The Value Of Associations
This past week I ran into a friend of mine who I hadn't seen in quite some time. It was good to see him again, at least for a few minutes.
Then I remembered why I stopped associating with him in the first place.
The guy has a big heart, and you can't help but love him. Unfortunately, he is also an incessant whiner.
He is always going on about how he doesn't make enough money with his job, and how things never seem to go right for him in life. No matter what you say to him there is no shaking his loser mantality. He has chosen to be the victim in life, and to be quite honest I think he enjoys it.
But it doesn't stop there. It's not enough for him to mope and complain about his own life, he does his best to bring the people around him down as well.
He asked me how my 'little internet business' was going. Remember it's been a long time since we had spoken last.
I certainly didn't want to rub anything in here, so I just told him politely that things were moving along and that I had quit my job as a delivery driver last year.
I could see the irritation in his face. This guy was genuinely distraught over my success.
He gave a grunt and said "Well good luck."
But he didn't really mean 'Good luck'. What he meant was 'I hope you fall flat on your face and have to go back to your old job so I can feel better about who I am'.
He's a loser because he projects nothing but negative energy into his own life, and he wants everyone around him fail and be miserable alongside him. No thanks.
I spent just a couple more minutes chatting with him, then told him I had to run.
I really do wish him the best, but I'm certainly not going to spend my precious time letting him sap the life out of me with his pity party no-hoper mentaility. There are plenty of positive, success-minded people for me to hang out with and that's where I prefer to spend my time.
There is a lesson to all this, and here it is.
Think of the most successful person you know. For our purposes today, let's define success as financial and emotional prosperity. This should be someone you know on a personal level, and not a character you've read about in your favorite business or glamour magazine.
Now, ask yourself who this highly productive individual associates with. Chances are the group of folks you identify with this question won't be a bunch of lazy, negative, self-pity freaks.
Now try the same excercise with the least successful individual you know. It's not too likely that your selection for "least successful" is a person who surrounds themselves with positive, productive human beings.
The kind of people we surround ourselves with will have a profound effect on our thought patterns. Since it's safe to say our reality starts with our thoughts, the value of our personal associations can hardly be overstated.
To spend the majority of our time around people who offer us doubt and discouragement is to limit ourselves to a bleak shadow of our full potential. Alternatively, by mingling with those who project confidence and optimism, we are sure to absorb an attitude of determination and tenacity. It's good practice to socialize with individuals who reflect our aspirations.
People who want to whine and complain about how unfair life is, and how they just can't seem to 'get a break' are bad company. Especially when these people want to project their misery and negativity onto you.
One of the best things you can do for your own success and happiness is give these losers the boot and find some happier, more productive people to associate with.
Tim Whiston is a full-time entrepreneur and internet marketer. He publishes a monthly ezine, and is the author of a popular e-book entitled From Zero to Profit.
Become The Star, Director, And Writer Of Your Future.
One of the secrets of success is to not work so hard with your physical body; instead, use your mind to work out the details of how to be the person you want to be. Are you motivated to spend 10 minutes a day envisioning the future you want to create for yourself?
By deliberately mentally rehearsing the experience of success in your mind, you can turn aspirations into realities. See yourself free from the old negative habits that have wasted your time, energy, and money. Forget willpower for now and imagine yourself with positive behaviors. See yourself handling any challenging situation that normally triggers your old habits and see yourself using new strategies and doing it with
ease.
Success experts say your imagination is your own personal workshop of the mind. This is particularly true when you want to program yourself towards new habits of success.
Visualize Yourself as the Person You Want to Be with Mental Rehearsal.
Mental rehearsal is the most powerful way to tap into your creative process and overcome old behavior patterns. Mental rehearsal can be used in all areas of your life, from seeing yourself as a non smoker, seeing yourself as the weight and size you want to be, and even seeing yourself as calm during challenging times.
Mental rehearsal is a tool that can help you reduce the effects of stressful situations. Now you will be more resourceful, reducing the possibility of reverting to your old habits. All areas in your life can benefit from imagery. It doesn?t matter what level your goals are on: physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual.
Use visualization to improve your abilities. Because the body follows the mind, if you start seeing yourself in a different light, then your body will follow suit ? maybe by not craving the things that hurt you, or by motivating you to exercise more. It?s up to you to experiment. Who knows what miracles you can create in your life by using this
powerful tool?
Counselors and therapists who recommend using mental rehearsal say it is the true key to tap your potential. Their research reveals that all of our skills are learned through the image-making process, whether it?s driving a car, reading a book, or changing a habit.
You use your mind to picture the activity before you actually perform it. Think of it like this: Your mind works like a movie projector, screening an endless reel of memories and scenes of situations both real and imagined. You have the power to direct your movie projector (your mind) to reach your desired goals. Once you imagine something new for yourself, you begin to be flooded with ideas about how to realize that image. All of this will come about when you have allowed yourself to break through your own worst limitation, what you believe are your capabilities.
