sagittarius Woman The man who attracts a Sagittarius woman is one who displays high moral and ethical standards, and lives up to their ideals of honesty and integrity. They want honesty, friendship, and fun from a potential mate. To Seduce a Capricorn Man The type of woman who attracts a Capricorn man is socially acceptable and somewhat formal or aloof -- not to mention quite serious about success and status. To Seduce a Capricorn Woman Capricorn women are after a man who seems serious, aloof, and detached, and somehow projects an inscrutable personal aura. They want a man who's ambitious and socially acceptable, and they are drawn to money, status, and power. To Seduce an Aquarius Man The type of woman who attracts an Aquarius man is intelligent, independent, free spirited, and a good conversationalist. Should she keep him guessing, or be a bit unconventional, she'll fascinate him, but if she's too emotional, he'll pass. To Seduce a an Aquarius Woman The type of man who attracts the Aquarius woman is intellectually interesting, logical, open-minded, and willing to experiment. A man with ideas and insights fascinates them to no end. Aquarius women are even more attracted if he seems unconventional or unpredictable or just unusual in some way. To Seduce a Pisces Man The type of woman who attracts the withdrawn Pisces man is romantic and emotional, sensitive and passive. Should she be intriguing or mysterious or able to make him feel secure, she could be just the one for him. Pisces men are fond of secret love affairs, as well as people who need help or emotional support. To Seduce a Pisces Woman The Pisces woman is after a man who is romantic, sensitive and either an imaginative dreamer or just lost and confused. The idea of a secret love affair can excite and entice her, and mystery intrigues her. You can also develop your own Tarot and psychic reading ability to find the solution to your specific questions. The simplest way to develop your psychic ability is through listening to your intuitive voice. For example, you can do your own Tarot card reading, and then ask yourself what these cards really mean. Trust your own psychic ESP! After all, no one can be a better Tarot reader than yourself.

"How to Seduce the 12 Horoscope Signs" was written by Elaine Fung. Elaine Fung is an expert in horoscopes and psychic subjects. In this article she provides us with useful tips to seduce any person we like just by knowing his zodiac sign. This is a public article, so, please feel free to use our content and give credit by linking back to us.

