How to Seduce the 12 Horoscope Signs
Follow the advices and attract the person you desire. The following advices are quite general. You can consult Tarot or psychic for personal questions. To Seduce an Aries Man The type of woman who can attract an Aries man is one that demonstrates a sense of independence and is bold, adventurous, or spontaneous. They'll respect the freedom of a woman like this. They admire strength and courage. Aries men enjoy a challenge, and may find it enjoyable to be seduced by an assertive woman, while offering sufficient resistance to make it interesting. To Seduce an Aries Woman The type of man who attracts an Aries woman is brash and bold, daring and direct, and has a sense of adventure. They are drawn to macho types or men in uniform. They seek competition and challenges, so they prefer authoritative men who are hard to get. Aries women are attracted to winners, in sports or business or any form of competition. Seduction of Taurus Taurus man prefers a woman who is cute, cuddly, calm and comfortable, and shows affection with caresses and kisses. They prefer women who are easy-going, earthy and sensuous, and not too independent or energetic. To Seduce a Taurus Woman The type of man who attracts a Taurus woman is the classic strong and silent type. Men who are down-to-earth appeal to her, and it may be important to her that he likes animals or nature in general. A man who can cook, cuddle, and care for her physical comforts is of great interest to her. To Seduce a Gemini men Gemini men are attracted to women who are clever and changeable and can keep them guessing. They can be drawn to average looking women who are witty and interesting, and certainly more than to the beautiful but dull sort. To Seduce Gemini Woman The right man for the Gemini woman is clever and changeable, and a great conversationalist. Communication is very important to her, so the man who can share information and ideas is sure to be well regarded. To Seduce a Cancer Man The type of woman who attracts a Cancer man is one who will comfort and care for them. A woman who feeds a Cancer man and makes him feel loved may soon see them sharing her home, since home is where they most want to feel wanted and cherished and comforted. To Seduce a Cancer Woman The right man for the Cancer woman is protective, security-conscious, sensitive, and understanding. If she finds that he makes her feel safe and secure, she’ll feel herself drawn to him. To Seduce a Leo Man The type of woman who attracts the Leo man is one that they can feel proud to be seen with -- one who makes them look good just by having her on his arm. A woman who is gorgeous or dramatic or regal or aloof turns them on. To Seduce a Leo Woman The right man for the job of taming the Leo lioness is one who radiates warmth and shows his affection in a physical way. They are even more interested if he happens to be rich or famous or powerful or gorgeous (or all of the above) so that she can share the spotlight with her new love. To Seduce a Virgo Man The type of woman who attracts the Virgo man in search of company always appears well groomed and conservatively dressed -- and, above all, has an air of propriety. They are very particular, and desire nothing short of perfection in their potential mates, which can leave them out in the cold more often than not. To Seduce a Virgo Woman The type of man who attracts the Virgo woman is intelligent, impeccably mannered and groomed, practical, and reliable. Neatness and cleanliness are the single most important factors here for the approval of a Virgo lady. To Seduce a Libra Man The type of woman who attracts the Libra man has lots of class but isn’t too formal at the wrong times. She can be sort of sophisticated but not terribly stuck-up, sort of picky but not too particular, or any one of a number of contradicting categories, as long as she is utterly sincere in her attentions and has no hidden agendas for the relationship. To Seduce a Libra Woman The type of man who attracts a Libra woman is charming, polite, and well dressed -- it also helps if he’s good looking, romantic, and a bit old-fashioned as well. They tend to respond to mental and verbal flirtations more so than the crude physical kinds. To Seduce a Scorpio Man The type of woman who attracts the emotionally volatile Scorpio man is very vital, passionate, and intense. They rend to go for dynamic and powerful types of women who aren’t indecisive, weak willed pushovers. To Seduce a Scorpio Woman Scorpio women prefer a man who appears intense or inscrutable, and has a kind of magnetic charisma about him that hints at smoldering sexuality and unexplored depths of unbridled passion. To Seduce a Sagittarius man Sagittarius men like the type of woman who is honest, direct, and reliable -- basically a lover who is also a friend. They like a woman who's playful one minute, and philosophical the next, but always happy. To Seduce a Sagittarius Woman The man who attracts a Sagittarius woman is one who displays high moral and ethical standards, and lives up to their ideals of honesty and integrity. They want honesty, friendship, and fun from a potential mate. To Seduce a Capricorn Man The type of woman who attracts a Capricorn man is socially acceptable and somewhat formal or aloof -- not to mention quite serious about success and status. To Seduce a Capricorn Woman Capricorn women are after a man who seems serious, aloof, and detached, and somehow projects an inscrutable personal aura. They want a man who's ambitious and socially acceptable, and they are drawn to money, status, and power. To Seduce an Aquarius Man The type of woman who attracts an Aquarius man is intelligent, independent, free spirited, and a good conversationalist. Should she keep him guessing, or be a bit unconventional, she'll fascinate him, but if she's too emotional, he'll pass. To Seduce a an Aquarius Woman The type of man who attracts the Aquarius woman is intellectually interesting, logical, open-minded, and willing to experiment. A man with ideas and insights fascinates them to no end. Aquarius women are even more attracted if he seems unconventional or unpredictable or just unusual in some way. To Seduce a Pisces Man The type of woman who attracts the withdrawn Pisces man is romantic and emotional, sensitive and passive. Should she be intriguing or mysterious or able to make him feel secure, she could be just the one for him. Pisces men are fond of secret love affairs, as well as people who need help or emotional support. To Seduce a Pisces Woman The Pisces woman is after a man who is romantic, sensitive and either an imaginative dreamer or just lost and confused. The idea of a secret love affair can excite and entice her, and mystery intrigues her. You can also develop your own Tarot and psychic reading ability to find the solution to your specific questions. The simplest way to develop your psychic ability is through listening to your intuitive voice. For example, you can do your own Tarot card reading, and then ask yourself what these cards really mean. Trust your own psychic ESP! After all, no one can be a better Tarot reader than yourself.
"How to Seduce the 12 Horoscope Signs" was written by Elaine Fung. Elaine Fung is an expert in horoscopes and psychic subjects. In this article she provides us with useful tips to seduce any person we like just by knowing his zodiac sign. This is a public article, so, please feel free to use our content and give credit by linking back to us.
The 12 horoscope signs and the art of seduction
Follow the advices and attract the person you desire. The following advices are quite general. You can consult Tarot or psychic for personal questions. To Seduce an Aries Man The type of woman who can attract an Aries man is one that demonstrates a sense of independence and is bold, adventurous, or spontaneous. They'll respect the freedom of a woman like this. They admire strength and courage. Aries men enjoy a challenge, and may find it enjoyable to be seduced by an assertive woman, while offering sufficient resistance to make it interesting. Seduction of Taurus Taurus man prefers a woman who is cute, cuddly, calm and comfortable, and shows affection with caresses and kisses. They prefer women who are easy-going, earthy and sensuous, and not too independent or energetic. To Seduce a Gemini men Gemini men are attracted to women who are clever and changeable and can keep them guessing. They can be drawn to average looking women who are witty and interesting, and certainly more than to the beautiful but dull sort. To Seduce a Cancer Man The type of woman who attracts a Cancer man is one who will comfort and care for them. A woman who feeds a Cancer man and makes him feel loved may soon see them sharing her home, since home is where they most want to feel wanted and cherished and comforted. To Seduce a Leo Man The type of woman who attracts the Leo man is one that they can feel proud to be seen with -- one who makes them look good just by having her on his arm. A woman who is gorgeous or dramatic or regal or aloof turns them on. To Seduce a Virgo Man The type of woman who attracts the Virgo man in search of company always appears well groomed and conservatively dressed -- and, above all, has an air of propriety. They are very particular, and desire nothing short of perfection in their potential mates, which can leave them out in the cold more often than not. To Seduce a Libra Man The type of woman who attracts the Libra man has lots of class but isn’t too formal at the wrong times. She can be sort of sophisticated but not terribly stuck-up, sort of picky but not too particular, or any one of a number of contradicting categories, as long as she is utterly sincere in her attentions and has no hidden agendas for the relationship. To Seduce a Scorpio Man The type of woman who attracts the emotionally volatile Scorpio man is very vital, passionate, and intense. They rend to go for dynamic and powerful types of women who aren’t indecisive, weak willed pushovers. To Seduce a Sagittarius man Sagittarius men like the type of woman who is honest, direct, and reliable -- basically a lover who is also a friend. They like a woman who's playful one minute, and philosophical the next, but always happy. To Seduce a Capricorn Man The type of woman who attracts a Capricorn man is socially acceptable and somewhat formal or aloof -- not to mention quite serious about success and status. To Seduce an Aquarius Man The type of woman who attracts an Aquarius man is intelligent, independent, free spirited, and a good conversationalist. Should she keep him guessing, or be a bit unconventional, she'll fascinate him, but if she's too emotional, he'll pass. To Seduce a Pisces Man The type of woman who attracts the withdrawn Pisces man is romantic and emotional, sensitive and passive. Should she be intriguing or mysterious or able to make him feel secure, she could be just the one for him. Pisces men are fond of secret love affairs, as well as people who need help or emotional support. To Seduce an Aries Woman The type of man who attracts an Aries woman is brash and bold, daring and direct, and has a sense of adventure. They are drawn to macho types or men in uniform. They seek competition and challenges, so they prefer authoritative men who are hard to get. Aries women are attracted to winners, in sports or business or any form of competition. To Seduce a Taurus Woman The type of man who attracts a Taurus woman is the classic strong and silent type. Men who are down-to-earth appeal to her, and it may be important to her that he likes animals or nature in general. A man who can cook, cuddle, and care for her physical comforts is of great interest to her. To Seduce Gemini Woman The right man for the Gemini woman is clever and changeable, and a great conversationalist. Communication is very important to her, so the man who can share information and ideas is sure to be well regarded. To Seduce a Cancer Woman The right man for the Cancer woman is protective, security-conscious, sensitive, and understanding. If she finds that he makes her feel safe and secure, she’ll feel herself drawn to him. To Seduce a Leo Woman The right man for the job of taming the Leo lioness is one who radiates warmth and shows his affection in a physical way. They are even more interested if he happens to be rich or famous or powerful or gorgeous (or all of the above) so that she can share the spotlight with her new love. To Seduce a Virgo Woman The type of man who attracts the Virgo woman is intelligent, impeccably mannered and groomed, practical, and reliable. Neatness and cleanliness are the single most important factors here for the approval of a Virgo lady. To Seduce a Libra Woman The type of man who attracts a Libra woman is charming, polite, and well dressed -- it also helps if he’s good looking, romantic, and a bit old-fashioned as well. They tend to respond to mental and verbal flirtations more so than the crude physical kinds. To Seduce a Scorpio Woman Scorpio women prefer a man who appears intense or inscrutable, and has a kind of magnetic charisma about him that hints at smoldering sexuality and unexplored depths of unbridled passion. To Seduce a Sagittarius Woman The man who attracts a Sagittarius woman is one who displays high moral and ethical standards, and lives up to their ideals of honesty and integrity. They want honesty, friendship, and fun from a potential mate. To Seduce a Capricorn Woman Capricorn women are after a man who seems serious, aloof, and detached, and somehow projects an inscrutable personal aura. They want a man who's ambitious and socially acceptable, and they are drawn to money, status, and power. To Seduce a an Aquarius Woman The type of man who attracts the Aquarius woman is intellectually interesting, logical, open-minded, and willing to experiment. A man with ideas and insights fascinates them to no end. Aquarius women are even more attracted if he seems unconventional or unpredictable or just unusual in some way. To Seduce a Pisces Woman The Pisces woman is after a man who is romantic, sensitive and either an imaginative dreamer or just lost and confused. The idea of a secret love affair can excite and entice her, and mystery intrigues her. You can also develop your own Tarot and psychic reading ability to find the solution to your specific questions. The simplest way to develop your psychic ability is through listening to your intuitive voice. For example, you can do your own Tarot card reading, and then ask yourself what these cards really mean. Trust your own psychic ESP! After all, no one can be a better Tarot reader than yourself.
"How to Seduce the 12 Horoscope Signs" was written by Elaine Fung. Elaine Fung is an expert in horoscopes and psychic subjects. In this article she provides us with useful tips to seduce any person we like just by knowing his zodiac sign. This is a public article, so, please feel free to use our content and give credit by linking back to us.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Maria Duval - The 12 horoscope signs and the art of seduction
The 12 horoscope signs and the art of seduction
Follow the advices and attract the person you desire. The following advices are quite general. You can consult Tarot or psychic for personal questions. To Seduce an Aries Man The type of woman who can attract an Aries man is one that demonstrates a sense of independence and is bold, adventurous, or spontaneous. They'll respect the freedom of a woman like this. They admire strength and courage. Aries men enjoy a challenge, and may find it enjoyable to be seduced by an assertive woman, while offering sufficient resistance to make it interesting. Seduction of Taurus Taurus man prefers a woman who is cute, cuddly, calm and comfortable, and shows affection with caresses and kisses. They prefer women who are easy-going, earthy and sensuous, and not too independent or energetic. To Seduce a Gemini men Gemini men are attracted to women who are clever and changeable and can keep them guessing. They can be drawn to average looking women who are witty and interesting, and certainly more than to the beautiful but dull sort. To Seduce a Cancer Man The type of woman who attracts a Cancer man is one who will comfort and care for them. A woman who feeds a Cancer man and makes him feel loved may soon see them sharing her home, since home is where they most want to feel wanted and cherished and comforted. To Seduce a Leo Man The type of woman who attracts the Leo man is one that they can feel proud to be seen with -- one who makes them look good just by having her on his arm. A woman who is gorgeous or dramatic or regal or aloof turns them on. To Seduce a Virgo Man The type of woman who attracts the Virgo man in search of company always appears well groomed and conservatively dressed -- and, above all, has an air of propriety. They are very particular, and desire nothing short of perfection in their potential mates, which can leave them out in the cold more often than not. To Seduce a Libra Man The type of woman who attracts the Libra man has lots of class but isn’t too formal at the wrong times. She can be sort of sophisticated but not terribly stuck-up, sort of picky but not too particular, or any one of a number of contradicting categories, as long as she is utterly sincere in her attentions and has no hidden agendas for the relationship. To Seduce a Scorpio Man The type of woman who attracts the emotionally volatile Scorpio man is very vital, passionate, and intense. They rend to go for dynamic and powerful types of women who aren’t indecisive, weak willed pushovers. To Seduce a Sagittarius man Sagittarius men like the type of woman who is honest, direct, and reliable -- basically a lover who is also a friend. They like a woman who's playful one minute, and philosophical the next, but always happy. To Seduce a Capricorn Man The type of woman who attracts a Capricorn man is socially acceptable and somewhat formal or aloof -- not to mention quite serious about success and status. To Seduce an Aquarius Man The type of woman who attracts an Aquarius man is intelligent, independent, free spirited, and a good conversationalist. Should she keep him guessing, or be a bit unconventional, she'll fascinate him, but if she's too emotional, he'll pass. To Seduce a Pisces Man The type of woman who attracts the withdrawn Pisces man is romantic and emotional, sensitive and passive. Should she be intriguing or mysterious or able to make him feel secure, she could be just the one for him. Pisces men are fond of secret love affairs, as well as people who need help or emotional support. To Seduce an Aries Woman The type of man who attracts an Aries woman is brash and bold, daring and direct, and has a sense of adventure. They are drawn to macho types or men in uniform. They seek competition and challenges, so they prefer authoritative men who are hard to get. Aries women are attracted to winners, in sports or business or any form of competition. To Seduce a Taurus Woman The type of man who attracts a Taurus woman is the classic strong and silent type. Men who are down-to-earth appeal to her, and it may be important to her that he likes animals or nature in general. A man who can cook, cuddle, and care for her physical comforts is of great interest to her. To Seduce Gemini Woman The right man for the Gemini woman is clever and changeable, and a great conversationalist. Communication is very important to her, so the man who can share information and ideas is sure to be well regarded. To Seduce a Cancer Woman The right man for the Cancer woman is protective, security-conscious, sensitive, and understanding. If she finds that he makes her feel safe and secure, she’ll feel herself drawn to him. To Seduce a Leo Woman The right man for the job of taming the Leo lioness is one who radiates warmth and shows his affection in a physical way. They are even more interested if he happens to be rich or famous or powerful or gorgeous (or all of the above) so that she can share the spotlight with her new love. To Seduce a Virgo Woman The type of man who attracts the Virgo woman is intelligent, impeccably mannered and groomed, practical, and reliable. Neatness and cleanliness are the single most important factors here for the approval of a Virgo lady. To Seduce a Libra Woman The type of man who attracts a Libra woman is charming, polite, and well dressed -- it also helps if he’s good looking, romantic, and a bit old-fashioned as well. They tend to respond to mental and verbal flirtations more so than the crude physical kinds. To Seduce a Scorpio Woman Scorpio women prefer a man who appears intense or inscrutable, and has a kind of magnetic charisma about him that hints at smoldering sexuality and unexplored depths of unbridled passion. To Seduce a Sagittarius Woman The man who attracts a Sagittarius woman is one who displays high moral and ethical standards, and lives up to their ideals of honesty and integrity. They want honesty, friendship, and fun from a potential mate. To Seduce a Capricorn Woman Capricorn women are after a man who seems serious, aloof, and detached, and somehow projects an inscrutable personal aura. They want a man who's ambitious and socially acceptable, and they are drawn to money, status, and power. To Seduce a an Aquarius Woman The type of man who attracts the Aquarius woman is intellectually interesting, logical, open-minded, and willing to experiment. A man with ideas and insights fascinates them to no end. Aquarius women are even more attracted if he seems unconventional or unpredictable or just unusual in some way. To Seduce a Pisces Woman The Pisces woman is after a man who is romantic, sensitive and either an imaginative dreamer or just lost and confused. The idea of a secret love affair can excite and entice her, and mystery intrigues her. You can also develop your own Tarot and psychic reading ability to find the solution to your specific questions. The simplest way to develop your psychic ability is through listening to your intuitive voice. For example, you can do your own Tarot card reading, and then ask yourself what these cards really mean. Trust your own psychic ESP! After all, no one can be a better Tarot reader than yourself.
"How to Seduce the 12 Horoscope Signs" was written by Elaine Fung. Elaine Fung is an expert in horoscopes and psychic subjects. In this article she provides us with useful tips to seduce any person we like just by knowing his zodiac sign. This is a public article, so, please feel free to use our content and give credit by linking back to us.
Mirror and Matching; The Basis of Rapport and Communication Skills!
Can you remember a time when you met someone for the first time and it just seems to click? An instant bond between the two of you, an instant ‘like-ability’ or trust. You can literally FEEL, that connection! That connection is called Rapport! It is the basis and foundation for every meaningful interaction between two or more people. Rapport is about establishing an environment of trust and understanding, to respect and honor the other person’s world. This allows the person the freedom to fully express their ideas and feelings and know they’ll be respected and appreciated by you. Rapport creates the space for the person to feel listened and responded to, even when you dis-agree with what the other person says or does. Each person appreciates the other’s viewpoint and respects their model of the world. When you are in rapport with another person, you have the opportunity to enter their world and see things from their perspective, feel the way they do, get a better understanding of where they are coming from; and as a result, enhance the whole relationship. A 1970 study conducted by Dr. Ray Birdwhistle at the University of Pennsylvania concluded that 93% of our communication transpires non-verbally and unconscious. 55% of our communication is our physiology or body language, 38% is tonality or HOW we say our words, and only 7% is the content or words we choose to speak. Researchers at the Boston University Medical School studied films of people having conversations. The researchers noticed that the people talking began (unconsciously) to co-ordinate their movements (including finger movements, eye blinks and head nods.) When they were being monitored using electroencephalographs, they found some of their brain waves were spiking at the same moment also. As the conversations progressed, these people were getting into a deeper level rapport with each other, and didn’t even have a clue to what was going on, this is because we communicate our ideas and concepts at this 93% UN-conscious level, but believe the words we speak actually hold the meaning to our communication. NLP rapport skills teach us how to communicate at that unconscious level. Mirroring, matching, pacing and leading skills will enable you to become "like" the other person. Anthony Robbins stated: “People like each other when they tend to be like each other.” NLP teaches how to mirror and match that 55% physiology, 38% tonality and 7% predicates or process words. The key to establishing rapport is an ability to enter another person’s world by assuming a similar state of mind. The first thing to do is to become more like the other person by matching and mirroring the person’s behaviors -- body language, voice, words etc. Matching and mirroring is a powerful way of getting an appreciation of how the other person is seeing/experiencing the world. Some people find the idea of matching another person uncomfortable and they feel that they are trying to fool or take advantage of the other person. To overcome this uneasiness, realize that matching is a natural part of the rapport building process and that you are doing it unconsciously every day with your close family and friends. Each day gradually increase your conscious use of matching at a pace that is comfortable and ethical for you. Matching done with integrity and respect creates positive feelings and responses in you and others. Rapport is the ability to enter someone else’s world, to make him feel you understand him, and that there is a strong connection between the two of you. The purpose of the following exercises is to provide some experience with the basic processes and procedures of modeling. They primarily focus on the information gathering phase of the modeling process, and cover a range of modeling skills, including "implicit" and "explicit" modeling formats, and the use of multiple perceptual positions to gather different types and levels of information about a particular performance. Mirroring Exercise Mirroring is a method of building a strong "second position" with someone else. It is a fundamental skill for modeling another person and for developing intuitions about the person's internal experience. To get a sense of the influence and effects of mirroring, try out the following exercise. 1. Choose a partner, or person to converse with. Do not tell the person initially that you will be mirroring him or her during the conversation. 2. Enter into a conversation with the person, asking for his or her opinions about various subjects. 3. As you are conversing, begin to subtly mirror the other person's physiology (including voice tone and tempo). [Hint: This can be most easily done in the context of 'active listening'; that is, reflecting back statements the person has made, by commenting, "So what you are saying is....", and then stating your understanding of the person's opinion.] 4. When you are fully mirroring, you will be sitting in the same posture, using the same types of gestures, speaking at a similar speed and volume, and in a similar voice tone range, as the other person. If you are completely mirroring the other person, you may even be breathing at the same rate and pattern as the other. Notice how it feels when you have reached this level of deep rapport. 5. One way to test your degree of rapport is by "second guessing" the other person's opinion on a couple of subjects that you have not yet discussed. Often mirroring will give you access to information that is being unconsciously communicated and received, and you will "pick up" information about the other person without being consciously aware of how you got it. This is why mirroring is such a powerful tool for modeling. 6. To get another sense of the influence mirroring and matching has on your interaction; try out abruptly mismatching the other person, in posture, gestures, voice tone and breathing. Both you and your partner should experience quite a jolt if you do this, and feel as if your quality of rapport has changed dramatically. 7. Before concluding your conversation and letting your partner in on what you were doing, make sure you have reestablished rapport by once again physically mirroring your partner. One way to help rapport to develop is to mirror the micro-behaviors of those we wish to influence. Any observable behavior can be mirrored, for example: Body posture Spinal alignment Hand gestures Head tilt Blink rate Facial expression Energy level Breathing rate Vocal qualities (volume, tonality, rhythm) Key word phrases or predicates Anything else that you can observe… To mirror another person, merely select the behavior or quality you wish to mirror, and then do that behavior. If you choose to mirror head tilt, when the person moves their head, wait a few moments, then move yours to the same angle. The effect should be as though the other person is looking in a mirror. To mirror a person who has raised his right hand, you would raise your left hand (i.e. mirror image). To match this same person, you would raise your right-hand (doing exactly the same as the other person). Some practitioners see a time difference between mirroring and matching. For example, if someone makes hand gestures while they are speaking, you would wait until it was your turn to speak before making similar (matching) hand gestures. The fact that you've read this far means that you can see the benefits of increasing your rapport skills. Reading is sadly not enough - practice is the key to building skill, so do the exercises. When you first start the practice of mirroring, you may have to pay some conscious attention to what you're doing. After a while, however, you will start to catch yourself doing it unconsciously. This is where you really begin to build rapport elegantly! And at times when a gesture is idiosyncratic to that person or otherwise to obvious, you can do crossover matching. Meaning, if they adjust their glasses, and you don't wear any, then just move your foot. When you crossover match/mirror, you match/mirror a portion of the other person's body, with a different portion of your own body. This is best to do when you are matching someone's rate of breathing. You can use your finger to pace the rhythm of their breath. When matching or mirroring someone's voice, do that with their tonality, volume, and the rate at which they speak. And remember you don't have to do all of these things, just one or two will be enough to create rapport in most cases. Skilled communicators have a wide range of behaviors they can mirror to build rapport. You can find a way to mirror virtually anything you can observe. When this is done elegantly, it is out of consciousness for the other person. • However, a few notes of caution are appropriate: • Mirroring is not the same as mimicry. • It should be subtle and respectful. • Mirroring can lead to you sharing the other person's experience. • Avoid mirroring people who are in distress or who have severe mental issues. • Mirroring builds a deep sense of trust quickly, so use it with responsibility. Practice with friends and family members to start and begin to match different aspects of their posture, gestures, voice and words. Have fun with it and notice if they begin to respond to your matching. At work or social events, start by matching one specific behavior, and once they and you feel comfortable, begin to add on another. With people whom you already have a sense of rapport, notice how often you naturally match their posture, gestures, tone of voice or words, This is because matching and mirroring comes naturally. Your outcome then should be to create rapport with anyone at any given moment, having it become automatic whenever you wish to deepen that sense of rapport. Exercise 1 Practice mirroring the micro-behaviors of people on television (chat shows & interviews are ideal.) You may be surprised at how quickly you can become comfortable as you subtly mirror the behaviors of others. Exercise 2 Choose a safe situation to practice mirroring an element of someone else's behavior. When you have mirrored them for a while, and think you are in rapport with the person, scratch your nose. If they lift their hand to their face within the next minute or so, congratulate yourself - you have led their behavior! Exercise 3 Increase the range of behaviors that you can mirror, and introduce deliberate rapport-building into situations where it will benefit you and others. Use your common sense and choose low-risk situations to practice in.) Exercise 4 During a conversation with another person; choose one of their behaviors (e.g. breathing rate) to cross-over match with one of your behaviors (e.g. speaking rate.) Notice how quickly the sense of connection develops! Backtracking is another excellent skill to learn in order to maintain and deepen rapport. When you are in conversation with another person, whether it be business or personal, take the opportunity to recite back to the person the information you’re receiving. This lets the person know that you were listening and you understand without judgment. It also allows you a chance to ensure your understanding and/or ask for clarification. Backtracking is the thread that tightens and deepens rapport. Backtracking is repeating back the essence, not verbatim, of what the person is attempting to communicate. There will be times when you’re backtracking, and the other person will add on or correct you. Being corrected will only strengthen rapport because you’ll then backtrack again and have the person really feel you understand. There is also the possibility being corrected will cause you to lose rapport. However, losing rapport is just like losing your balance. You falter, recover, and get back into it again. When you do lose rapport you’ll find a way to regain it. There may also be times you want to be "out" of rapport with someone. For example if it isn't healthy for you to be around certain people, you are held hostage at a cocktail party or you are doing it for effect. Typically people think the way to break rapport is to be demeaning or disagree. Although that may work I recommend mismatching. This means intentionally mismatch posture, breathing, key words/gestures, and voice quality. Rely on mismatching the nonverbal communication and you will be out of rapport. For those of you who like experiments try this: Disagree strongly and maintain rapport. Or agree completely while breaking rapport. And all experimenting should be done in a non-critical environment without judgment. The key element in establishing, building, deepening and maintaining rapport is your ability to pay attention to the responses you receive. One presupposition of NLP, or assumed rules is; “Communication is the response we receive back, NOT our intention given.”
John James Santangelo C.Ht. nationally acclaimed speaker, seminar leader, and success coach has been a guiding force in empowering individuals, businesses, and corporations to excel at peak performance. Working with companies such as Learning Annex, CSUN-Northridge University, Mary Kay Inc, Well Point, Xerox, RE/MAX Realtors, the Teamsters Union, and the US Army counter-intelligence team. Whether you’re looking to fulfill short-term goals, meeting planner events, or corporate sales/communication trainings, John can help you achieve a new level of success! He is the author of Asking The Right Questions…” For more information on Successful Communication Skills, email Info@JohnSantangelo.com or www.JohnSantangelo.com
How to Seduce the 12 Horoscope Signs
Follow the advices and attract the person you desire. The following advices are quite general. You can consult Tarot or psychic for personal questions. To Seduce an Aries Man The type of woman who can attract an Aries man is one that demonstrates a sense of independence and is bold, adventurous, or spontaneous. They'll respect the freedom of a woman like this. They admire strength and courage. Aries men enjoy a challenge, and may find it enjoyable to be seduced by an assertive woman, while offering sufficient resistance to make it interesting. To Seduce an Aries Woman The type of man who attracts an Aries woman is brash and bold, daring and direct, and has a sense of adventure. They are drawn to macho types or men in uniform. They seek competition and challenges, so they prefer authoritative men who are hard to get. Aries women are attracted to winners, in sports or business or any form of competition. Seduction of Taurus Taurus man prefers a woman who is cute, cuddly, calm and comfortable, and shows affection with caresses and kisses. They prefer women who are easy-going, earthy and sensuous, and not too independent or energetic. To Seduce a Taurus Woman The type of man who attracts a Taurus woman is the classic strong and silent type. Men who are down-to-earth appeal to her, and it may be important to her that he likes animals or nature in general. A man who can cook, cuddle, and care for her physical comforts is of great interest to her. To Seduce a Gemini men Gemini men are attracted to women who are clever and changeable and can keep them guessing. They can be drawn to average looking women who are witty and interesting, and certainly more than to the beautiful but dull sort. To Seduce Gemini Woman The right man for the Gemini woman is clever and changeable, and a great conversationalist. Communication is very important to her, so the man who can share information and ideas is sure to be well regarded. To Seduce a Cancer Man The type of woman who attracts a Cancer man is one who will comfort and care for them. A woman who feeds a Cancer man and makes him feel loved may soon see them sharing her home, since home is where they most want to feel wanted and cherished and comforted. To Seduce a Cancer Woman The right man for the Cancer woman is protective, security-conscious, sensitive, and understanding. If she finds that he makes her feel safe and secure, she’ll feel herself drawn to him. To Seduce a Leo Man The type of woman who attracts the Leo man is one that they can feel proud to be seen with -- one who makes them look good just by having her on his arm. A woman who is gorgeous or dramatic or regal or aloof turns them on. To Seduce a Leo Woman The right man for the job of taming the Leo lioness is one who radiates warmth and shows his affection in a physical way. They are even more interested if he happens to be rich or famous or powerful or gorgeous (or all of the above) so that she can share the spotlight with her new love. To Seduce a Virgo Man The type of woman who attracts the Virgo man in search of company always appears well groomed and conservatively dressed -- and, above all, has an air of propriety. They are very particular, and desire nothing short of perfection in their potential mates, which can leave them out in the cold more often than not. To Seduce a Virgo Woman The type of man who attracts the Virgo woman is intelligent, impeccably mannered and groomed, practical, and reliable. Neatness and cleanliness are the single most important factors here for the approval of a Virgo lady. To Seduce a Libra Man The type of woman who attracts the Libra man has lots of class but isn’t too formal at the wrong times. She can be sort of sophisticated but not terribly stuck-up, sort of picky but not too particular, or any one of a number of contradicting categories, as long as she is utterly sincere in her attentions and has no hidden agendas for the relationship. To Seduce a Libra Woman The type of man who attracts a Libra woman is charming, polite, and well dressed -- it also helps if he’s good looking, romantic, and a bit old-fashioned as well. They tend to respond to mental and verbal flirtations more so than the crude physical kinds. To Seduce a Scorpio Man The type of woman who attracts the emotionally volatile Scorpio man is very vital, passionate, and intense. They rend to go for dynamic and powerful types of women who aren’t indecisive, weak willed pushovers. To Seduce a Scorpio Woman Scorpio women prefer a man who appears intense or inscrutable, and has a kind of magnetic charisma about him that hints at smoldering sexuality and unexplored depths of unbridled passion. To Seduce a Sagittarius man Sagittarius men like the type of woman who is honest, direct, and reliable -- basically a lover who is also a friend. They like a woman who's playful one minute, and philosophical the next, but always happy. To Seduce a Sagittarius Woman The man who attracts a Sagittarius woman is one who displays high moral and ethical standards, and lives up to their ideals of honesty and integrity. They want honesty, friendship, and fun from a potential mate. To Seduce a Capricorn Man The type of woman who attracts a Capricorn man is socially acceptable and somewhat formal or aloof -- not to mention quite serious about success and status. To Seduce a Capricorn Woman Capricorn women are after a man who seems serious, aloof, and detached, and somehow projects an inscrutable personal aura. They want a man who's ambitious and socially acceptable, and they are drawn to money, status, and power. To Seduce an Aquarius Man The type of woman who attracts an Aquarius man is intelligent, independent, free spirited, and a good conversationalist. Should she keep him guessing, or be a bit unconventional, she'll fascinate him, but if she's too emotional, he'll pass. To Seduce a an Aquarius Woman The type of man who attracts the Aquarius woman is intellectually interesting, logical, open-minded, and willing to experiment. A man with ideas and insights fascinates them to no end. Aquarius women are even more attracted if he seems unconventional or unpredictable or just unusual in some way. To Seduce a Pisces Man The type of woman who attracts the withdrawn Pisces man is romantic and emotional, sensitive and passive. Should she be intriguing or mysterious or able to make him feel secure, she could be just the one for him. Pisces men are fond of secret love affairs, as well as people who need help or emotional support. To Seduce a Pisces Woman The Pisces woman is after a man who is romantic, sensitive and either an imaginative dreamer or just lost and confused. The idea of a secret love affair can excite and entice her, and mystery intrigues her. You can also develop your own Tarot and psychic reading ability to find the solution to your specific questions. The simplest way to develop your psychic ability is through listening to your intuitive voice. For example, you can do your own Tarot card reading, and then ask yourself what these cards really mean. Trust your own psychic ESP! After all, no one can be a better Tarot reader than yourself.
"How to Seduce the 12 Horoscope Signs" was written by Elaine Fung. Elaine Fung is an expert in horoscopes and psychic subjects. In this article she provides us with useful tips to seduce any person we like just by knowing his zodiac sign. This is a public article, so, please feel free to use our content and give credit by linking back to us.