How to Seduce the 12 Horoscope Signs
Follow the advices and attract the person you desire. The following advices are quite general. You can consult Tarot or psychic for personal questions. To Seduce an Aries Man The type of woman who can attract an Aries man is one that demonstrates a sense of independence and is bold, adventurous, or spontaneous. They'll respect the freedom of a woman like this. They admire strength and courage. Aries men enjoy a challenge, and may find it enjoyable to be seduced by an assertive woman, while offering sufficient resistance to make it interesting. To Seduce an Aries Woman The type of man who attracts an Aries woman is brash and bold, daring and direct, and has a sense of adventure. They are drawn to macho types or men in uniform. They seek competition and challenges, so they prefer authoritative men who are hard to get. Aries women are attracted to winners, in sports or business or any form of competition. Seduction of Taurus Taurus man prefers a woman who is cute, cuddly, calm and comfortable, and shows affection with caresses and kisses. They prefer women who are easy-going, earthy and sensuous, and not too independent or energetic. To Seduce a Taurus Woman The type of man who attracts a Taurus woman is the classic strong and silent type. Men who are down-to-earth appeal to her, and it may be important to her that he likes animals or nature in general. A man who can cook, cuddle, and care for her physical comforts is of great interest to her. To Seduce a Gemini men Gemini men are attracted to women who are clever and changeable and can keep them guessing. They can be drawn to average looking women who are witty and interesting, and certainly more than to the beautiful but dull sort. To Seduce Gemini Woman The right man for the Gemini woman is clever and changeable, and a great conversationalist. Communication is very important to her, so the man who can share information and ideas is sure to be well regarded. To Seduce a Cancer Man The type of woman who attracts a Cancer man is one who will comfort and care for them. A woman who feeds a Cancer man and makes him feel loved may soon see them sharing her home, since home is where they most want to feel wanted and cherished and comforted. To Seduce a Cancer Woman The right man for the Cancer woman is protective, security-conscious, sensitive, and understanding. If she finds that he makes her feel safe and secure, she’ll feel herself drawn to him. To Seduce a Leo Man The type of woman who attracts the Leo man is one that they can feel proud to be seen with -- one who makes them look good just by having her on his arm. A woman who is gorgeous or dramatic or regal or aloof turns them on. To Seduce a Leo Woman The right man for the job of taming the Leo lioness is one who radiates warmth and shows his affection in a physical way. They are even more interested if he happens to be rich or famous or powerful or gorgeous (or all of the above) so that she can share the spotlight with her new love. To Seduce a Virgo Man The type of woman who attracts the Virgo man in search of company always appears well groomed and conservatively dressed -- and, above all, has an air of propriety. They are very particular, and desire nothing short of perfection in their potential mates, which can leave them out in the cold more often than not. To Seduce a Virgo Woman The type of man who attracts the Virgo woman is intelligent, impeccably mannered and groomed, practical, and reliable. Neatness and cleanliness are the single most important factors here for the approval of a Virgo lady. To Seduce a Libra Man The type of woman who attracts the Libra man has lots of class but isn’t too formal at the wrong times. She can be sort of sophisticated but not terribly stuck-up, sort of picky but not too particular, or any one of a number of contradicting categories, as long as she is utterly sincere in her attentions and has no hidden agendas for the relationship. To Seduce a Libra Woman The type of man who attracts a Libra woman is charming, polite, and well dressed -- it also helps if he’s good looking, romantic, and a bit old-fashioned as well. They tend to respond to mental and verbal flirtations more so than the crude physical kinds. To Seduce a Scorpio Man The type of woman who attracts the emotionally volatile Scorpio man is very vital, passionate, and intense. They rend to go for dynamic and powerful types of women who aren’t indecisive, weak willed pushovers. To Seduce a Scorpio Woman Scorpio women prefer a man who appears intense or inscrutable, and has a kind of magnetic charisma about him that hints at smoldering sexuality and unexplored depths of unbridled passion. To Seduce a Sagittarius man Sagittarius men like the type of woman who is honest, direct, and reliable -- basically a lover who is also a friend. They like a woman who's playful one minute, and philosophical the next, but always happy. To Seduce a Sagittarius Woman The man who attracts a Sagittarius woman is one who displays high moral and ethical standards, and lives up to their ideals of honesty and integrity. They want honesty, friendship, and fun from a potential mate. To Seduce a Capricorn Man The type of woman who attracts a Capricorn man is socially acceptable and somewhat formal or aloof -- not to mention quite serious about success and status. To Seduce a Capricorn Woman Capricorn women are after a man who seems serious, aloof, and detached, and somehow projects an inscrutable personal aura. They want a man who's ambitious and socially acceptable, and they are drawn to money, status, and power. To Seduce an Aquarius Man The type of woman who attracts an Aquarius man is intelligent, independent, free spirited, and a good conversationalist. Should she keep him guessing, or be a bit unconventional, she'll fascinate him, but if she's too emotional, he'll pass. To Seduce a an Aquarius Woman The type of man who attracts the Aquarius woman is intellectually interesting, logical, open-minded, and willing to experiment. A man with ideas and insights fascinates them to no end. Aquarius women are even more attracted if he seems unconventional or unpredictable or just unusual in some way. To Seduce a Pisces Man The type of woman who attracts the withdrawn Pisces man is romantic and emotional, sensitive and passive. Should she be intriguing or mysterious or able to make him feel secure, she could be just the one for him. Pisces men are fond of secret love affairs, as well as people who need help or emotional support. To Seduce a Pisces Woman The Pisces woman is after a man who is romantic, sensitive and either an imaginative dreamer or just lost and confused. The idea of a secret love affair can excite and entice her, and mystery intrigues her. You can also develop your own Tarot and psychic reading ability to find the solution to your specific questions. The simplest way to develop your psychic ability is through listening to your intuitive voice. For example, you can do your own Tarot card reading, and then ask yourself what these cards really mean. Trust your own psychic ESP! After all, no one can be a better Tarot reader than yourself.