How to Seduce the 12 Horoscope Signs
Follow the advices and attract the person you desire. The following advices are quite general. You can consult Tarot or psychic for personal questions. To Seduce an Aries Man The type of woman who can attract an Aries man is one that demonstrates a sense of independence and is bold, adventurous, or spontaneous. They'll respect the freedom of a woman like this. They admire strength and courage. Aries men enjoy a challenge, and may find it enjoyable to be seduced by an assertive woman, while offering sufficient resistance to make it interesting. To Seduce an Aries Woman The type of man who attracts an Aries woman is brash and bold, daring and direct, and has a sense of adventure. They are drawn to macho types or men in uniform. They seek competition and challenges, so they prefer authoritative men who are hard to get. Aries women are attracted to winners, in sports or business or any form of competition. Seduction of Taurus Taurus man prefers a woman who is cute, cuddly, calm and comfortable, and shows affection with caresses and kisses. They prefer women who are easy-going, earthy and sensuous, and not too independent or energetic. To Seduce a Taurus Woman The type of man who attracts a Taurus woman is the classic strong and silent type. Men who are down-to-earth appeal to her, and it may be important to her that he likes animals or nature in general. A man who can cook, cuddle, and care for her physical comforts is of great interest to her. To Seduce a Gemini men Gemini men are attracted to women who are clever and changeable and can keep them guessing. They can be drawn to average looking women who are witty and interesting, and certainly more than to the beautiful but dull sort. To Seduce Gemini Woman The right man for the Gemini woman is clever and changeable, and a great conversationalist. Communication is very important to her, so the man who can share information and ideas is sure to be well regarded. To Seduce a Cancer Man The type of woman who attracts a Cancer man is one who will comfort and care for them. A woman who feeds a Cancer man and makes him feel loved may soon see them sharing her home, since home is where they most want to feel wanted and cherished and comforted. To Seduce a Cancer Woman The right man for the Cancer woman is protective, security-conscious, sensitive, and understanding. If she finds that he makes her feel safe and secure, she’ll feel herself drawn to him. To Seduce a Leo Man The type of woman who attracts the Leo man is one that they can feel proud to be seen with -- one who makes them look good just by having her on his arm. A woman who is gorgeous or dramatic or regal or aloof turns them on. To Seduce a Leo Woman The right man for the job of taming the Leo lioness is one who radiates warmth and shows his affection in a physical way. They are even more interested if he happens to be rich or famous or powerful or gorgeous (or all of the above) so that she can share the spotlight with her new love. To Seduce a Virgo Man The type of woman who attracts the Virgo man in search of company always appears well groomed and conservatively dressed -- and, above all, has an air of propriety. They are very particular, and desire nothing short of perfection in their potential mates, which can leave them out in the cold more often than not. To Seduce a Virgo Woman The type of man who attracts the Virgo woman is intelligent, impeccably mannered and groomed, practical, and reliable. Neatness and cleanliness are the single most important factors here for the approval of a Virgo lady. To Seduce a Libra Man The type of woman who attracts the Libra man has lots of class but isn’t too formal at the wrong times. She can be sort of sophisticated but not terribly stuck-up, sort of picky but not too particular, or any one of a number of contradicting categories, as long as she is utterly sincere in her attentions and has no hidden agendas for the relationship. To Seduce a Libra Woman The type of man who attracts a Libra woman is charming, polite, and well dressed -- it also helps if he’s good looking, romantic, and a bit old-fashioned as well. They tend to respond to mental and verbal flirtations more so than the crude physical kinds. To Seduce a Scorpio Man The type of woman who attracts the emotionally volatile Scorpio man is very vital, passionate, and intense. They rend to go for dynamic and powerful types of women who aren’t indecisive, weak willed pushovers. To Seduce a Scorpio Woman Scorpio women prefer a man who appears intense or inscrutable, and has a kind of magnetic charisma about him that hints at smoldering sexuality and unexplored depths of unbridled passion. To Seduce a Sagittarius man Sagittarius men like the type of woman who is honest, direct, and reliable -- basically a lover who is also a friend. They like a woman who's playful one minute, and philosophical the next, but always happy. To Seduce a Sagittarius Woman The man who attracts a Sagittarius woman is one who displays high moral and ethical standards, and lives up to their ideals of honesty and integrity. They want honesty, friendship, and fun from a potential mate. To Seduce a Capricorn Man The type of woman who attracts a Capricorn man is socially acceptable and somewhat formal or aloof -- not to mention quite serious about success and status. To Seduce a Capricorn Woman Capricorn women are after a man who seems serious, aloof, and detached, and somehow projects an inscrutable personal aura. They want a man who's ambitious and socially acceptable, and they are drawn to money, status, and power. To Seduce an Aquarius Man The type of woman who attracts an Aquarius man is intelligent, independent, free spirited, and a good conversationalist. Should she keep him guessing, or be a bit unconventional, she'll fascinate him, but if she's too emotional, he'll pass. To Seduce a an Aquarius Woman The type of man who attracts the Aquarius woman is intellectually interesting, logical, open-minded, and willing to experiment. A man with ideas and insights fascinates them to no end. Aquarius women are even more attracted if he seems unconventional or unpredictable or just unusual in some way. To Seduce a Pisces Man The type of woman who attracts the withdrawn Pisces man is romantic and emotional, sensitive and passive. Should she be intriguing or mysterious or able to make him feel secure, she could be just the one for him. Pisces men are fond of secret love affairs, as well as people who need help or emotional support. To Seduce a Pisces Woman The Pisces woman is after a man who is romantic, sensitive and either an imaginative dreamer or just lost and confused. The idea of a secret love affair can excite and entice her, and mystery intrigues her. You can also develop your own Tarot and psychic reading ability to find the solution to your specific questions. The simplest way to develop your psychic ability is through listening to your intuitive voice. For example, you can do your own Tarot card reading, and then ask yourself what these cards really mean. Trust your own psychic ESP! After all, no one can be a better Tarot reader than yourself.
"How to Seduce the 12 Horoscope Signs" was written by Elaine Fung. Elaine Fung is an expert in horoscopes and psychic subjects. In this article she provides us with useful tips to seduce any person we like just by knowing his zodiac sign. This is a public article, so, please feel free to use our content and give credit by linking back to us.
Follow the advices and attract the person you desire. The following advices are quite general. You can consult Tarot or psychic for personal questions. To Seduce an Aries Man The type of woman who can attract an Aries man is one that demonstrates a sense of independence and is bold, adventurous, or spontaneous. They'll respect the freedom of a woman like this. They admire strength and courage. Aries men enjoy a challenge, and may find it enjoyable to be seduced by an assertive woman, while offering sufficient resistance to make it interesting. Seduction of Taurus Taurus man prefers a woman who is cute, cuddly, calm and comfortable, and shows affection with caresses and kisses. They prefer women who are easy-going, earthy and sensuous, and not too independent or energetic. To Seduce a Gemini men Gemini men are attracted to women who are clever and changeable and can keep them guessing. They can be drawn to average looking women who are witty and interesting, and certainly more than to the beautiful but dull sort. To Seduce a Cancer Man The type of woman who attracts a Cancer man is one who will comfort and care for them. A woman who feeds a Cancer man and makes him feel loved may soon see them sharing her home, since home is where they most want to feel wanted and cherished and comforted. To Seduce a Leo Man The type of woman who attracts the Leo man is one that they can feel proud to be seen with -- one who makes them look good just by having her on his arm. A woman who is gorgeous or dramatic or regal or aloof turns them on. To Seduce a Virgo Man The type of woman who attracts the Virgo man in search of company always appears well groomed and conservatively dressed -- and, above all, has an air of propriety. They are very particular, and desire nothing short of perfection in their potential mates, which can leave them out in the cold more often than not. To Seduce a Libra Man The type of woman who attracts the Libra man has lots of class but isn’t too formal at the wrong times. She can be sort of sophisticated but not terribly stuck-up, sort of picky but not too particular, or any one of a number of contradicting categories, as long as she is utterly sincere in her attentions and has no hidden agendas for the relationship. To Seduce a Scorpio Man The type of woman who attracts the emotionally volatile Scorpio man is very vital, passionate, and intense. They rend to go for dynamic and powerful types of women who aren’t indecisive, weak willed pushovers. To Seduce a Sagittarius man Sagittarius men like the type of woman who is honest, direct, and reliable -- basically a lover who is also a friend. They like a woman who's playful one minute, and philosophical the next, but always happy. To Seduce a Capricorn Man The type of woman who attracts a Capricorn man is socially acceptable and somewhat formal or aloof -- not to mention quite serious about success and status. To Seduce an Aquarius Man The type of woman who attracts an Aquarius man is intelligent, independent, free spirited, and a good conversationalist. Should she keep him guessing, or be a bit unconventional, she'll fascinate him, but if she's too emotional, he'll pass. To Seduce a Pisces Man The type of woman who attracts the withdrawn Pisces man is romantic and emotional, sensitive and passive. Should she be intriguing or mysterious or able to make him feel secure, she could be just the one for him. Pisces men are fond of secret love affairs, as well as people who need help or emotional support. To Seduce an Aries Woman The type of man who attracts an Aries woman is brash and bold, daring and direct, and has a sense of adventure. They are drawn to macho types or men in uniform. They seek competition and challenges, so they prefer authoritative men who are hard to get. Aries women are attracted to winners, in sports or business or any form of competition. To Seduce a Taurus Woman The type of man who attracts a Taurus woman is the classic strong and silent type. Men who are down-to-earth appeal to her, and it may be important to her that he likes animals or nature in general. A man who can cook, cuddle, and care for her physical comforts is of great interest to her. To Seduce Gemini Woman The right man for the Gemini woman is clever and changeable, and a great conversationalist. Communication is very important to her, so the man who can share information and ideas is sure to be well regarded. To Seduce a Cancer Woman The right man for the Cancer woman is protective, security-conscious, sensitive, and understanding. If she finds that he makes her feel safe and secure, she’ll feel herself drawn to him. To Seduce a Leo Woman The right man for the job of taming the Leo lioness is one who radiates warmth and shows his affection in a physical way. They are even more interested if he happens to be rich or famous or powerful or gorgeous (or all of the above) so that she can share the spotlight with her new love. To Seduce a Virgo Woman The type of man who attracts the Virgo woman is intelligent, impeccably mannered and groomed, practical, and reliable. Neatness and cleanliness are the single most important factors here for the approval of a Virgo lady. To Seduce a Libra Woman The type of man who attracts a Libra woman is charming, polite, and well dressed -- it also helps if he’s good looking, romantic, and a bit old-fashioned as well. They tend to respond to mental and verbal flirtations more so than the crude physical kinds. To Seduce a Scorpio Woman Scorpio women prefer a man who appears intense or inscrutable, and has a kind of magnetic charisma about him that hints at smoldering sexuality and unexplored depths of unbridled passion. To Seduce a Sagittarius Woman The man who attracts a Sagittarius woman is one who displays high moral and ethical standards, and lives up to their ideals of honesty and integrity. They want honesty, friendship, and fun from a potential mate. To Seduce a Capricorn Woman Capricorn women are after a man who seems serious, aloof, and detached, and somehow projects an inscrutable personal aura. They want a man who's ambitious and socially acceptable, and they are drawn to money, status, and power. To Seduce a an Aquarius Woman The type of man who attracts the Aquarius woman is intellectually interesting, logical, open-minded, and willing to experiment. A man with ideas and insights fascinates them to no end. Aquarius women are even more attracted if he seems unconventional or unpredictable or just unusual in some way. To Seduce a Pisces Woman The Pisces woman is after a man who is romantic, sensitive and either an imaginative dreamer or just lost and confused. The idea of a secret love affair can excite and entice her, and mystery intrigues her. You can also develop your own Tarot and psychic reading ability to find the solution to your specific questions. The simplest way to develop your psychic ability is through listening to your intuitive voice. For example, you can do your own Tarot card reading, and then ask yourself what these cards really mean. Trust your own psychic ESP! After all, no one can be a better Tarot reader than yourself.
"How to Seduce the 12 Horoscope Signs" was written by Elaine Fung. Elaine Fung is an expert in horoscopes and psychic subjects. In this article she provides us with useful tips to seduce any person we like just by knowing his zodiac sign. This is a public article, so, please feel free to use our content and give credit by linking back to us.
Mirror and Matching; The Basis of Rapport and Communication Skills!
Can you remember a time when you met someone for the first time and it just seems to click? An instant bond between the two of you, an instant ‘like-ability’ or trust. You can literally FEEL, that connection! That connection is called Rapport! It is the basis and foundation for every meaningful interaction between two or more people. Rapport is about establishing an environment of trust and understanding, to respect and honor the other person’s world. This allows the person the freedom to fully express their ideas and feelings and know they’ll be respected and appreciated by you. Rapport creates the space for the person to feel listened and responded to, even when you dis-agree with what the other person says or does. Each person appreciates the other’s viewpoint and respects their model of the world. When you are in rapport with another person, you have the opportunity to enter their world and see things from their perspective, feel the way they do, get a better understanding of where they are coming from; and as a result, enhance the whole relationship. A 1970 study conducted by Dr. Ray Birdwhistle at the University of Pennsylvania concluded that 93% of our communication transpires non-verbally and unconscious. 55% of our communication is our physiology or body language, 38% is tonality or HOW we say our words, and only 7% is the content or words we choose to speak. Researchers at the Boston University Medical School studied films of people having conversations. The researchers noticed that the people talking began (unconsciously) to co-ordinate their movements (including finger movements, eye blinks and head nods.) When they were being monitored using electroencephalographs, they found some of their brain waves were spiking at the same moment also. As the conversations progressed, these people were getting into a deeper level rapport with each other, and didn’t even have a clue to what was going on, this is because we communicate our ideas and concepts at this 93% UN-conscious level, but believe the words we speak actually hold the meaning to our communication. NLP rapport skills teach us how to communicate at that unconscious level. Mirroring, matching, pacing and leading skills will enable you to become "like" the other person. Anthony Robbins stated: “People like each other when they tend to be like each other.” NLP teaches how to mirror and match that 55% physiology, 38% tonality and 7% predicates or process words. The key to establishing rapport is an ability to enter another person’s world by assuming a similar state of mind. The first thing to do is to become more like the other person by matching and mirroring the person’s behaviors -- body language, voice, words etc. Matching and mirroring is a powerful way of getting an appreciation of how the other person is seeing/experiencing the world. Some people find the idea of matching another person uncomfortable and they feel that they are trying to fool or take advantage of the other person. To overcome this uneasiness, realize that matching is a natural part of the rapport building process and that you are doing it unconsciously every day with your close family and friends. Each day gradually increase your conscious use of matching at a pace that is comfortable and ethical for you. Matching done with integrity and respect creates positive feelings and responses in you and others. Rapport is the ability to enter someone else’s world, to make him feel you understand him, and that there is a strong connection between the two of you. The purpose of the following exercises is to provide some experience with the basic processes and procedures of modeling. They primarily focus on the information gathering phase of the modeling process, and cover a range of modeling skills, including "implicit" and "explicit" modeling formats, and the use of multiple perceptual positions to gather different types and levels of information about a particular performance. Mirroring Exercise Mirroring is a method of building a strong "second position" with someone else. It is a fundamental skill for modeling another person and for developing intuitions about the person's internal experience. To get a sense of the influence and effects of mirroring, try out the following exercise. 1. Choose a partner, or person to converse with. Do not tell the person initially that you will be mirroring him or her during the conversation. 2. Enter into a conversation with the person, asking for his or her opinions about various subjects. 3. As you are conversing, begin to subtly mirror the other person's physiology (including voice tone and tempo). [Hint: This can be most easily done in the context of 'active listening'; that is, reflecting back statements the person has made, by commenting, "So what you are saying is....", and then stating your understanding of the person's opinion.] 4. When you are fully mirroring, you will be sitting in the same posture, using the same types of gestures, speaking at a similar speed and volume, and in a similar voice tone range, as the other person. If you are completely mirroring the other person, you may even be breathing at the same rate and pattern as the other. Notice how it feels when you have reached this level of deep rapport. 5. One way to test your degree of rapport is by "second guessing" the other person's opinion on a couple of subjects that you have not yet discussed. Often mirroring will give you access to information that is being unconsciously communicated and received, and you will "pick up" information about the other person without being consciously aware of how you got it. This is why mirroring is such a powerful tool for modeling. 6. To get another sense of the influence mirroring and matching has on your interaction; try out abruptly mismatching the other person, in posture, gestures, voice tone and breathing. Both you and your partner should experience quite a jolt if you do this, and feel as if your quality of rapport has changed dramatically. 7. Before concluding your conversation and letting your partner in on what you were doing, make sure you have reestablished rapport by once again physically mirroring your partner. One way to help rapport to develop is to mirror the micro-behaviors of those we wish to influence. Any observable behavior can be mirrored, for example: Body posture Spinal alignment Hand gestures Head tilt Blink rate Facial expression Energy level Breathing rate Vocal qualities (volume, tonality, rhythm) Key word phrases or predicates Anything else that you can observe… To mirror another person, merely select the behavior or quality you wish to mirror, and then do that behavior. If you choose to mirror head tilt, when the person moves their head, wait a few moments, then move yours to the same angle. The effect should be as though the other person is looking in a mirror. To mirror a person who has raised his right hand, you would raise your left hand (i.e. mirror image). To match this same person, you would raise your right-hand (doing exactly the same as the other person). Some practitioners see a time difference between mirroring and matching. For example, if someone makes hand gestures while they are speaking, you would wait until it was your turn to speak before making similar (matching) hand gestures. The fact that you've read this far means that you can see the benefits of increasing your rapport skills. Reading is sadly not enough - practice is the key to building skill, so do the exercises. When you first start the practice of mirroring, you may have to pay some conscious attention to what you're doing. After a while, however, you will start to catch yourself doing it unconsciously. This is where you really begin to build rapport elegantly! And at times when a gesture is idiosyncratic to that person or otherwise to obvious, you can do crossover matching. Meaning, if they adjust their glasses, and you don't wear any, then just move your foot. When you crossover match/mirror, you match/mirror a portion of the other person's body, with a different portion of your own body. This is best to do when you are matching someone's rate of breathing. You can use your finger to pace the rhythm of their breath. When matching or mirroring someone's voice, do that with their tonality, volume, and the rate at which they speak. And remember you don't have to do all of these things, just one or two will be enough to create rapport in most cases. Skilled communicators have a wide range of behaviors they can mirror to build rapport. You can find a way to mirror virtually anything you can observe. When this is done elegantly, it is out of consciousness for the other person. • However, a few notes of caution are appropriate: • Mirroring is not the same as mimicry. • It should be subtle and respectful. • Mirroring can lead to you sharing the other person's experience. • Avoid mirroring people who are in distress or who have severe mental issues. • Mirroring builds a deep sense of trust quickly, so use it with responsibility. Practice with friends and family members to start and begin to match different aspects of their posture, gestures, voice and words. Have fun with it and notice if they begin to respond to your matching. At work or social events, start by matching one specific behavior, and once they and you feel comfortable, begin to add on another. With people whom you already have a sense of rapport, notice how often you naturally match their posture, gestures, tone of voice or words, This is because matching and mirroring comes naturally. Your outcome then should be to create rapport with anyone at any given moment, having it become automatic whenever you wish to deepen that sense of rapport. Exercise 1 Practice mirroring the micro-behaviors of people on television (chat shows & interviews are ideal.) You may be surprised at how quickly you can become comfortable as you subtly mirror the behaviors of others. Exercise 2 Choose a safe situation to practice mirroring an element of someone else's behavior. When you have mirrored them for a while, and think you are in rapport with the person, scratch your nose. If they lift their hand to their face within the next minute or so, congratulate yourself - you have led their behavior! Exercise 3 Increase the range of behaviors that you can mirror, and introduce deliberate rapport-building into situations where it will benefit you and others. Use your common sense and choose low-risk situations to practice in.) Exercise 4 During a conversation with another person; choose one of their behaviors (e.g. breathing rate) to cross-over match with one of your behaviors (e.g. speaking rate.) Notice how quickly the sense of connection develops! Backtracking is another excellent skill to learn in order to maintain and deepen rapport. When you are in conversation with another person, whether it be business or personal, take the opportunity to recite back to the person the information you’re receiving. This lets the person know that you were listening and you understand without judgment. It also allows you a chance to ensure your understanding and/or ask for clarification. Backtracking is the thread that tightens and deepens rapport. Backtracking is repeating back the essence, not verbatim, of what the person is attempting to communicate. There will be times when you’re backtracking, and the other person will add on or correct you. Being corrected will only strengthen rapport because you’ll then backtrack again and have the person really feel you understand. There is also the possibility being corrected will cause you to lose rapport. However, losing rapport is just like losing your balance. You falter, recover, and get back into it again. When you do lose rapport you’ll find a way to regain it. There may also be times you want to be "out" of rapport with someone. For example if it isn't healthy for you to be around certain people, you are held hostage at a cocktail party or you are doing it for effect. Typically people think the way to break rapport is to be demeaning or disagree. Although that may work I recommend mismatching. This means intentionally mismatch posture, breathing, key words/gestures, and voice quality. Rely on mismatching the nonverbal communication and you will be out of rapport. For those of you who like experiments try this: Disagree strongly and maintain rapport. Or agree completely while breaking rapport. And all experimenting should be done in a non-critical environment without judgment. The key element in establishing, building, deepening and maintaining rapport is your ability to pay attention to the responses you receive. One presupposition of NLP, or assumed rules is; “Communication is the response we receive back, NOT our intention given.”
John James Santangelo C.Ht. nationally acclaimed speaker, seminar leader, and success coach has been a guiding force in empowering individuals, businesses, and corporations to excel at peak performance. Working with companies such as Learning Annex, CSUN-Northridge University, Mary Kay Inc, Well Point, Xerox, RE/MAX Realtors, the Teamsters Union, and the US Army counter-intelligence team. Whether you’re looking to fulfill short-term goals, meeting planner events, or corporate sales/communication trainings, John can help you achieve a new level of success! He is the author of Asking The Right Questions…” For more information on Successful Communication Skills, email Info@JohnSantangelo.com or www.JohnSantangelo.com
How to Seduce the 12 Horoscope Signs
Follow the advices and attract the person you desire. The following advices are quite general. You can consult Tarot or psychic for personal questions. To Seduce an Aries Man The type of woman who can attract an Aries man is one that demonstrates a sense of independence and is bold, adventurous, or spontaneous. They'll respect the freedom of a woman like this. They admire strength and courage. Aries men enjoy a challenge, and may find it enjoyable to be seduced by an assertive woman, while offering sufficient resistance to make it interesting. To Seduce an Aries Woman The type of man who attracts an Aries woman is brash and bold, daring and direct, and has a sense of adventure. They are drawn to macho types or men in uniform. They seek competition and challenges, so they prefer authoritative men who are hard to get. Aries women are attracted to winners, in sports or business or any form of competition. Seduction of Taurus Taurus man prefers a woman who is cute, cuddly, calm and comfortable, and shows affection with caresses and kisses. They prefer women who are easy-going, earthy and sensuous, and not too independent or energetic. To Seduce a Taurus Woman The type of man who attracts a Taurus woman is the classic strong and silent type. Men who are down-to-earth appeal to her, and it may be important to her that he likes animals or nature in general. A man who can cook, cuddle, and care for her physical comforts is of great interest to her. To Seduce a Gemini men Gemini men are attracted to women who are clever and changeable and can keep them guessing. They can be drawn to average looking women who are witty and interesting, and certainly more than to the beautiful but dull sort. To Seduce Gemini Woman The right man for the Gemini woman is clever and changeable, and a great conversationalist. Communication is very important to her, so the man who can share information and ideas is sure to be well regarded. To Seduce a Cancer Man The type of woman who attracts a Cancer man is one who will comfort and care for them. A woman who feeds a Cancer man and makes him feel loved may soon see them sharing her home, since home is where they most want to feel wanted and cherished and comforted. To Seduce a Cancer Woman The right man for the Cancer woman is protective, security-conscious, sensitive, and understanding. If she finds that he makes her feel safe and secure, she’ll feel herself drawn to him. To Seduce a Leo Man The type of woman who attracts the Leo man is one that they can feel proud to be seen with -- one who makes them look good just by having her on his arm. A woman who is gorgeous or dramatic or regal or aloof turns them on. To Seduce a Leo Woman The right man for the job of taming the Leo lioness is one who radiates warmth and shows his affection in a physical way. They are even more interested if he happens to be rich or famous or powerful or gorgeous (or all of the above) so that she can share the spotlight with her new love. To Seduce a Virgo Man The type of woman who attracts the Virgo man in search of company always appears well groomed and conservatively dressed -- and, above all, has an air of propriety. They are very particular, and desire nothing short of perfection in their potential mates, which can leave them out in the cold more often than not. To Seduce a Virgo Woman The type of man who attracts the Virgo woman is intelligent, impeccably mannered and groomed, practical, and reliable. Neatness and cleanliness are the single most important factors here for the approval of a Virgo lady. To Seduce a Libra Man The type of woman who attracts the Libra man has lots of class but isn’t too formal at the wrong times. She can be sort of sophisticated but not terribly stuck-up, sort of picky but not too particular, or any one of a number of contradicting categories, as long as she is utterly sincere in her attentions and has no hidden agendas for the relationship. To Seduce a Libra Woman The type of man who attracts a Libra woman is charming, polite, and well dressed -- it also helps if he’s good looking, romantic, and a bit old-fashioned as well. They tend to respond to mental and verbal flirtations more so than the crude physical kinds. To Seduce a Scorpio Man The type of woman who attracts the emotionally volatile Scorpio man is very vital, passionate, and intense. They rend to go for dynamic and powerful types of women who aren’t indecisive, weak willed pushovers. To Seduce a Scorpio Woman Scorpio women prefer a man who appears intense or inscrutable, and has a kind of magnetic charisma about him that hints at smoldering sexuality and unexplored depths of unbridled passion. To Seduce a Sagittarius man Sagittarius men like the type of woman who is honest, direct, and reliable -- basically a lover who is also a friend. They like a woman who's playful one minute, and philosophical the next, but always happy. To Seduce a Sagittarius Woman The man who attracts a Sagittarius woman is one who displays high moral and ethical standards, and lives up to their ideals of honesty and integrity. They want honesty, friendship, and fun from a potential mate. To Seduce a Capricorn Man The type of woman who attracts a Capricorn man is socially acceptable and somewhat formal or aloof -- not to mention quite serious about success and status. To Seduce a Capricorn Woman Capricorn women are after a man who seems serious, aloof, and detached, and somehow projects an inscrutable personal aura. They want a man who's ambitious and socially acceptable, and they are drawn to money, status, and power. To Seduce an Aquarius Man The type of woman who attracts an Aquarius man is intelligent, independent, free spirited, and a good conversationalist. Should she keep him guessing, or be a bit unconventional, she'll fascinate him, but if she's too emotional, he'll pass. To Seduce a an Aquarius Woman The type of man who attracts the Aquarius woman is intellectually interesting, logical, open-minded, and willing to experiment. A man with ideas and insights fascinates them to no end. Aquarius women are even more attracted if he seems unconventional or unpredictable or just unusual in some way. To Seduce a Pisces Man The type of woman who attracts the withdrawn Pisces man is romantic and emotional, sensitive and passive. Should she be intriguing or mysterious or able to make him feel secure, she could be just the one for him. Pisces men are fond of secret love affairs, as well as people who need help or emotional support. To Seduce a Pisces Woman The Pisces woman is after a man who is romantic, sensitive and either an imaginative dreamer or just lost and confused. The idea of a secret love affair can excite and entice her, and mystery intrigues her. You can also develop your own Tarot and psychic reading ability to find the solution to your specific questions. The simplest way to develop your psychic ability is through listening to your intuitive voice. For example, you can do your own Tarot card reading, and then ask yourself what these cards really mean. Trust your own psychic ESP! After all, no one can be a better Tarot reader than yourself.
"How to Seduce the 12 Horoscope Signs" was written by Elaine Fung. Elaine Fung is an expert in horoscopes and psychic subjects. In this article she provides us with useful tips to seduce any person we like just by knowing his zodiac sign. This is a public article, so, please feel free to use our content and give credit by linking back to us.
How to Seduce the 12 Horoscope Signs
Follow the advices and attract the person you desire. The following advices are quite general. You can consult Tarot or psychic for personal questions. To Seduce an Aries Man The type of woman who can attract an Aries man is one that demonstrates a sense of independence and is bold, adventurous, or spontaneous. They'll respect the freedom of a woman like this. They admire strength and courage. Aries men enjoy a challenge, and may find it enjoyable to be seduced by an assertive woman, while offering sufficient resistance to make it interesting. To Seduce an Aries Woman The type of man who attracts an Aries woman is brash and bold, daring and direct, and has a sense of adventure. They are drawn to macho types or men in uniform. They seek competition and challenges, so they prefer authoritative men who are hard to get. Aries women are attracted to winners, in sports or business or any form of competition. Seduction of Taurus Taurus man prefers a woman who is cute, cuddly, calm and comfortable, and shows affection with caresses and kisses. They prefer women who are easy-going, earthy and sensuous, and not too independent or energetic. To Seduce a Taurus Woman The type of man who attracts a Taurus woman is the classic strong and silent type. Men who are down-to-earth appeal to her, and it may be important to her that he likes animals or nature in general. A man who can cook, cuddle, and care for her physical comforts is of great interest to her. To Seduce a Gemini men Gemini men are attracted to women who are clever and changeable and can keep them guessing. They can be drawn to average looking women who are witty and interesting, and certainly more than to the beautiful but dull sort. To Seduce Gemini Woman The right man for the Gemini woman is clever and changeable, and a great conversationalist. Communication is very important to her, so the man who can share information and ideas is sure to be well regarded. To Seduce a Cancer Man The type of woman who attracts a Cancer man is one who will comfort and care for them. A woman who feeds a Cancer man and makes him feel loved may soon see them sharing her home, since home is where they most want to feel wanted and cherished and comforted. To Seduce a Cancer Woman The right man for the Cancer woman is protective, security-conscious, sensitive, and understanding. If she finds that he makes her feel safe and secure, she’ll feel herself drawn to him. To Seduce a Leo Man The type of woman who attracts the Leo man is one that they can feel proud to be seen with -- one who makes them look good just by having her on his arm. A woman who is gorgeous or dramatic or regal or aloof turns them on. To Seduce a Leo Woman The right man for the job of taming the Leo lioness is one who radiates warmth and shows his affection in a physical way. They are even more interested if he happens to be rich or famous or powerful or gorgeous (or all of the above) so that she can share the spotlight with her new love. To Seduce a Virgo Man The type of woman who attracts the Virgo man in search of company always appears well groomed and conservatively dressed -- and, above all, has an air of propriety. They are very particular, and desire nothing short of perfection in their potential mates, which can leave them out in the cold more often than not. To Seduce a Virgo Woman The type of man who attracts the Virgo woman is intelligent, impeccably mannered and groomed, practical, and reliable. Neatness and cleanliness are the single most important factors here for the approval of a Virgo lady. To Seduce a Libra Man The type of woman who attracts the Libra man has lots of class but isn’t too formal at the wrong times. She can be sort of sophisticated but not terribly stuck-up, sort of picky but not too particular, or any one of a number of contradicting categories, as long as she is utterly sincere in her attentions and has no hidden agendas for the relationship. To Seduce a Libra Woman The type of man who attracts a Libra woman is charming, polite, and well dressed -- it also helps if he’s good looking, romantic, and a bit old-fashioned as well. They tend to respond to mental and verbal flirtations more so than the crude physical kinds. To Seduce a Scorpio Man The type of woman who attracts the emotionally volatile Scorpio man is very vital, passionate, and intense. They rend to go for dynamic and powerful types of women who aren’t indecisive, weak willed pushovers. To Seduce a Scorpio Woman Scorpio women prefer a man who appears intense or inscrutable, and has a kind of magnetic charisma about him that hints at smoldering sexuality and unexplored depths of unbridled passion. To Seduce a Sagittarius man Sagittarius men like the type of woman who is honest, direct, and reliable -- basically a lover who is also a friend. They like a woman who's playful one minute, and philosophical the next, but always happy. To Seduce a Sagittarius Woman The man who attracts a Sagittarius woman is one who displays high moral and ethical standards, and lives up to their ideals of honesty and integrity. They want honesty, friendship, and fun from a potential mate. To Seduce a Capricorn Man The type of woman who attracts a Capricorn man is socially acceptable and somewhat formal or aloof -- not to mention quite serious about success and status. To Seduce a Capricorn Woman Capricorn women are after a man who seems serious, aloof, and detached, and somehow projects an inscrutable personal aura. They want a man who's ambitious and socially acceptable, and they are drawn to money, status, and power. To Seduce an Aquarius Man The type of woman who attracts an Aquarius man is intelligent, independent, free spirited, and a good conversationalist. Should she keep him guessing, or be a bit unconventional, she'll fascinate him, but if she's too emotional, he'll pass. To Seduce a an Aquarius Woman The type of man who attracts the Aquarius woman is intellectually interesting, logical, open-minded, and willing to experiment. A man with ideas and insights fascinates them to no end. Aquarius women are even more attracted if he seems unconventional or unpredictable or just unusual in some way. To Seduce a Pisces Man The type of woman who attracts the withdrawn Pisces man is romantic and emotional, sensitive and passive. Should she be intriguing or mysterious or able to make him feel secure, she could be just the one for him. Pisces men are fond of secret love affairs, as well as people who need help or emotional support. To Seduce a Pisces Woman The Pisces woman is after a man who is romantic, sensitive and either an imaginative dreamer or just lost and confused. The idea of a secret love affair can excite and entice her, and mystery intrigues her. You can also develop your own Tarot and psychic reading ability to find the solution to your specific questions. The simplest way to develop your psychic ability is through listening to your intuitive voice. For example, you can do your own Tarot card reading, and then ask yourself what these cards really mean. Trust your own psychic ESP! After all, no one can be a better Tarot reader than yourself.
"How to Seduce the 12 Horoscope Signs" was written by Elaine Fung. Elaine Fung is an expert in horoscopes and psychic subjects. In this article she provides us with useful tips to seduce any person we like just by knowing his zodiac sign. This is a public article, so, please feel free to use our content and give credit by linking back to us.
Maria Duval - Mirror and Matching; The Basis of Rapport and Communication Skills!
Mirror and Matching; The Basis of Rapport and Communication Skills!