"How to Seduce the 12 Horoscope Signs" was written by Elaine Fung. Elaine Fung is an expert in horoscopes and psychic subjects. In this article she provides us with useful tips to seduce any person we like just by knowing his zodiac sign. This is a public article, so, please feel free to use our content and give credit by linking back to us.

The 12 horoscope signs and the art of seduction
Follow the advices and attract the person you desire. The following advices are quite general. You can consult Tarot or psychic for personal questions. To Seduce an Aries Man The type of woman who can attract an Aries man is one that demonstrates a sense of independence and is bold, adventurous, or spontaneous. They'll respect the freedom of a woman like this. They admire strength and courage. Aries men enjoy a challenge, and may find it enjoyable to be seduced by an assertive woman, while offering sufficient resistance to make it interesting. Seduction of Taurus Taurus man prefers a woman who is cute, cuddly, calm and comfortable, and shows affection with caresses and kisses. They prefer women who are easy-going, earthy and sensuous, and not too independent or energetic. To Seduce a Gemini men Gemini men are attracted to women who are clever and changeable and can keep them guessing. They can be drawn to average looking women who are witty and interesting, and certainly more than to the beautiful but dull sort. To Seduce a Cancer Man The type of woman who attracts a Cancer man is one who will comfort and care for them. A woman who feeds a Cancer man and makes him feel loved may soon see them sharing her home, since home is where they most want to feel wanted and cherished and comforted. To Seduce a Leo Man The type of woman who attracts the Leo man is one that they can feel proud to be seen with -- one who makes them look good just by having her on his arm. A woman who is gorgeous or dramatic or regal or aloof turns them on. To Seduce a Virgo Man The type of woman who attracts the Virgo man in search of company always appears well groomed and conservatively dressed -- and, above all, has an air of propriety. They are very particular, and desire nothing short of perfection in their potential mates, which can leave them out in the cold more often than not. To Seduce a Libra Man The type of woman who attracts the Libra man has lots of class but isn’t too formal at the wrong times. She can be sort of sophisticated but not terribly stuck-up, sort of picky but not too particular, or any one of a number of contradicting categories, as long as she is utterly sincere in her attentions and has no hidden agendas for the relationship. To Seduce a Scorpio Man The type of woman who attracts the emotionally volatile Scorpio man is very vital, passionate, and intense. They rend to go for dynamic and powerful types of women who aren’t indecisive, weak willed pushovers. To Seduce a Sagittarius man Sagittarius men like the type of woman who is honest, direct, and reliable -- basically a lover who is also a friend. They like a woman who's playful one minute, and philosophical the next, but always happy. To Seduce a Capricorn Man The type of woman who attracts a Capricorn man is socially acceptable and somewhat formal or aloof -- not to mention quite serious about success and status. To Seduce an Aquarius Man The type of woman who attracts an Aquarius man is intelligent, independent, free spirited, and a good conversationalist. Should she keep him guessing, or be a bit unconventional, she'll fascinate him, but if she's too emotional, he'll pass. To Seduce a Pisces Man The type of woman who attracts the withdrawn Pisces man is romantic and emotional, sensitive and passive. Should she be intriguing or mysterious or able to make him feel secure, she could be just the one for him. Pisces men are fond of secret love affairs, as well as people who need help or emotional support. To Seduce an Aries Woman The type of man who attracts an Aries woman is brash and bold, daring and direct, and has a sense of adventure. They are drawn to macho types or men in uniform. They seek competition and challenges, so they prefer authoritative men who are hard to get. Aries women are attracted to winners, in sports or business or any form of competition. To Seduce a Taurus Woman The type of man who attracts a Taurus woman is the classic strong and silent type. Men who are down-to-earth appeal to her, and it may be important to her that he likes animals or nature in general. A man who can cook, cuddle, and care for her physical comforts is of great interest to her. To Seduce Gemini Woman The right man for the Gemini woman is clever and changeable, and a great conversationalist. Communication is very important to her, so the man who can share information and ideas is sure to be well regarded. To Seduce a Cancer Woman The right man for the Cancer woman is protective, security-conscious, sensitive, and understanding. If she finds that he makes her feel safe and secure, she’ll feel herself drawn to him. To Seduce a Leo Woman The right man for the job of taming the Leo lioness is one who radiates warmth and shows his affection in a physical way. They are even more interested if he happens to be rich or famous or powerful or gorgeous (or all of the above) so that she can share the spotlight with her new love. To Seduce a Virgo Woman The type of man who attracts the Virgo woman is intelligent, impeccably mannered and groomed, practical, and reliable. Neatness and cleanliness are the single most important factors here for the approval of a Virgo lady. To Seduce a Libra Woman The type of man who attracts a Libra woman is charming, polite, and well dressed -- it also helps if he’s good looking, romantic, and a bit old-fashioned as well. They tend to respond to mental and verbal flirtations more so than the crude physical kinds. To Seduce a Scorpio Woman Scorpio women prefer a man who appears intense or inscrutable, and has a kind of magnetic charisma about him that hints at smoldering sexuality and unexplored depths of unbridled passion. To Seduce a Sagittarius Woman The man who attracts a Sagittarius woman is one who displays high moral and ethical standards, and lives up to their ideals of honesty and integrity. They want honesty, friendship, and fun from a potential mate. To Seduce a Capricorn Woman Capricorn women are after a man who seems serious, aloof, and detached, and somehow projects an inscrutable personal aura. They want a man who's ambitious and socially acceptable, and they are drawn to money, status, and power. To Seduce a an Aquarius Woman The type of man who attracts the Aquarius woman is intellectually interesting, logical, open-minded, and willing to experiment. A man with ideas and insights fascinates them to no end. Aquarius women are even more attracted if he seems unconventional or unpredictable or just unusual in some way. To Seduce a Pisces Woman The Pisces woman is after a man who is romantic, sensitive and either an imaginative dreamer or just lost and confused. The idea of a secret love affair can excite and entice her, and mystery intrigues her. You can also develop your own Tarot and psychic reading ability to find the solution to your specific questions. The simplest way to develop your psychic ability is through listening to your intuitive voice. For example, you can do your own Tarot card reading, and then ask yourself what these cards really mean. Trust your own psychic ESP! After all, no one can be a better Tarot reader than yourself.