Can you remember a time when you met someone for the first time and it just seems to click? An instant bond between the two of you, an instant ‘like-ability’ or trust. You can literally FEEL, that connection! That connection is called Rapport! It is the basis and foundation for every meaningful interaction between two or more people. Rapport is about establishing an environment of trust and understanding, to respect and honor the other person’s world. This allows the person the freedom to fully express their ideas and feelings and know they’ll be respected and appreciated by you. Rapport creates the space for the person to feel listened and responded to, even when you dis-agree with what the other person says or does. Each person appreciates the other’s viewpoint and respects their model of the world. When you are in rapport with another person, you have the opportunity to enter their world and see things from their perspective, feel the way they do, get a better understanding of where they are coming from; and as a result, enhance the whole relationship. A 1970 study conducted by Dr. Ray Birdwhistle at the University of Pennsylvania concluded that 93% of our communication transpires non-verbally and unconscious. 55% of our communication is our physiology or body language, 38% is tonality or HOW we say our words, and only 7% is the content or words we choose to speak. Researchers at the Boston University Medical School studied films of people having conversations. The researchers noticed that the people talking began (unconsciously) to co-ordinate their movements (including finger movements, eye blinks and head nods.) When they were being monitored using electroencephalographs, they found some of their brain waves were spiking at the same moment also. As the conversations progressed, these people were getting into a deeper level rapport with each other, and didn’t even have a clue to what was going on, this is because we communicate our ideas and concepts at this 93% UN-conscious level, but believe the words we speak actually hold the meaning to our communication. NLP rapport skills teach us how to communicate at that unconscious level. Mirroring, matching, pacing and leading skills will enable you to become "like" the other person. Anthony Robbins stated: “People like each other when they tend to be like each other.” NLP teaches how to mirror and match that 55% physiology, 38% tonality and 7% predicates or process words. The key to establishing rapport is an ability to enter another person’s world by assuming a similar state of mind. The first thing to do is to become more like the other person by matching and mirroring the person’s behaviors -- body language, voice, words etc. Matching and mirroring is a powerful way of getting an appreciation of how the other person is seeing/experiencing the world. Some people find the idea of matching another person uncomfortable and they feel that they are trying to fool or take advantage of the other person. To overcome this uneasiness, realize that matching is a natural part of the rapport building process and that you are doing it unconsciously every day with your close family and friends. Each day gradually increase your conscious use of matching at a pace that is comfortable and ethical for you. Matching done with integrity and respect creates positive feelings and responses in you and others. Rapport is the ability to enter someone else’s world, to make him feel you understand him, and that there is a strong connection between the two of you. The purpose of the following exercises is to provide some experience with the basic processes and procedures of modeling. They primarily focus on the information gathering phase of the modeling process, and cover a range of modeling skills, including "implicit" and "explicit" modeling formats, and the use of multiple perceptual positions to gather different types and levels of information about a particular performance. Mirroring Exercise Mirroring is a method of building a strong "second position" with someone else. It is a fundamental skill for modeling another person and for developing intuitions about the person's internal experience. To get a sense of the influence and effects of mirroring, try out the following exercise. 1. Choose a partner, or person to converse with. Do not tell the person initially that you will be mirroring him or her during the conversation. 2. Enter into a conversation with the person, asking for his or her opinions about various subjects. 3. As you are conversing, begin to subtly mirror the other person's physiology (including voice tone and tempo). [Hint: This can be most easily done in the context of 'active listening'; that is, reflecting back statements the person has made, by commenting, "So what you are saying is....", and then stating your understanding of the person's opinion.] 4. When you are fully mirroring, you will be sitting in the same posture, using the same types of gestures, speaking at a similar speed and volume, and in a similar voice tone range, as the other person. If you are completely mirroring the other person, you may even be breathing at the same rate and pattern as the other. Notice how it feels when you have reached this level of deep rapport. 5. One way to test your degree of rapport is by "second guessing" the other person's opinion on a couple of subjects that you have not yet discussed. Often mirroring will give you access to information that is being unconsciously communicated and received, and you will "pick up" information about the other person without being consciously aware of how you got it. This is why mirroring is such a powerful tool for modeling. 6. To get another sense of the influence mirroring and matching has on your interaction; try out abruptly mismatching the other person, in posture, gestures, voice tone and breathing. Both you and your partner should experience quite a jolt if you do this, and feel as if your quality of rapport has changed dramatically. 7. Before concluding your conversation and letting your partner in on what you were doing, make sure you have reestablished rapport by once again physically mirroring your partner. One way to help rapport to develop is to mirror the micro-behaviors of those we wish to influence. Any observable behavior can be mirrored, for example: Body posture Spinal alignment Hand gestures Head tilt Blink rate Facial expression Energy level Breathing rate Vocal qualities (volume, tonality, rhythm) Key word phrases or predicates Anything else that you can observe… To mirror another person, merely select the behavior or quality you wish to mirror, and then do that behavior. If you choose to mirror head tilt, when the person moves their head, wait a few moments, then move yours to the same angle. The effect should be as though the other person is looking in a mirror. To mirror a person who has raised his right hand, you would raise your left hand (i.e. mirror image). To match this same person, you would raise your right-hand (doing exactly the same as the other person). Some practitioners see a time difference between mirroring and matching. For example, if someone makes hand gestures while they are speaking, you would wait until it was your turn to speak before making similar (matching) hand gestures. The fact that you've read this far means that you can see the benefits of increasing your rapport skills. Reading is sadly not enough - practice is the key to building skill, so do the exercises. When you first start the practice of mirroring, you may have to pay some conscious attention to what you're doing. After a while, however, you will start to catch yourself doing it unconsciously. This is where you really begin to build rapport elegantly! And at times when a gesture is idiosyncratic to that person or otherwise to obvious, you can do crossover matching. Meaning, if they adjust their glasses, and you don't wear any, then just move your foot. When you crossover match/mirror, you match/mirror a portion of the other person's body, with a different portion of your own body. This is best to do when you are matching someone's rate of breathing. You can use your finger to pace the rhythm of their breath. When matching or mirroring someone's voice, do that with their tonality, volume, and the rate at which they speak. And remember you don't have to do all of these things, just one or two will be enough to create rapport in most cases. Skilled communicators have a wide range of behaviors they can mirror to build rapport. You can find a way to mirror virtually anything you can observe. When this is done elegantly, it is out of consciousness for the other person. • However, a few notes of caution are appropriate: • Mirroring is not the same as mimicry. • It should be subtle and respectful. • Mirroring can lead to you sharing the other person's experience. • Avoid mirroring people who are in distress or who have severe mental issues. • Mirroring builds a deep sense of trust quickly, so use it with responsibility. Practice with friends and family members to start and begin to match different aspects of their posture, gestures, voice and words. Have fun with it and notice if they begin to respond to your matching. At work or social events, start by matching one specific behavior, and once they and you feel comfortable, begin to add on another. With people whom you already have a sense of rapport, notice how often you naturally match their posture, gestures, tone of voice or words, This is because matching and mirroring comes naturally. Your outcome then should be to create rapport with anyone at any given moment, having it become automatic whenever you wish to deepen that sense of rapport. Exercise 1 Practice mirroring the micro-behaviors of people on television (chat shows & interviews are ideal.) You may be surprised at how quickly you can become comfortable as you subtly mirror the behaviors of others. Exercise 2 Choose a safe situation to practice mirroring an element of someone else's behavior. When you have mirrored them for a while, and think you are in rapport with the person, scratch your nose. If they lift their hand to their face within the next minute or so, congratulate yourself - you have led their behavior! Exercise 3 Increase the range of behaviors that you can mirror, and introduce deliberate rapport-building into situations where it will benefit you and others. Use your common sense and choose low-risk situations to practice in.) Exercise 4 During a conversation with another person; choose one of their behaviors (e.g. breathing rate) to cross-over match with one of your behaviors (e.g. speaking rate.) Notice how quickly the sense of connection develops! Backtracking is another excellent skill to learn in order to maintain and deepen rapport. When you are in conversation with another person, whether it be business or personal, take the opportunity to recite back to the person the information you’re receiving. This lets the person know that you were listening and you understand without judgment. It also allows you a chance to ensure your understanding and/or ask for clarification. Backtracking is the thread that tightens and deepens rapport. Backtracking is repeating back the essence, not verbatim, of what the person is attempting to communicate. There will be times when you’re backtracking, and the other person will add on or correct you. Being corrected will only strengthen rapport because you’ll then backtrack again and have the person really feel you understand. There is also the possibility being corrected will cause you to lose rapport. However, losing rapport is just like losing your balance. You falter, recover, and get back into it again. When you do lose rapport you’ll find a way to regain it. There may also be times you want to be "out" of rapport with someone. For example if it isn't healthy for you to be around certain people, you are held hostage at a cocktail party or you are doing it for effect. Typically people think the way to break rapport is to be demeaning or disagree. Although that may work I recommend mismatching. This means intentionally mismatch posture, breathing, key words/gestures, and voice quality. Rely on mismatching the nonverbal communication and you will be out of rapport. For those of you who like experiments try this: Disagree strongly and maintain rapport. Or agree completely while breaking rapport. And all experimenting should be done in a non-critical environment without judgment. The key element in establishing, building, deepening and maintaining rapport is your ability to pay attention to the responses you receive. One presupposition of NLP, or assumed rules is; “Communication is the response we receive back, NOT our intention given.”
John James Santangelo C.Ht. nationally acclaimed speaker, seminar leader, and success coach has been a guiding force in empowering individuals, businesses, and corporations to excel at peak performance. Working with companies such as Learning Annex, CSUN-Northridge University, Mary Kay Inc, Well Point, Xerox, RE/MAX Realtors, the Teamsters Union, and the US Army counter-intelligence team. Whether you’re looking to fulfill short-term goals, meeting planner events, or corporate sales/communication trainings, John can help you achieve a new level of success! He is the author of Asking The Right Questions…” For more information on Successful Communication Skills, email Info@JohnSantangelo.com or www.JohnSantangelo.com
Can you remember a time when you met someone for the first time and it just seems to click? An instant bond between the two of you, an instant ‘like-ability’ or trust. You can literally FEEL, that connection! That connection is called Rapport! It is the basis and foundation for every meaningful interaction between two or more people. Rapport is about establishing an environment of trust and understanding, to respect and honor the other person’s world. This allows the person the freedom to fully express their ideas and feelings and know they’ll be respected and appreciated by you. Rapport creates the space for the person to feel listened and responded to, even when you dis-agree with what the other person says or does. Each person appreciates the other’s viewpoint and respects their model of the world. When you are in rapport with another person, you have the opportunity to enter their world and see things from their perspective, feel the way they do, get a better understanding of where they are coming from; and as a result, enhance the whole relationship. A 1970 study conducted by Dr. Ray Birdwhistle at the University of Pennsylvania concluded that 93% of our communication transpires non-verbally and unconscious. 55% of our communication is our physiology or body language, 38% is tonality or HOW we say our words, and only 7% is the content or words we choose to speak. Researchers at the Boston University Medical School studied films of people having conversations. The researchers noticed that the people talking began (unconsciously) to co-ordinate their movements (including finger movements, eye blinks and head nods.) When they were being monitored using electroencephalographs, they found some of their brain waves were spiking at the same moment also. As the conversations progressed, these people were getting into a deeper level rapport with each other, and didn’t even have a clue to what was going on, this is because we communicate our ideas and concepts at this 93% UN-conscious level, but believe the words we speak actually hold the meaning to our communication. NLP rapport skills teach us how to communicate at that unconscious level. Mirroring, matching, pacing and leading skills will enable you to become "like" the other person. Anthony Robbins stated: “People like each other when they tend to be like each other.” NLP teaches how to mirror and match that 55% physiology, 38% tonality and 7% predicates or process words. The key to establishing rapport is an ability to enter another person’s world by assuming a similar state of mind. The first thing to do is to become more like the other person by matching and mirroring the person’s behaviors -- body language, voice, words etc. Matching and mirroring is a powerful way of getting an appreciation of how the other person is seeing/experiencing the world. Some people find the idea of matching another person uncomfortable and they feel that they are trying to fool or take advantage of the other person. To overcome this uneasiness, realize that matching is a natural part of the rapport building process and that you are doing it unconsciously every day with your close family and friends. Each day gradually increase your conscious use of matching at a pace that is comfortable and ethical for you. Matching done with integrity and respect creates positive feelings and responses in you and others. Rapport is the ability to enter someone else’s world, to make him feel you understand him, and that there is a strong connection between the two of you. The purpose of the following exercises is to provide some experience with the basic processes and procedures of modeling. They primarily focus on the information gathering phase of the modeling process, and cover a range of modeling skills, including "implicit" and "explicit" modeling formats, and the use of multiple perceptual positions to gather different types and levels of information about a particular performance. Mirroring Exercise Mirroring is a method of building a strong "second position" with someone else. It is a fundamental skill for modeling another person and for developing intuitions about the person's internal experience. To get a sense of the influence and effects of mirroring, try out the following exercise. 1. Choose a partner, or person to converse with. Do not tell the person initially that you will be mirroring him or her during the conversation. 2. Enter into a conversation with the person, asking for his or her opinions about various subjects. 3. As you are conversing, begin to subtly mirror the other person's physiology (including voice tone and tempo). [Hint: This can be most easily done in the context of 'active listening'; that is, reflecting back statements the person has made, by commenting, "So what you are saying is....", and then stating your understanding of the person's opinion.] 4. When you are fully mirroring, you will be sitting in the same posture, using the same types of gestures, speaking at a similar speed and volume, and in a similar voice tone range, as the other person. If you are completely mirroring the other person, you may even be breathing at the same rate and pattern as the other. Notice how it feels when you have reached this level of deep rapport. 5. One way to test your degree of rapport is by "second guessing" the other person's opinion on a couple of subjects that you have not yet discussed. Often mirroring will give you access to information that is being unconsciously communicated and received, and you will "pick up" information about the other person without being consciously aware of how you got it. This is why mirroring is such a powerful tool for modeling. 6. To get another sense of the influence mirroring and matching has on your interaction; try out abruptly mismatching the other person, in posture, gestures, voice tone and breathing. Both you and your partner should experience quite a jolt if you do this, and feel as if your quality of rapport has changed dramatically. 7. Before concluding your conversation and letting your partner in on what you were doing, make sure you have reestablished rapport by once again physically mirroring your partner. One way to help rapport to develop is to mirror the micro-behaviors of those we wish to influence. Any observable behavior can be mirrored, for example: Body posture Spinal alignment Hand gestures Head tilt Blink rate Facial expression Energy level Breathing rate Vocal qualities (volume, tonality, rhythm) Key word phrases or predicates Anything else that you can observe… To mirror another person, merely select the behavior or quality you wish to mirror, and then do that behavior. If you choose to mirror head tilt, when the person moves their head, wait a few moments, then move yours to the same angle. The effect should be as though the other person is looking in a mirror. To mirror a person who has raised his right hand, you would raise your left hand (i.e. mirror image). To match this same person, you would raise your right-hand (doing exactly the same as the other person). Some practitioners see a time difference between mirroring and matching. For example, if someone makes hand gestures while they are speaking, you would wait until it was your turn to speak before making similar (matching) hand gestures. The fact that you've read this far means that you can see the benefits of increasing your rapport skills. Reading is sadly not enough - practice is the key to building skill, so do the exercises. When you first start the practice of mirroring, you may have to pay some conscious attention to what you're doing. After a while, however, you will start to catch yourself doing it unconsciously. This is where you really begin to build rapport elegantly! And at times when a gesture is idiosyncratic to that person or otherwise to obvious, you can do crossover matching. Meaning, if they adjust their glasses, and you don't wear any, then just move your foot. When you crossover match/mirror, you match/mirror a portion of the other person's body, with a different portion of your own body. This is best to do when you are matching someone's rate of breathing. You can use your finger to pace the rhythm of their breath. When matching or mirroring someone's voice, do that with their tonality, volume, and the rate at which they speak. And remember you don't have to do all of these things, just one or two will be enough to create rapport in most cases. Skilled communicators have a wide range of behaviors they can mirror to build rapport. You can find a way to mirror virtually anything you can observe. When this is done elegantly, it is out of consciousness for the other person. • However, a few notes of caution are appropriate: • Mirroring is not the same as mimicry. • It should be subtle and respectful. • Mirroring can lead to you sharing the other person's experience. • Avoid mirroring people who are in distress or who have severe mental issues. • Mirroring builds a deep sense of trust quickly, so use it with responsibility. Practice with friends and family members to start and begin to match different aspects of their posture, gestures, voice and words. Have fun with it and notice if they begin to respond to your matching. At work or social events, start by matching one specific behavior, and once they and you feel comfortable, begin to add on another. With people whom you already have a sense of rapport, notice how often you naturally match their posture, gestures, tone of voice or words, This is because matching and mirroring comes naturally. Your outcome then should be to create rapport with anyone at any given moment, having it become automatic whenever you wish to deepen that sense of rapport. Exercise 1 Practice mirroring the micro-behaviors of people on television (chat shows & interviews are ideal.) You may be surprised at how quickly you can become comfortable as you subtly mirror the behaviors of others. Exercise 2 Choose a safe situation to practice mirroring an element of someone else's behavior. When you have mirrored them for a while, and think you are in rapport with the person, scratch your nose. If they lift their hand to their face within the next minute or so, congratulate yourself - you have led their behavior! Exercise 3 Increase the range of behaviors that you can mirror, and introduce deliberate rapport-building into situations where it will benefit you and others. Use your common sense and choose low-risk situations to practice in.) Exercise 4 During a conversation with another person; choose one of their behaviors (e.g. breathing rate) to cross-over match with one of your behaviors (e.g. speaking rate.) Notice how quickly the sense of connection develops! Backtracking is another excellent skill to learn in order to maintain and deepen rapport. When you are in conversation with another person, whether it be business or personal, take the opportunity to recite back to the person the information you’re receiving. This lets the person know that you were listening and you understand without judgment. It also allows you a chance to ensure your understanding and/or ask for clarification. Backtracking is the thread that tightens and deepens rapport. Backtracking is repeating back the essence, not verbatim, of what the person is attempting to communicate. There will be times when you’re backtracking, and the other person will add on or correct you. Being corrected will only strengthen rapport because you’ll then backtrack again and have the person really feel you understand. There is also the possibility being corrected will cause you to lose rapport. However, losing rapport is just like losing your balance. You falter, recover, and get back into it again. When you do lose rapport you’ll find a way to regain it. There may also be times you want to be "out" of rapport with someone. For example if it isn't healthy for you to be around certain people, you are held hostage at a cocktail party or you are doing it for effect. Typically people think the way to break rapport is to be demeaning or disagree. Although that may work I recommend mismatching. This means intentionally mismatch posture, breathing, key words/gestures, and voice quality. Rely on mismatching the nonverbal communication and you will be out of rapport. For those of you who like experiments try this: Disagree strongly and maintain rapport. Or agree completely while breaking rapport. And all experimenting should be done in a non-critical environment without judgment. The key element in establishing, building, deepening and maintaining rapport is your ability to pay attention to the responses you receive. One presupposition of NLP, or assumed rules is; “Communication is the response we receive back, NOT our intention given.”