"How to Seduce the 12 Horoscope Signs" was written by Elaine Fung. Elaine Fung is an expert in horoscopes and psychic subjects. In this article she provides us with useful tips to seduce any person we like just by knowing his zodiac sign. This is a public article, so, please feel free to use our content and give credit by linking back to us.

Ignite your image!
Find a mirror. Gaze in. Run your eyes across your face... your body... your posture... Are you pleased with what peers back at you? Be truthful; no one would know ... are you satisfied with your appearance?... the way you carry yourself?... the expression on your face?... How you see yourself now possibly reflects how others perceive you.

As you look on, you immediately realize how your projected image largely determines your fortunes. Is that a frown... a grimace? Maybe that's why everyone in the office avoids you. Or do you shine like the sun with that dazzling smile and upbeat poise? It explains how easily you get along with your boss and win promotions rapidly.

Should you find your reflection any less devastating than a full ten points, heed the following suggestions now:

1) Recognize what you want. Clearly defined goals, both of the long term and short term infuse direction in your life. Walk through life with a purpose. You will feel important and others will hold you in esteem. Observe how your very outlook and poise changes when you have a defined PLAN.

2) Delegate responsibility. Maybe your haggard appearance spawns from juggling too many tasks simultaneously. You are only human and with finite abilities. Gather your trusted friends and enlist their help. Focus your action on the most important. You will have more time for more significant things.

3) Attack objectives one at a time. Never diffuse your energy. Even when you have identified your list of priorities, take each one at a time. Remember, your actions must be consistent with your current focus.

4) Project positive thoughts. Avoid thinking of the things you can't do; focus on what you CAN. Every failure is to be appreciated as a stepping stone to improvement. When you sense a negative thought creeping in your skull, squash it and replace it with a positive one. Do you want nasty critters overwhelming you?

5) Be as Buddha... eternally patient. Each time you lose patience, your blood pressure skyrockets. Your countenance turns hideous. Your compromise your performance with sloppy work. And people flee from you. Whenever you feel like climbing the wall, breathe deeply ten times before doing anything rash.