John James Santangelo C.Ht. nationally acclaimed speaker, seminar leader, and success coach has been a guiding force in empowering individuals, businesses, and corporations to excel at peak performance. Working with companies such as Learning Annex, CSUN-Northridge University, Mary Kay Inc, Well Point, Xerox, RE/MAX Realtors, the Teamsters Union, and the US Army counter-intelligence team. Whether you’re looking to fulfill short-term goals, meeting planner events, or corporate sales/communication trainings, John can help you achieve a new level of success! He is the author of Asking The Right Questions…” For more information on Successful Communication Skills, email Info@JohnSantangelo.com or www.JohnSantangelo.com
Maria Duval - Getting What You Want In Life
Getting What You Want In Life
Do you know what you want in life? When is the last time you took a few minutes to think about where you are in life and more importantly, where you want to be? What types of aspirations do you have? What's stopping you from writing a few of them down and making them a reality? The answer is YOU! You can do it. Are you ready to make those goals a reality? Do you really want it? Then you must make the decision. No one is going to do it for you. Whether you are a person who sets goals or aspirations or not, you likely have some things in your life you would like to achieve. Now is as good as any time to think about them, right? One good way to begin is to create a Mission Statement for your life. My Mission Statement is: "To allow God to use me and my business to touch others' lives for eternal purposes -- to bring the importance of God and family to the forefront of our lives." --What is your purpose in life? --What do you hope to accomplish in this life? --What do you most want to be remembered for? --What motivates and excites you? --What do you want to achieve and why? Don't limit the vision you have for yourself. Expand your dreams. If you can dream it, you can achieve it. What are your goals or ambitions in regards to your: --Faith --Spouse --Children --Work or business --Self --Financial --Physical Now think of each area and which you have goals that you would like to work towards. Write down the goals in each category that you hope to accomplish in the next few years. Make sure your goals are measurable and specific such as: spend 20 minutes per day studying my Bible, go on a date with my spouse at least once a week or save $200 per month towards retirement or college education. What steps do you need to take in order to reach each one of your goals? Write those steps down and give yourself a time frame on when you can expect to make progress towards and ultimately reach your goals. Now describe the results of achieving your goals. How will it enrich your life? How will your life be different? Make some note cards with each goal on it and how your life will be changed as a result of each goal achieved. Review them daily and renew your mind with the reasons for your goals and why you want to achieve them. Chart your progress and celebrate each step of the way until at last you achieve your goal and really celebrate! Only you can change or improve your life. Become intentional. Develop a plan and review it daily or weekly. Become passionate about your life and your dreams. What are you waiting for? Don't look back in a year or two wishing you had achieved something for yourself, your family or your business. Take charge now and begin your first step towards the life you've always wanted. Copyright HBWM.com, Inc. 2006
Lesley Spencer is the founder and president of the national association of Home-Based Working Moms (www.HBWM.com), the HBWM.com, Inc. Network of Websites and author of the Work-at-Home Workbook. She has a Master's Degree in Public Relations and has been featured in numerous media outlets including CBS News, Forbes, Business Week, Parents, Wall Street Journal and USA Today. She has been working from home for over 10 years and has two children whom she absolutely adores!
Reboot Your Commute
Commuting is one of those things that, if you are doing it, is something that you have to do rather than want to do. And if you have a negative attitude about your commute, it can quickly turn into something that starts to impact more than just the time you spend commuting.
Your attitude about the commute can carry into work, home, and play. When you arrive at work already in an agitated state, you?ll need a cooling off period or your productivity will be lowered. Time is wasted preparing for the commute itself, either by having to hype yourself up or by dragging yourself down. It can also take its toll of your health, whether it is from increased stress or weight gain. Needless to say, commuting takes away from time that you would rather spend on other activities.
Wouldn?t it be nice if you actually looked forward to your commute? It may seem overwhelming to try to picture the commute in a different way, but there are resources out there to help commuters change their perspective and even turn the commute into something positive and productive.
Following a simple program and making small changes is a great way to start turning your commute into a better experience. Programs are good because they provide structure and activities to see you through the needed steps and help you to understand
why the commute affects you adversely and how to change it.
One of the first things to do is think about what it is that drains you about the commute? Is it the time, the crowds, being away from home, fears and risks associated with traveling, or simply the boredom? In order to revert back to a time before the stress of the commute got hold of you, you first need to articulate what about the commute is draining. Then you need to do something about it.
Think of the commute as a tool that allows you to live your life in a better way. For example, instead of saying:
?I hate driving all the way to work. I wish I could retire. What?s the use of having a nice house when I don?t have any time to spend in it??
You could say: ?I commute to work so that I may live where I choose. In this way, I get the best of both worlds, a good paycheck and a good home. I even get to use my commute time in a way that increases my health and wellbeing.?
Figure out what drains you, then you can act on that and move forward to help make your commute a positive force in your life.
Dr. Mastria is founder of Commuter-Assist and has created a five step program titled, FIVE STEPS TO A BETTER COMMUTE available free on the Commuter-Assist website (http://www.Commuter-Assist.com). Dr. Mastria's website is designed to help commuters get the most out of their commute and life in general. To contact email info@Commuter-Assist.com.
Intelligent Optimism Wins In Today's World
The reality of today's world seems to leave little room for optimism. Almost every news story can lead because it does bleed. We hear of critical food shortages in Africa, daily gang deaths on city streets, the profiteering from child pornography, and the climatic disasters prompted by global warming. Health care costs move up faster than a hummingbird in flight and more children now spout profanities as a regular part of speech. With such negativity, no wonder a 2004 U.S. government survey found that depression afflicts one in 10 adults 14 days a month or more.
You probably get depressed just reading the opening paragraph. But wait! There is hope. Not the cock-eyed optimism that became fodder for a song from the musical South Pacific, but rather what psychologists in France are calling "intelligent optimism." Such optimism does not deny the reality of today's world, but rather seeks to LEARN how to fashion a life amid such difficulties. Martin Seligman, the psychologist who had made optimism and happiness his life's work, would agree with the French: optimism can be taught.
Consider these basic steps:
(1) Focus on what you can control. Don't get carried away by circumstances you cannot change. You might not change global warming but you can control your energy consumption. You can't stop the downsizing in your company but you can arm yourself with marketable skills.
(2) Reframe the event so that you are not a victim. There is always another way to view a situation. The flight cancellation that caused me to miss (and forfeit) a major engagement was not "planned" to "get" me. It just was. My choice is to figure out what I can do to help the current client and what I will put in the place of the cancelled work.
(3) Think "enough". When we concentrate on what we don't have, we miss all the many things we do have. The truth of the matter is that if you are reading this article, you do have enough computer power. You do have enough intelligence. You do have enough time.
(4) Cultivate optimistic responses. Like a farmer tending a field, optimism will never grow unless it is watered, fed, weeded and nourished. We all have days in which negativity can take over. And, sometimes, that is a WISE response because it keeps us grounded in reality. Just make sure it is reality and not the imagination making extraordinary leaps into conjecture. Weed out that conjecture. Ask what you can DO to see a result that gives you a sense of power. If we don't cultivate such intelligent optimism, be aware of reality and willing to find options, then we might do what Alexander Graham Bell warned. "Stare so long at the closed door we fail to see the one that is opening."
(5) Remember the power of generations. Children of depressed parents are more prone to depression. Children of optimists are more prone to be optimists. What do you choose to pass along? Even if your parents were negative, you can break the cycle with stopping, freeze-framing a situation, listening to the negative self talk, and then literally giving yourself a different message. Yes, this takes practice but you can make it a habit if you work it over time.
Ultimately, intelligent optimists understand that change and chaos are given. They know that "this too shall pass". In the meantime, they CHOOSE to take whatever action they can within their own sphere of influence and then settle back. It is enough.
(c) 2005, McDargh Communications. Publication rights granted to all venues so long as article and by-line are reprinted intact and all links are made live.
Named by Executive Excellence Magazine as one of the top 100 thought leaders in business, Eileen McDargh, CSP, CPAE authored one of the first books on work/life balance. Numerous books and articles later, Eileen serves the meetings industry as a popular international keynoter and on the Board of Directors of the National Speakers Association. You can find products and services offered by Eileen at http://www.EileenMcDargh.com
Turn Your Hate into Happiness
I hate Mondays! I hate Birthdays! I hate Holidays! We hear these statements all the time from others and ourselves. Justification for our hatred of certain days isn?t hard to come by. Mondays represent the start of a workweek at a job we may despise. Birthdays represent the progression of years we all wish would move at a slower pace. Holidays tend to accentuate preexisting family feuds, loss of loved ones and economic low points. Some people take it a step further and center their anger on people or things.
I hate my cousin, nephew, mother-in-law, father-in-law, ex-boyfriend or next-door neighbor. I hate that dog who roams the neighborhood unsupervised, those kids that play loudly in front of my house or the Meter Reader who walks across my well-kept lawn. You may have some very legitimate reasons for centering anger and even hatred on these people and things, however, there is a price to be paid for constantly focusing on them and you may be surprised at what it is.
Almost everyone I know lives each day based on one or more sets of good or bad events. Those events dictate their every mood and help decide how they will live a particular day. This gives a huge amount of power to things, situations and people that they allow to influence their lives. That power is given away, not earned. In a culture obsessed with Psychology and Psychiatry, we are taught to believe that people, situations and things have power over us cause certain types of behavior. Instead of ignoring those influences, we?re encouraged to explore and understand them. While resolution is possible, it always seems to evade those who follow this path.
I know people who live on therapy and pills. I am not talking about individuals with legitimate mental disorders that may be successfully treated through medication; I am speaking about people who are told they need treatment because something in their lives is upsetting them. If that situation cannot be resolved, it should never be permitted to rule their lives. Some people spend all their time trying to resolve situations that should never have been allowed to overtake them. Sometimes we have to ignore, learn to accept or walk away from situations that we cannot control.
Everyone is different. Some people drive their vehicles all day blissfully unaware of what?s happening on the road around them. Others get upset and beside themselves if someone cuts them off or causes them to miss a light. Regardless of what sets you off in a positive or negative direction, it?s really all about allowing people, situations and things to have power over us. Most people have already surrendered their lives to circumstances. They wake up and allow everything around them to decide what kind of day they?ll have.
I always get a kick out of people I know who get angry with me for not being upset with whatever bad piece of news the media happens to be spewing out at any given time. ?Didn?t you hear what happened today?? Sure I did. It?s bad news. It has to be because most people in the news media know that good news just doesn?t sell. We are incessantly reminded by news reporters, political pundits and talk show hosts how important it is that we listen to them. Instead of making a well informed decision at the ballot box by voting for people we know will represent our particular viewpoint, we?ll told that we must constantly revisit every election by staying on top of government officials and all that they do.
The problem with being directly involved with every political, social or other issue on any given day is that it deflects us from what?s important in our own lives. I have seen more then a few people leave their families, jobs and anything that resembled a normal life to take on a cause they felt worth that cost. However, most of them were not in a normal state of mind when they made that decision. Instead of giving the matter careful thought, they responded to the call to a call for arms levied by other true believers.
There are people who leave radio or cable news channels on all day, then wonder why they are feeling so bad. I listen to the news; however, I do not allow it to decide what kind of day I am going to have. This doesn?t mean that I do not sympathize with people who have been hit by disaster, crime or some terrible calamity. I do. In fact, I have links on several of my websites for people to donate money, time or talent to help those afflicted by all sorts of disasters, economic situations and national tragedies. I care about and support various causes and charities like most other people. I just refuse to allow those things to overtake me on a personal level.
It scares me to think how much I used to allow everything happening around me to rule my life. It?s as if I was in some sort of a coma. I refused to happy unless something happened that gave me a reason to feel good. I lived based on the day?s events and everything going on around me. Needless to say, I was not happy a good deal of the time. I listened to experts on television and the radio and thought that maybe I was the kind of person who might have a tendency towards Depression. I was just about to seek help for being depressed, when I saw the light.
While watching television one morning, it dawned on me how influential the world around me had become on my life. I was watching the news early in the morning when one of my younger children came in the room. I switched the channel to some cartoons. I couldn?t help but watch what was on and started laughing. I went out that morning feeling really good. Why? Because my television had told me to. It provided some funny and uplifting entertainment that made me feel good.
Giving it some thought, I became upset at how much I was allowing all sorts of things happening around me to influence my life. I had joined the crowd that played the Blame Game. If someone in my family got me upset, I blamed them for ruining my entire day. If a friend or business associate called with bad news, it was their fault that I couldn?t function to my full potential that day. Not only did I blame others for my feelings, I blamed myself!
If I wasn?t feeling good most of the time, there must have been something mentally wrong with me. I automatically assumed that I needed therapy, pills or couch sessions to solve this imaginary problem. Fortunately, I tried something else before taking any of those steps. I decided to feel the way I wanted to feel each day regardless of my circumstances. After making that decision, it almost seemed ridiculous how much power I had allowed people and things to have over me. Not only did that decision change my personal life, it changed the way I did business.
I stopped allowing Nay Sayers to influence every business decision I made. Since the day I was born, people had told me about all the things I couldn?t do. They had decided that I fitted into a certain mold and needed to exist within that narrow expression of economic happiness. Not all of my business decisions have been good ones and thinking outside of the box hasn?t always benefited me. However, moving beyond people?s expectations and making decisions based on what I know about myself instead of everything happening around me have always been good steps in the right direction.
If you want to survive the daily grind and move beyond the influences of everything around you, it?s time to stop living based one what life tosses your way. It will not be easy. Misery loves company and everyone around you will miss the influence they have on the way you feel. You will not always be happy, but you will have the ability to be happy, sad or otherwise based on deliberate choice. You can either handle your emotions, or allow them to handle you.
Author: Bill Knell Author's Email: billknell@cox.net Author's Website: http://www.billknell.com Terms To Use Article: Permission is granted to use this article for free online or in print. Please add a link to or print my website address of http://www.billknell.com
Re-Visioning
Radical Consciousness is the means by which we can re-invent the past and dream the future into a new reality. Radical Consciousness is not stuck in any concepts from the past or future. What happened in the past is an appearance only. You can re-live the story, and bring about a new ending. You wrote the script the first time; you can re- write it. There are as many histories as there are viewers of history. That's why it is so hard for juries to decide who is innocent and who is guilty. The important point here is to realize that you are not stuck in time. Radical Consciousness is not confined to any time or place. Consciousness is Eternal in time, and Consciousness is the Fourth Dimension in Space. The Fourth Dimension is not something added to the first three dimensions. The Fourth Dimension includes, encompasses and interpenetrates the first three. Memory is just a recording of what appeared to have happened. You put your own spin on it, and your neighbor, although present for the same event, was in a totally different world with its own spin. You can re-write the script and the future changes as does the script. The Time Machine movies are true. You can re-visit the past and change the present. Or you can visit the future and change the present. Crank up the Time Machine of your Imagination and revise your past and future. Scientists may argue whether space is a function of time or time a function of space, but in radical consciousness we realize that both are functions of the imagination. History is His-story and thus it is My-story and Your-story and Our- story. History is open to re-vision. For example, forgiveness re-writes the past, the present and the future. Do not let past hurts define you. Tell yourself a different story this time with a preferred outcome. Write it down. Make up a play and act it out on the stage of your imagination. Create your own theater and cast of stars. Don't write it like you don't want it, or you will continue to have what you have now. History is very fluid. You dreamed up your interpretation of the events in your history and so you can re-dream it. You can get angry and curse at the guy who cut out in front of you, but you could also choose to be thankful that he missed you. You can hate your ex for all of his foolishness or you can imagine him waking up from it and thus you release yourself from all of the foolishness he saw in you. What you release on earth is released in your heavenly mind and what you bind on earth is bound in your imagination. So re-script every awful and painful thing that ever happened to you and don't re-live it any more. It is said that those who do not learn the lessons of history are doomed to repeat them. Those who would re-write history can do so. Just re-vision it the way you now want it to be, and it will be so. You have a second chance, it has been given to you already. Radical Consciousness is that chance. Take it. History was written through imagination and can be changed through imagination. Past, present or future. The past is not, as psychoanalysis has believed, determinative, unless you keep on remembering it and re-empowering it. You dreamed a bad dream; re-dream the incident as it could be or should have been. You thought carelessly; re-think it constructively. You acted foolishly; re-enact it wisely. You felt painfully; re-feel it harmoniously. You wrote amiss; re-write with accuracy. An "accident" happened; re- construct it into a blessing. A "trauma" happened; un- traumatize it. You "lost" something or someone; you can find it. You are in a bad mood; upgrade it. Radical Consciousness is in the business of re-visioning history. Nothing is impossible. Through your imagination, the world of possibilities just keeps on expanding. You are a possibility person if and when you can focus continually on the possibility you want. Every night before you fall asleep, review your day. If you did anything today that you regret or if anyone else did anything that bothers you, go back and change the story, change the outcome. In this manner you do not carry any burden from today into tomorrow. With regular practice, you will lighten your load. You will also realize the power of your thoughts and intentions in a new and profound way. Nothing is set in stone. Memory can be changed. "Behold, I make all things new." History was just an interpretation anyway, a very distorted perception and memory. It was all a soap opera. Forgiveness can be just as real as the offense. As you change the outcome to what you want, you will be able next time to do it right the first time. How you take things is how you experience them. You always have a choice about how you are going to take anything. Re-visioning means that you still have a choice. There are no victims, even in your past. The Infinite Good extends indefinitely into the past and into the future. Re-visioning is a new word for forgiveness. Re-visioning means that we let go of a judgment or an opinion. Letting go of judgments is a path of renewal because all such opinions of what is going on are ego assessments. All judgments, which leave out the Infinite Good, are false. The ego is incapable of true awareness. Forgive the false judgments of others and you are forgiven yours. You don't have to wait until the end of the day to re-vision. The sooner the better. If you practice immediate re-visioning, it won't be long before you catch yourself in the act and revise it before the mistake is even made. We are programmed by our ego. "There is no inevitable permanence in anything. Both past and present continue to exist only because they are sustained by Imagination on some level or other; and a radical transformation of life is always possible by man revising the undesirable part of it." Neville
Carroll J. Wright, Ph.D. is a professional counselor, spiritual psychotherapist, and researcher in the field of transpersonal psychology,as well as author of several books. He can be reached at: http://myspiritualpsychotherapy.com
Increasing Prosperity With Positive Thinking
Increasing prosperity in our lives can be accomplished by having the right frame of mind. The truth is, our thoughts are very powerful. They are capable of influencing every aspect of our daily lives, from our physical health to our social behaviors. I'm sure you've heard the adage, "As you think, so shall you be."
If we want to improve our lives, we must first improve our thoughts. Harnessing the power of thought in a positive way has the ability to create great change in our lives, including our financial well-being and prosperity. But how? How do we take something as intangible as thoughts, and manifest them into a physical reality?
We must first understand that being prosperous is more than having a lot of money. Prosperity is a mindset, a way of interacting in our lives, and a way of thinking. Mastering this train of thought is not easy, but it is simple enough if we keep working on it consistently.
Following are some ideas to help you improve your thoughts, and ultimately attract more prosperity into your life:
Be grateful for the blessings in your life right now. Take a few minutes each day to express heartfelt gratitude for the good things in your life. Even more powerful, write a few of these blessings down each day. This helps to put your focus in the right direction -- on abundance, not lack.
Use positive affirmations to begin training yourself to think positively. Use "I am" statements such as "I am worthy of all that is good." Write the statements down and repeat them nightly before bed. Over time, this will implant these thoughts into your subconscious mind, and you will begin to naturally believe them.
Creative visualization can help you achieve prosperity by determining what it is you wish to achieve, and then thoroughly creating that image in your mind. This works in the same way affirmations do. Our subconscious will fill with images of prosperity, and eventually these subconscious "truths" will manifest in the physical. "See" yourself as being prosperous, and you will become so.
Encourage yourself with the belief that you can achieve great things. This could also be one of your affirmations, but expand on it. If you know you can earn a certain salary, tell yourself you can earn more. Allow yourself to believe all things are possible, and you will gain the confidence needed to reach higher than you ever imagined you could. If you believe you can do it, you are more likely to take the risks associated with people who are highly successful. Prosperity and success go hand in hand, so take risks and aim higher.
Start a savings account. As strange as it sounds, think about this: Like Attracts Like. Even if you can only afford to put a few dollars into your account every month, it will begin to build up and attract more money.
Finally, believe you are already wealthy. The creative ability of our thoughts is such that we lend more power and energy to whatever we consistently focus on. Focusing on lack will create more lack. Focusing on wealth and prosperity will create . . . guess what?
Remember that this is a process. You likely won't change your circumstances in one day. But over time, with consistent focus, your thoughts will begin to attract what you want. Once you master this power of thought, there are truly no limits to what you can create!
Wendy Betterini is a freelance writer who strives to motivate, uplift, and inspire you to make your dreams a reality. Visit her website, http://www.WingsForTheHeart.com for more positive thoughts to help you on your journey.
Increasing Prosperity With Positive Thinking
Increasing prosperity in our lives can be accomplished by having the right frame of mind. The truth is, our thoughts are very powerful. They are capable of influencing every aspect of our daily lives, from our physical health to our social behaviors. I'm sure you've heard the adage, "As you think, so shall you be."
If we want to improve our lives, we must first improve our thoughts. Harnessing the power of thought in a positive way has the ability to create great change in our lives, including our financial well-being and prosperity. But how? How do we take something as intangible as thoughts, and manifest them into a physical reality?
We must first understand that being prosperous is more than having a lot of money. Prosperity is a mindset, a way of interacting in our lives, and a way of thinking. Mastering this train of thought is not easy, but it is simple enough if we keep working on it consistently.
Following are some ideas to help you improve your thoughts, and ultimately attract more prosperity into your life:
Be grateful for the blessings in your life right now. Take a few minutes each day to express heartfelt gratitude for the good things in your life. Even more powerful, write a few of these blessings down each day. This helps to put your focus in the right direction -- on abundance, not lack.
Use positive affirmations to begin training yourself to think positively. Use "I am" statements such as "I am worthy of all that is good." Write the statements down and repeat them nightly before bed. Over time, this will implant these thoughts into your subconscious mind, and you will begin to naturally believe them.
Creative visualization can help you achieve prosperity by determining what it is you wish to achieve, and then thoroughly creating that image in your mind. This works in the same way affirmations do. Our subconscious will fill with images of prosperity, and eventually these subconscious "truths" will manifest in the physical. "See" yourself as being prosperous, and you will become so.
Encourage yourself with the belief that you can achieve great things. This could also be one of your affirmations, but expand on it. If you know you can earn a certain salary, tell yourself you can earn more. Allow yourself to believe all things are possible, and you will gain the confidence needed to reach higher than you ever imagined you could. If you believe you can do it, you are more likely to take the risks associated with people who are highly successful. Prosperity and success go hand in hand, so take risks and aim higher.
Start a savings account. As strange as it sounds, think about this: Like Attracts Like. Even if you can only afford to put a few dollars into your account every month, it will begin to build up and attract more money.
Finally, believe you are already wealthy. The creative ability of our thoughts is such that we lend more power and energy to whatever we consistently focus on. Focusing on lack will create more lack. Focusing on wealth and prosperity will create . . . guess what?
Remember that this is a process. You likely won't change your circumstances in one day. But over time, with consistent focus, your thoughts will begin to attract what you want. Once you master this power of thought, there are truly no limits to what you can create!
Wendy Betterini is a freelance writer who strives to motivate, uplift, and inspire you to make your dreams a reality. Visit her website, http://www.WingsForTheHeart.com for more positive thoughts to help you on your journey.
Become The Star, Director, And Writer Of Your Future.
One of the secrets of success is to not work so hard with your physical body; instead, use your mind to work out the details of how to be the person you want to be. Are you motivated to spend 10 minutes a day envisioning the future you want to create for yourself?
By deliberately mentally rehearsing the experience of success in your mind, you can turn aspirations into realities. See yourself free from the old negative habits that have wasted your time, energy, and money. Forget willpower for now and imagine yourself with positive behaviors. See yourself handling any challenging situation that normally triggers your old habits and see yourself using new strategies and doing it with
ease.
Success experts say your imagination is your own personal workshop of the mind. This is particularly true when you want to program yourself towards new habits of success.
Visualize Yourself as the Person You Want to Be with Mental Rehearsal.
Mental rehearsal is the most powerful way to tap into your creative process and overcome old behavior patterns. Mental rehearsal can be used in all areas of your life, from seeing yourself as a non smoker, seeing yourself as the weight and size you want to be, and even seeing yourself as calm during challenging times.
Mental rehearsal is a tool that can help you reduce the effects of stressful situations. Now you will be more resourceful, reducing the possibility of reverting to your old habits. All areas in your life can benefit from imagery. It doesn?t matter what level your goals are on: physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual.
Use visualization to improve your abilities. Because the body follows the mind, if you start seeing yourself in a different light, then your body will follow suit ? maybe by not craving the things that hurt you, or by motivating you to exercise more. It?s up to you to experiment. Who knows what miracles you can create in your life by using this
powerful tool?
Counselors and therapists who recommend using mental rehearsal say it is the true key to tap your potential. Their research reveals that all of our skills are learned through the image-making process, whether it?s driving a car, reading a book, or changing a habit.
You use your mind to picture the activity before you actually perform it. Think of it like this: Your mind works like a movie projector, screening an endless reel of memories and scenes of situations both real and imagined. You have the power to direct your movie projector (your mind) to reach your desired goals. Once you imagine something new for yourself, you begin to be flooded with ideas about how to realize that image. All of this will come about when you have allowed yourself to break through your own worst limitation, what you believe are your capabilities.
Seth Francis is the owner of http://www.breakyourhabits.com. Learn the true steps needed to Break any Habit in only 21 days. With the help of Personal coach Lee Milteer, Seth is able to bring you a comprehensive program to help you dig deep into your inner self and release your habits from with in, while reprogramming your mind. Copyright 2006
Do you know what you want in life? When is the last time you took a few minutes to think about where you are in life and more importantly, where you want to be? What types of aspirations do you have? What's stopping you from writing a few of them down and making them a reality? The answer is YOU! You can do it. Are you ready to make those goals a reality? Do you really want it? Then you must make the decision. No one is going to do it for you. Whether you are a person who sets goals or aspirations or not, you likely have some things in your life you would like to achieve. Now is as good as any time to think about them, right? One good way to begin is to create a Mission Statement for your life. My Mission Statement is: "To allow God to use me and my business to touch others' lives for eternal purposes -- to bring the importance of God and family to the forefront of our lives." --What is your purpose in life? --What do you hope to accomplish in this life? --What do you most want to be remembered for? --What motivates and excites you? --What do you want to achieve and why? Don't limit the vision you have for yourself. Expand your dreams. If you can dream it, you can achieve it. What are your goals or ambitions in regards to your: --Faith --Spouse --Children --Work or business --Self --Financial --Physical Now think of each area and which you have goals that you would like to work towards. Write down the goals in each category that you hope to accomplish in the next few years. Make sure your goals are measurable and specific such as: spend 20 minutes per day studying my Bible, go on a date with my spouse at least once a week or save $200 per month towards retirement or college education. What steps do you need to take in order to reach each one of your goals? Write those steps down and give yourself a time frame on when you can expect to make progress towards and ultimately reach your goals. Now describe the results of achieving your goals. How will it enrich your life? How will your life be different? Make some note cards with each goal on it and how your life will be changed as a result of each goal achieved. Review them daily and renew your mind with the reasons for your goals and why you want to achieve them. Chart your progress and celebrate each step of the way until at last you achieve your goal and really celebrate! Only you can change or improve your life. Become intentional. Develop a plan and review it daily or weekly. Become passionate about your life and your dreams. What are you waiting for? Don't look back in a year or two wishing you had achieved something for yourself, your family or your business. Take charge now and begin your first step towards the life you've always wanted. Copyright HBWM.com, Inc. 2006
Lesley Spencer is the founder and president of the national association of Home-Based Working Moms (www.HBWM.com), the HBWM.com, Inc. Network of Websites and author of the Work-at-Home Workbook. She has a Master's Degree in Public Relations and has been featured in numerous media outlets including CBS News, Forbes, Business Week, Parents, Wall Street Journal and USA Today. She has been working from home for over 10 years and has two children whom she absolutely adores!
Reboot Your Commute
Commuting is one of those things that, if you are doing it, is something that you have to do rather than want to do. And if you have a negative attitude about your commute, it can quickly turn into something that starts to impact more than just the time you spend commuting.
Your attitude about the commute can carry into work, home, and play. When you arrive at work already in an agitated state, you?ll need a cooling off period or your productivity will be lowered. Time is wasted preparing for the commute itself, either by having to hype yourself up or by dragging yourself down. It can also take its toll of your health, whether it is from increased stress or weight gain. Needless to say, commuting takes away from time that you would rather spend on other activities.
Wouldn?t it be nice if you actually looked forward to your commute? It may seem overwhelming to try to picture the commute in a different way, but there are resources out there to help commuters change their perspective and even turn the commute into something positive and productive.
Following a simple program and making small changes is a great way to start turning your commute into a better experience. Programs are good because they provide structure and activities to see you through the needed steps and help you to understand
why the commute affects you adversely and how to change it.
One of the first things to do is think about what it is that drains you about the commute? Is it the time, the crowds, being away from home, fears and risks associated with traveling, or simply the boredom? In order to revert back to a time before the stress of the commute got hold of you, you first need to articulate what about the commute is draining. Then you need to do something about it.
Think of the commute as a tool that allows you to live your life in a better way. For example, instead of saying:
?I hate driving all the way to work. I wish I could retire. What?s the use of having a nice house when I don?t have any time to spend in it??
You could say: ?I commute to work so that I may live where I choose. In this way, I get the best of both worlds, a good paycheck and a good home. I even get to use my commute time in a way that increases my health and wellbeing.?
Figure out what drains you, then you can act on that and move forward to help make your commute a positive force in your life.
Dr. Mastria is founder of Commuter-Assist and has created a five step program titled, FIVE STEPS TO A BETTER COMMUTE available free on the Commuter-Assist website (http://www.Commuter-Assist.com). Dr. Mastria's website is designed to help commuters get the most out of their commute and life in general. To contact email info@Commuter-Assist.com.
Intelligent Optimism Wins In Today's World
The reality of today's world seems to leave little room for optimism. Almost every news story can lead because it does bleed. We hear of critical food shortages in Africa, daily gang deaths on city streets, the profiteering from child pornography, and the climatic disasters prompted by global warming. Health care costs move up faster than a hummingbird in flight and more children now spout profanities as a regular part of speech. With such negativity, no wonder a 2004 U.S. government survey found that depression afflicts one in 10 adults 14 days a month or more.
You probably get depressed just reading the opening paragraph. But wait! There is hope. Not the cock-eyed optimism that became fodder for a song from the musical South Pacific, but rather what psychologists in France are calling "intelligent optimism." Such optimism does not deny the reality of today's world, but rather seeks to LEARN how to fashion a life amid such difficulties. Martin Seligman, the psychologist who had made optimism and happiness his life's work, would agree with the French: optimism can be taught.
Consider these basic steps:
(1) Focus on what you can control. Don't get carried away by circumstances you cannot change. You might not change global warming but you can control your energy consumption. You can't stop the downsizing in your company but you can arm yourself with marketable skills.
(2) Reframe the event so that you are not a victim. There is always another way to view a situation. The flight cancellation that caused me to miss (and forfeit) a major engagement was not "planned" to "get" me. It just was. My choice is to figure out what I can do to help the current client and what I will put in the place of the cancelled work.
(3) Think "enough". When we concentrate on what we don't have, we miss all the many things we do have. The truth of the matter is that if you are reading this article, you do have enough computer power. You do have enough intelligence. You do have enough time.
(4) Cultivate optimistic responses. Like a farmer tending a field, optimism will never grow unless it is watered, fed, weeded and nourished. We all have days in which negativity can take over. And, sometimes, that is a WISE response because it keeps us grounded in reality. Just make sure it is reality and not the imagination making extraordinary leaps into conjecture. Weed out that conjecture. Ask what you can DO to see a result that gives you a sense of power. If we don't cultivate such intelligent optimism, be aware of reality and willing to find options, then we might do what Alexander Graham Bell warned. "Stare so long at the closed door we fail to see the one that is opening."
(5) Remember the power of generations. Children of depressed parents are more prone to depression. Children of optimists are more prone to be optimists. What do you choose to pass along? Even if your parents were negative, you can break the cycle with stopping, freeze-framing a situation, listening to the negative self talk, and then literally giving yourself a different message. Yes, this takes practice but you can make it a habit if you work it over time.
Ultimately, intelligent optimists understand that change and chaos are given. They know that "this too shall pass". In the meantime, they CHOOSE to take whatever action they can within their own sphere of influence and then settle back. It is enough.
(c) 2005, McDargh Communications. Publication rights granted to all venues so long as article and by-line are reprinted intact and all links are made live.
Named by Executive Excellence Magazine as one of the top 100 thought leaders in business, Eileen McDargh, CSP, CPAE authored one of the first books on work/life balance. Numerous books and articles later, Eileen serves the meetings industry as a popular international keynoter and on the Board of Directors of the National Speakers Association. You can find products and services offered by Eileen at http://www.EileenMcDargh.com
Turn Your Hate into Happiness
I hate Mondays! I hate Birthdays! I hate Holidays! We hear these statements all the time from others and ourselves. Justification for our hatred of certain days isn?t hard to come by. Mondays represent the start of a workweek at a job we may despise. Birthdays represent the progression of years we all wish would move at a slower pace. Holidays tend to accentuate preexisting family feuds, loss of loved ones and economic low points. Some people take it a step further and center their anger on people or things.