6) Make others feel needed and important. Smile at people like you've been missing them. Remember their names. Greet people wherever you go. You may be the ugliest thing on the earth, but if you make others feel good, they will worship you as a god. Learn when to acknowledge others' skill and authority. We all have our own expertise, so give credit where it is due. And people will admire you.

7) Make others dependent on you. When you manifest genuine admiration and regard for others, they will go against all odds to support your quests. When you lend a helping hand, even when not asked, they will volunteer in your hour of need. Give favors frequently... the Law of Reciprocity demands that the favor be returned.

8) Radiate enthusiasm like a supernova. PERK UP!!! We love people who walk with a bounce and jump with perk. Feeling low? Pull up that chin and wipe that growl! Unless you're a bouncer, frowning kills your image. Look how these two adjacent photographs compare!

9) Watch your voice. Keep the "uhms" and "ahhs" locked in a vault. Stuttering, lisps and bad grammar tarnish your image. Modulate your voice like a radio announcer. Here's a tip: prior to giving a long speech, hum loudly and in private for at least a minute. Allow your chest to reverberate. You will happily discover your voice acquiring a deep, mellow timbre. You'd confuse yourself with Sean Connery!

10) Observe poise. Rein in those galloping emotions! Breathe deeply and slowly. Allow your gestures measured movements. Move with great deliberation. Think of what you say and do before you do it. Sudden outbursts make you look unstable.

Exceed Global Ltd. was founded on February 1, 1998 by Joseph R. Plazo. Ravenous for knowledge, he earned his MBA from UP in 2002, and his Ph.D from BSU in 2005. Joseph is a busy man. He had been directing multiple enterprises since he achieved financial independence at 22. While juggling corporate endeavors, he writes books and relaxes with active sports. Airsoft is his passion. Today, he connects with men and women all over the world to spread the revolutionary gospel of savvy semantics and behavioral change technologies. His rallying cry is Make Life Magic! http://www.xtrememind.com http://www.powerconsultants.net http://jobcentralasia.com