I hate my cousin, nephew, mother-in-law, father-in-law, ex-boyfriend or next-door neighbor. I hate that dog who roams the neighborhood unsupervised, those kids that play loudly in front of my house or the Meter Reader who walks across my well-kept lawn. You may have some very legitimate reasons for centering anger and even hatred on these people and things, however, there is a price to be paid for constantly focusing on them and you may be surprised at what it is.
Almost everyone I know lives each day based on one or more sets of good or bad events. Those events dictate their every mood and help decide how they will live a particular day. This gives a huge amount of power to things, situations and people that they allow to influence their lives. That power is given away, not earned. In a culture obsessed with Psychology and Psychiatry, we are taught to believe that people, situations and things have power over us cause certain types of behavior. Instead of ignoring those influences, we?re encouraged to explore and understand them. While resolution is possible, it always seems to evade those who follow this path.
I know people who live on therapy and pills. I am not talking about individuals with legitimate mental disorders that may be successfully treated through medication; I am speaking about people who are told they need treatment because something in their lives is upsetting them. If that situation cannot be resolved, it should never be permitted to rule their lives. Some people spend all their time trying to resolve situations that should never have been allowed to overtake them. Sometimes we have to ignore, learn to accept or walk away from situations that we cannot control.
Everyone is different. Some people drive their vehicles all day blissfully unaware of what?s happening on the road around them. Others get upset and beside themselves if someone cuts them off or causes them to miss a light. Regardless of what sets you off in a positive or negative direction, it?s really all about allowing people, situations and things to have power over us. Most people have already surrendered their lives to circumstances. They wake up and allow everything around them to decide what kind of day they?ll have.
I always get a kick out of people I know who get angry with me for not being upset with whatever bad piece of news the media happens to be spewing out at any given time. ?Didn?t you hear what happened today?? Sure I did. It?s bad news. It has to be because most people in the news media know that good news just doesn?t sell. We are incessantly reminded by news reporters, political pundits and talk show hosts how important it is that we listen to them. Instead of making a well informed decision at the ballot box by voting for people we know will represent our particular viewpoint, we?ll told that we must constantly revisit every election by staying on top of government officials and all that they do.
The problem with being directly involved with every political, social or other issue on any given day is that it deflects us from what?s important in our own lives. I have seen more then a few people leave their families, jobs and anything that resembled a normal life to take on a cause they felt worth that cost. However, most of them were not in a normal state of mind when they made that decision. Instead of giving the matter careful thought, they responded to the call to a call for arms levied by other true believers.
There are people who leave radio or cable news channels on all day, then wonder why they are feeling so bad. I listen to the news; however, I do not allow it to decide what kind of day I am going to have. This doesn?t mean that I do not sympathize with people who have been hit by disaster, crime or some terrible calamity. I do. In fact, I have links on several of my websites for people to donate money, time or talent to help those afflicted by all sorts of disasters, economic situations and national tragedies. I care about and support various causes and charities like most other people. I just refuse to allow those things to overtake me on a personal level.
It scares me to think how much I used to allow everything happening around me to rule my life. It?s as if I was in some sort of a coma. I refused to happy unless something happened that gave me a reason to feel good. I lived based on the day?s events and everything going on around me. Needless to say, I was not happy a good deal of the time. I listened to experts on television and the radio and thought that maybe I was the kind of person who might have a tendency towards Depression. I was just about to seek help for being depressed, when I saw the light.
While watching television one morning, it dawned on me how influential the world around me had become on my life. I was watching the news early in the morning when one of my younger children came in the room. I switched the channel to some cartoons. I couldn?t help but watch what was on and started laughing. I went out that morning feeling really good. Why? Because my television had told me to. It provided some funny and uplifting entertainment that made me feel good.
Giving it some thought, I became upset at how much I was allowing all sorts of things happening around me to influence my life. I had joined the crowd that played the Blame Game. If someone in my family got me upset, I blamed them for ruining my entire day. If a friend or business associate called with bad news, it was their fault that I couldn?t function to my full potential that day. Not only did I blame others for my feelings, I blamed myself!
If I wasn?t feeling good most of the time, there must have been something mentally wrong with me. I automatically assumed that I needed therapy, pills or couch sessions to solve this imaginary problem. Fortunately, I tried something else before taking any of those steps. I decided to feel the way I wanted to feel each day regardless of my circumstances. After making that decision, it almost seemed ridiculous how much power I had allowed people and things to have over me. Not only did that decision change my personal life, it changed the way I did business.
I stopped allowing Nay Sayers to influence every business decision I made. Since the day I was born, people had told me about all the things I couldn?t do. They had decided that I fitted into a certain mold and needed to exist within that narrow expression of economic happiness. Not all of my business decisions have been good ones and thinking outside of the box hasn?t always benefited me. However, moving beyond people?s expectations and making decisions based on what I know about myself instead of everything happening around me have always been good steps in the right direction.
If you want to survive the daily grind and move beyond the influences of everything around you, it?s time to stop living based one what life tosses your way. It will not be easy. Misery loves company and everyone around you will miss the influence they have on the way you feel. You will not always be happy, but you will have the ability to be happy, sad or otherwise based on deliberate choice. You can either handle your emotions, or allow them to handle you.
Author: Bill Knell Author's Email: billknell@cox.net Author's Website: http://www.billknell.com Terms To Use Article: Permission is granted to use this article for free online or in print. Please add a link to or print my website address of http://www.billknell.com
Re-Visioning
Radical Consciousness is the means by which we can re-invent the past and dream the future into a new reality. Radical Consciousness is not stuck in any concepts from the past or future. What happened in the past is an appearance only. You can re-live the story, and bring about a new ending. You wrote the script the first time; you can re- write it. There are as many histories as there are viewers of history. That's why it is so hard for juries to decide who is innocent and who is guilty. The important point here is to realize that you are not stuck in time. Radical Consciousness is not confined to any time or place. Consciousness is Eternal in time, and Consciousness is the Fourth Dimension in Space. The Fourth Dimension is not something added to the first three dimensions. The Fourth Dimension includes, encompasses and interpenetrates the first three. Memory is just a recording of what appeared to have happened. You put your own spin on it, and your neighbor, although present for the same event, was in a totally different world with its own spin. You can re-write the script and the future changes as does the script. The Time Machine movies are true. You can re-visit the past and change the present. Or you can visit the future and change the present. Crank up the Time Machine of your Imagination and revise your past and future. Scientists may argue whether space is a function of time or time a function of space, but in radical consciousness we realize that both are functions of the imagination. History is His-story and thus it is My-story and Your-story and Our- story. History is open to re-vision. For example, forgiveness re-writes the past, the present and the future. Do not let past hurts define you. Tell yourself a different story this time with a preferred outcome. Write it down. Make up a play and act it out on the stage of your imagination. Create your own theater and cast of stars. Don't write it like you don't want it, or you will continue to have what you have now. History is very fluid. You dreamed up your interpretation of the events in your history and so you can re-dream it. You can get angry and curse at the guy who cut out in front of you, but you could also choose to be thankful that he missed you. You can hate your ex for all of his foolishness or you can imagine him waking up from it and thus you release yourself from all of the foolishness he saw in you. What you release on earth is released in your heavenly mind and what you bind on earth is bound in your imagination. So re-script every awful and painful thing that ever happened to you and don't re-live it any more. It is said that those who do not learn the lessons of history are doomed to repeat them. Those who would re-write history can do so. Just re-vision it the way you now want it to be, and it will be so. You have a second chance, it has been given to you already. Radical Consciousness is that chance. Take it. History was written through imagination and can be changed through imagination. Past, present or future. The past is not, as psychoanalysis has believed, determinative, unless you keep on remembering it and re-empowering it. You dreamed a bad dream; re-dream the incident as it could be or should have been. You thought carelessly; re-think it constructively. You acted foolishly; re-enact it wisely. You felt painfully; re-feel it harmoniously. You wrote amiss; re-write with accuracy. An "accident" happened; re- construct it into a blessing. A "trauma" happened; un- traumatize it. You "lost" something or someone; you can find it. You are in a bad mood; upgrade it. Radical Consciousness is in the business of re-visioning history. Nothing is impossible. Through your imagination, the world of possibilities just keeps on expanding. You are a possibility person if and when you can focus continually on the possibility you want. Every night before you fall asleep, review your day. If you did anything today that you regret or if anyone else did anything that bothers you, go back and change the story, change the outcome. In this manner you do not carry any burden from today into tomorrow. With regular practice, you will lighten your load. You will also realize the power of your thoughts and intentions in a new and profound way. Nothing is set in stone. Memory can be changed. "Behold, I make all things new." History was just an interpretation anyway, a very distorted perception and memory. It was all a soap opera. Forgiveness can be just as real as the offense. As you change the outcome to what you want, you will be able next time to do it right the first time. How you take things is how you experience them. You always have a choice about how you are going to take anything. Re-visioning means that you still have a choice. There are no victims, even in your past. The Infinite Good extends indefinitely into the past and into the future. Re-visioning is a new word for forgiveness. Re-visioning means that we let go of a judgment or an opinion. Letting go of judgments is a path of renewal because all such opinions of what is going on are ego assessments. All judgments, which leave out the Infinite Good, are false. The ego is incapable of true awareness. Forgive the false judgments of others and you are forgiven yours. You don't have to wait until the end of the day to re-vision. The sooner the better. If you practice immediate re-visioning, it won't be long before you catch yourself in the act and revise it before the mistake is even made. We are programmed by our ego. "There is no inevitable permanence in anything. Both past and present continue to exist only because they are sustained by Imagination on some level or other; and a radical transformation of life is always possible by man revising the undesirable part of it." Neville
Carroll J. Wright, Ph.D. is a professional counselor, spiritual psychotherapist, and researcher in the field of transpersonal psychology,as well as author of several books. He can be reached at: http://myspiritualpsychotherapy.com
Increasing Prosperity With Positive Thinking
Increasing prosperity in our lives can be accomplished by having the right frame of mind. The truth is, our thoughts are very powerful. They are capable of influencing every aspect of our daily lives, from our physical health to our social behaviors. I'm sure you've heard the adage, "As you think, so shall you be."
If we want to improve our lives, we must first improve our thoughts. Harnessing the power of thought in a positive way has the ability to create great change in our lives, including our financial well-being and prosperity. But how? How do we take something as intangible as thoughts, and manifest them into a physical reality?
We must first understand that being prosperous is more than having a lot of money. Prosperity is a mindset, a way of interacting in our lives, and a way of thinking. Mastering this train of thought is not easy, but it is simple enough if we keep working on it consistently.
Following are some ideas to help you improve your thoughts, and ultimately attract more prosperity into your life:
Be grateful for the blessings in your life right now. Take a few minutes each day to express heartfelt gratitude for the good things in your life. Even more powerful, write a few of these blessings down each day. This helps to put your focus in the right direction -- on abundance, not lack.
Use positive affirmations to begin training yourself to think positively. Use "I am" statements such as "I am worthy of all that is good." Write the statements down and repeat them nightly before bed. Over time, this will implant these thoughts into your subconscious mind, and you will begin to naturally believe them.
Creative visualization can help you achieve prosperity by determining what it is you wish to achieve, and then thoroughly creating that image in your mind. This works in the same way affirmations do. Our subconscious will fill with images of prosperity, and eventually these subconscious "truths" will manifest in the physical. "See" yourself as being prosperous, and you will become so.
Encourage yourself with the belief that you can achieve great things. This could also be one of your affirmations, but expand on it. If you know you can earn a certain salary, tell yourself you can earn more. Allow yourself to believe all things are possible, and you will gain the confidence needed to reach higher than you ever imagined you could. If you believe you can do it, you are more likely to take the risks associated with people who are highly successful. Prosperity and success go hand in hand, so take risks and aim higher.
Start a savings account. As strange as it sounds, think about this: Like Attracts Like. Even if you can only afford to put a few dollars into your account every month, it will begin to build up and attract more money.
Finally, believe you are already wealthy. The creative ability of our thoughts is such that we lend more power and energy to whatever we consistently focus on. Focusing on lack will create more lack. Focusing on wealth and prosperity will create . . . guess what?
Remember that this is a process. You likely won't change your circumstances in one day. But over time, with consistent focus, your thoughts will begin to attract what you want. Once you master this power of thought, there are truly no limits to what you can create!
Wendy Betterini is a freelance writer who strives to motivate, uplift, and inspire you to make your dreams a reality. Visit her website, http://www.WingsForTheHeart.com for more positive thoughts to help you on your journey.
Increasing Prosperity With Positive Thinking
Increasing prosperity in our lives can be accomplished by having the right frame of mind. The truth is, our thoughts are very powerful. They are capable of influencing every aspect of our daily lives, from our physical health to our social behaviors. I'm sure you've heard the adage, "As you think, so shall you be."
If we want to improve our lives, we must first improve our thoughts. Harnessing the power of thought in a positive way has the ability to create great change in our lives, including our financial well-being and prosperity. But how? How do we take something as intangible as thoughts, and manifest them into a physical reality?
We must first understand that being prosperous is more than having a lot of money. Prosperity is a mindset, a way of interacting in our lives, and a way of thinking. Mastering this train of thought is not easy, but it is simple enough if we keep working on it consistently.
Following are some ideas to help you improve your thoughts, and ultimately attract more prosperity into your life:
Be grateful for the blessings in your life right now. Take a few minutes each day to express heartfelt gratitude for the good things in your life. Even more powerful, write a few of these blessings down each day. This helps to put your focus in the right direction -- on abundance, not lack.
Use positive affirmations to begin training yourself to think positively. Use "I am" statements such as "I am worthy of all that is good." Write the statements down and repeat them nightly before bed. Over time, this will implant these thoughts into your subconscious mind, and you will begin to naturally believe them.
Creative visualization can help you achieve prosperity by determining what it is you wish to achieve, and then thoroughly creating that image in your mind. This works in the same way affirmations do. Our subconscious will fill with images of prosperity, and eventually these subconscious "truths" will manifest in the physical. "See" yourself as being prosperous, and you will become so.
Encourage yourself with the belief that you can achieve great things. This could also be one of your affirmations, but expand on it. If you know you can earn a certain salary, tell yourself you can earn more. Allow yourself to believe all things are possible, and you will gain the confidence needed to reach higher than you ever imagined you could. If you believe you can do it, you are more likely to take the risks associated with people who are highly successful. Prosperity and success go hand in hand, so take risks and aim higher.
Start a savings account. As strange as it sounds, think about this: Like Attracts Like. Even if you can only afford to put a few dollars into your account every month, it will begin to build up and attract more money.
Finally, believe you are already wealthy. The creative ability of our thoughts is such that we lend more power and energy to whatever we consistently focus on. Focusing on lack will create more lack. Focusing on wealth and prosperity will create . . . guess what?
Remember that this is a process. You likely won't change your circumstances in one day. But over time, with consistent focus, your thoughts will begin to attract what you want. Once you master this power of thought, there are truly no limits to what you can create!
Wendy Betterini is a freelance writer who strives to motivate, uplift, and inspire you to make your dreams a reality. Visit her website, http://www.WingsForTheHeart.com for more positive thoughts to help you on your journey.
Become The Star, Director, And Writer Of Your Future.
One of the secrets of success is to not work so hard with your physical body; instead, use your mind to work out the details of how to be the person you want to be. Are you motivated to spend 10 minutes a day envisioning the future you want to create for yourself?
By deliberately mentally rehearsing the experience of success in your mind, you can turn aspirations into realities. See yourself free from the old negative habits that have wasted your time, energy, and money. Forget willpower for now and imagine yourself with positive behaviors. See yourself handling any challenging situation that normally triggers your old habits and see yourself using new strategies and doing it with
ease.
Success experts say your imagination is your own personal workshop of the mind. This is particularly true when you want to program yourself towards new habits of success.
Visualize Yourself as the Person You Want to Be with Mental Rehearsal.
Mental rehearsal is the most powerful way to tap into your creative process and overcome old behavior patterns. Mental rehearsal can be used in all areas of your life, from seeing yourself as a non smoker, seeing yourself as the weight and size you want to be, and even seeing yourself as calm during challenging times.
Mental rehearsal is a tool that can help you reduce the effects of stressful situations. Now you will be more resourceful, reducing the possibility of reverting to your old habits. All areas in your life can benefit from imagery. It doesn?t matter what level your goals are on: physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual.
Use visualization to improve your abilities. Because the body follows the mind, if you start seeing yourself in a different light, then your body will follow suit ? maybe by not craving the things that hurt you, or by motivating you to exercise more. It?s up to you to experiment. Who knows what miracles you can create in your life by using this
powerful tool?
Counselors and therapists who recommend using mental rehearsal say it is the true key to tap your potential. Their research reveals that all of our skills are learned through the image-making process, whether it?s driving a car, reading a book, or changing a habit.
You use your mind to picture the activity before you actually perform it. Think of it like this: Your mind works like a movie projector, screening an endless reel of memories and scenes of situations both real and imagined. You have the power to direct your movie projector (your mind) to reach your desired goals. Once you imagine something new for yourself, you begin to be flooded with ideas about how to realize that image. All of this will come about when you have allowed yourself to break through your own worst limitation, what you believe are your capabilities.
Seth Francis is the owner of http://www.breakyourhabits.com. Learn the true steps needed to Break any Habit in only 21 days. With the help of Personal coach Lee Milteer, Seth is able to bring you a comprehensive program to help you dig deep into your inner self and release your habits from with in, while reprogramming your mind. Copyright 2006
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)