Mirror and Matching; The Basis of Rapport and Communication Skills!
Can you remember a time when you met someone for the first time and it just seems to click? An instant bond between the two of you, an instant ‘like-ability’ or trust. You can literally FEEL, that connection! That connection is called Rapport! It is the basis and foundation for every meaningful interaction between two or more people. Rapport is about establishing an environment of trust and understanding, to respect and honor the other person’s world. This allows the person the freedom to fully express their ideas and feelings and know they’ll be respected and appreciated by you. Rapport creates the space for the person to feel listened and responded to, even when you dis-agree with what the other person says or does. Each person appreciates the other’s viewpoint and respects their model of the world. When you are in rapport with another person, you have the opportunity to enter their world and see things from their perspective, feel the way they do, get a better understanding of where they are coming from; and as a result, enhance the whole relationship. A 1970 study conducted by Dr. Ray Birdwhistle at the University of Pennsylvania concluded that 93% of our communication transpires non-verbally and unconscious. 55% of our communication is our physiology or body language, 38% is tonality or HOW we say our words, and only 7% is the content or words we choose to speak. Researchers at the Boston University Medical School studied films of people having conversations. The researchers noticed that the people talking began (unconsciously) to co-ordinate their movements (including finger movements, eye blinks and head nods.) When they were being monitored using electroencephalographs, they found some of their brain waves were spiking at the same moment also. As the conversations progressed, these people were getting into a deeper level rapport with each other, and didn’t even have a clue to what was going on, this is because we communicate our ideas and concepts at this 93% UN-conscious level, but believe the words we speak actually hold the meaning to our communication. NLP rapport skills teach us how to communicate at that unconscious level. Mirroring, matching, pacing and leading skills will enable you to become "like" the other person. Anthony Robbins stated: “People like each other when they tend to be like each other.” NLP teaches how to mirror and match that 55% physiology, 38% tonality and 7% predicates or process words. The key to establishing rapport is an ability to enter another person’s world by assuming a similar state of mind. The first thing to do is to become more like the other person by matching and mirroring the person’s behaviors -- body language, voice, words etc. Matching and mirroring is a powerful way of getting an appreciation of how the other person is seeing/experiencing the world. Some people find the idea of matching another person uncomfortable and they feel that they are trying to fool or take advantage of the other person. To overcome this uneasiness, realize that matching is a natural part of the rapport building process and that you are doing it unconsciously every day with your close family and friends. Each day gradually increase your conscious use of matching at a pace that is comfortable and ethical for you. Matching done with integrity and respect creates positive feelings and responses in you and others. Rapport is the ability to enter someone else’s world, to make him feel you understand him, and that there is a strong connection between the two of you. The purpose of the following exercises is to provide some experience with the basic processes and procedures of modeling. They primarily focus on the information gathering phase of the modeling process, and cover a range of modeling skills, including "implicit" and "explicit" modeling formats, and the use of multiple perceptual positions to gather different types and levels of information about a particular performance. Mirroring Exercise Mirroring is a method of building a strong "second position" with someone else. It is a fundamental skill for modeling another person and for developing intuitions about the person's internal experience. To get a sense of the influence and effects of mirroring, try out the following exercise. 1. Choose a partner, or person to converse with. Do not tell the person initially that you will be mirroring him or her during the conversation. 2. Enter into a conversation with the person, asking for his or her opinions about various subjects. 3. As you are conversing, begin to subtly mirror the other person's physiology (including voice tone and tempo). [Hint: This can be most easily done in the context of 'active listening'; that is, reflecting back statements the person has made, by commenting, "So what you are saying is....", and then stating your understanding of the person's opinion.] 4. When you are fully mirroring, you will be sitting in the same posture, using the same types of gestures, speaking at a similar speed and volume, and in a similar voice tone range, as the other person. If you are completely mirroring the other person, you may even be breathing at the same rate and pattern as the other. Notice how it feels when you have reached this level of deep rapport. 5. One way to test your degree of rapport is by "second guessing" the other person's opinion on a couple of subjects that you have not yet discussed. Often mirroring will give you access to information that is being unconsciously communicated and received, and you will "pick up" information about the other person without being consciously aware of how you got it. This is why mirroring is such a powerful tool for modeling. 6. To get another sense of the influence mirroring and matching has on your interaction; try out abruptly mismatching the other person, in posture, gestures, voice tone and breathing. Both you and your partner should experience quite a jolt if you do this, and feel as if your quality of rapport has changed dramatically. 7. Before concluding your conversation and letting your partner in on what you were doing, make sure you have reestablished rapport by once again physically mirroring your partner. One way to help rapport to develop is to mirror the micro-behaviors of those we wish to influence. Any observable behavior can be mirrored, for example: Body posture Spinal alignment Hand gestures Head tilt Blink rate Facial expression Energy level Breathing rate Vocal qualities (volume, tonality, rhythm) Key word phrases or predicates Anything else that you can observe… To mirror another person, merely select the behavior or quality you wish to mirror, and then do that behavior. If you choose to mirror head tilt, when the person moves their head, wait a few moments, then move yours to the same angle. The effect should be as though the other person is looking in a mirror. To mirror a person who has raised his right hand, you would raise your left hand (i.e. mirror image). To match this same person, you would raise your right-hand (doing exactly the same as the other person). Some practitioners see a time difference between mirroring and matching. For example, if someone makes hand gestures while they are speaking, you would wait until it was your turn to speak before making similar (matching) hand gestures. The fact that you've read this far means that you can see the benefits of increasing your rapport skills. Reading is sadly not enough - practice is the key to building skill, so do the exercises. When you first start the practice of mirroring, you may have to pay some conscious attention to what you're doing. After a while, however, you will start to catch yourself doing it unconsciously. This is where you really begin to build rapport elegantly! And at times when a gesture is idiosyncratic to that person or otherwise to obvious, you can do crossover matching. Meaning, if they adjust their glasses, and you don't wear any, then just move your foot. When you crossover match/mirror, you match/mirror a portion of the other person's body, with a different portion of your own body. This is best to do when you are matching someone's rate of breathing. You can use your finger to pace the rhythm of their breath. When matching or mirroring someone's voice, do that with their tonality, volume, and the rate at which they speak. And remember you don't have to do all of these things, just one or two will be enough to create rapport in most cases. Skilled communicators have a wide range of behaviors they can mirror to build rapport. You can find a way to mirror virtually anything you can observe. When this is done elegantly, it is out of consciousness for the other person. • However, a few notes of caution are appropriate: • Mirroring is not the same as mimicry. • It should be subtle and respectful. • Mirroring can lead to you sharing the other person's experience. • Avoid mirroring people who are in distress or who have severe mental issues. • Mirroring builds a deep sense of trust quickly, so use it with responsibility. Practice with friends and family members to start and begin to match different aspects of their posture, gestures, voice and words. Have fun with it and notice if they begin to respond to your matching. At work or social events, start by matching one specific behavior, and once they and you feel comfortable, begin to add on another. With people whom you already have a sense of rapport, notice how often you naturally match their posture, gestures, tone of voice or words, This is because matching and mirroring comes naturally. Your outcome then should be to create rapport with anyone at any given moment, having it become automatic whenever you wish to deepen that sense of rapport. Exercise 1 Practice mirroring the micro-behaviors of people on television (chat shows & interviews are ideal.) You may be surprised at how quickly you can become comfortable as you subtly mirror the behaviors of others. Exercise 2 Choose a safe situation to practice mirroring an element of someone else's behavior. When you have mirrored them for a while, and think you are in rapport with the person, scratch your nose. If they lift their hand to their face within the next minute or so, congratulate yourself - you have led their behavior! Exercise 3 Increase the range of behaviors that you can mirror, and introduce deliberate rapport-building into situations where it will benefit you and others. Use your common sense and choose low-risk situations to practice in.) Exercise 4 During a conversation with another person; choose one of their behaviors (e.g. breathing rate) to cross-over match with one of your behaviors (e.g. speaking rate.) Notice how quickly the sense of connection develops! Backtracking is another excellent skill to learn in order to maintain and deepen rapport. When you are in conversation with another person, whether it be business or personal, take the opportunity to recite back to the person the information you’re receiving. This lets the person know that you were listening and you understand without judgment. It also allows you a chance to ensure your understanding and/or ask for clarification. Backtracking is the thread that tightens and deepens rapport. Backtracking is repeating back the essence, not verbatim, of what the person is attempting to communicate. There will be times when you’re backtracking, and the other person will add on or correct you. Being corrected will only strengthen rapport because you’ll then backtrack again and have the person really feel you understand. There is also the possibility being corrected will cause you to lose rapport. However, losing rapport is just like losing your balance. You falter, recover, and get back into it again. When you do lose rapport you’ll find a way to regain it. There may also be times you want to be "out" of rapport with someone. For example if it isn't healthy for you to be around certain people, you are held hostage at a cocktail party or you are doing it for effect. Typically people think the way to break rapport is to be demeaning or disagree. Although that may work I recommend mismatching. This means intentionally mismatch posture, breathing, key words/gestures, and voice quality. Rely on mismatching the nonverbal communication and you will be out of rapport. For those of you who like experiments try this: Disagree strongly and maintain rapport. Or agree completely while breaking rapport. And all experimenting should be done in a non-critical environment without judgment. The key element in establishing, building, deepening and maintaining rapport is your ability to pay attention to the responses you receive. One presupposition of NLP, or assumed rules is; “Communication is the response we receive back, NOT our intention given.”

John James Santangelo C.Ht. nationally acclaimed speaker, seminar leader, and success coach has been a guiding force in empowering individuals, businesses, and corporations to excel at peak performance. Working with companies such as Learning Annex, CSUN-Northridge University, Mary Kay Inc, Well Point, Xerox, RE/MAX Realtors, the Teamsters Union, and the US Army counter-intelligence team. Whether you’re looking to fulfill short-term goals, meeting planner events, or corporate sales/communication trainings, John can help you achieve a new level of success! He is the author of Asking The Right Questions…” For more information on Successful Communication Skills, email Info@JohnSantangelo.com or www.JohnSantangelo.com

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