Seth Francis is the owner of http://www.breakyourhabits.com. Learn the true steps needed to Break any Habit in only 21 days. With the help of Personal coach Lee Milteer, Seth is able to bring you a comprehensive program to help you dig deep into your inner self and release your habits from with in, while reprogramming your mind. Copyright 2006
Increasing Prosperity With Positive Thinking
Increasing prosperity in our lives can be accomplished by having the right frame of mind. The truth is, our thoughts are very powerful. They are capable of influencing every aspect of our daily lives, from our physical health to our social behaviors. I'm sure you've heard the adage, "As you think, so shall you be."
If we want to improve our lives, we must first improve our thoughts. Harnessing the power of thought in a positive way has the ability to create great change in our lives, including our financial well-being and prosperity. But how? How do we take something as intangible as thoughts, and manifest them into a physical reality?
We must first understand that being prosperous is more than having a lot of money. Prosperity is a mindset, a way of interacting in our lives, and a way of thinking. Mastering this train of thought is not easy, but it is simple enough if we keep working on it consistently.
Following are some ideas to help you improve your thoughts, and ultimately attract more prosperity into your life:
Be grateful for the blessings in your life right now. Take a few minutes each day to express heartfelt gratitude for the good things in your life. Even more powerful, write a few of these blessings down each day. This helps to put your focus in the right direction -- on abundance, not lack.
Use positive affirmations to begin training yourself to think positively. Use "I am" statements such as "I am worthy of all that is good." Write the statements down and repeat them nightly before bed. Over time, this will implant these thoughts into your subconscious mind, and you will begin to naturally believe them.
Creative visualization can help you achieve prosperity by determining what it is you wish to achieve, and then thoroughly creating that image in your mind. This works in the same way affirmations do. Our subconscious will fill with images of prosperity, and eventually these subconscious "truths" will manifest in the physical. "See" yourself as being prosperous, and you will become so.
Encourage yourself with the belief that you can achieve great things. This could also be one of your affirmations, but expand on it. If you know you can earn a certain salary, tell yourself you can earn more. Allow yourself to believe all things are possible, and you will gain the confidence needed to reach higher than you ever imagined you could. If you believe you can do it, you are more likely to take the risks associated with people who are highly successful. Prosperity and success go hand in hand, so take risks and aim higher.
Start a savings account. As strange as it sounds, think about this: Like Attracts Like. Even if you can only afford to put a few dollars into your account every month, it will begin to build up and attract more money.
Finally, believe you are already wealthy. The creative ability of our thoughts is such that we lend more power and energy to whatever we consistently focus on. Focusing on lack will create more lack. Focusing on wealth and prosperity will create . . . guess what?
Remember that this is a process. You likely won't change your circumstances in one day. But over time, with consistent focus, your thoughts will begin to attract what you want. Once you master this power of thought, there are truly no limits to what you can create!
Wendy Betterini is a freelance writer who strives to motivate, uplift, and inspire you to make your dreams a reality. Visit her website, http://www.WingsForTheHeart.com for more positive thoughts to help you on your journey.
Reboot Your Commute
Commuting is one of those things that, if you are doing it, is something that you have to do rather than want to do. And if you have a negative attitude about your commute, it can quickly turn into something that starts to impact more than just the time you spend commuting.
Your attitude about the commute can carry into work, home, and play. When you arrive at work already in an agitated state, you?ll need a cooling off period or your productivity will be lowered. Time is wasted preparing for the commute itself, either by having to hype yourself up or by dragging yourself down. It can also take its toll of your health, whether it is from increased stress or weight gain. Needless to say, commuting takes away from time that you would rather spend on other activities.
Wouldn?t it be nice if you actually looked forward to your commute? It may seem overwhelming to try to picture the commute in a different way, but there are resources out there to help commuters change their perspective and even turn the commute into something positive and productive.
Following a simple program and making small changes is a great way to start turning your commute into a better experience. Programs are good because they provide structure and activities to see you through the needed steps and help you to understand
why the commute affects you adversely and how to change it.
One of the first things to do is think about what it is that drains you about the commute? Is it the time, the crowds, being away from home, fears and risks associated with traveling, or simply the boredom? In order to revert back to a time before the stress of the commute got hold of you, you first need to articulate what about the commute is draining. Then you need to do something about it.
Think of the commute as a tool that allows you to live your life in a better way. For example, instead of saying:
?I hate driving all the way to work. I wish I could retire. What?s the use of having a nice house when I don?t have any time to spend in it??
You could say: ?I commute to work so that I may live where I choose. In this way, I get the best of both worlds, a good paycheck and a good home. I even get to use my commute time in a way that increases my health and wellbeing.?
Figure out what drains you, then you can act on that and move forward to help make your commute a positive force in your life.
Dr. Mastria is founder of Commuter-Assist and has created a five step program titled, FIVE STEPS TO A BETTER COMMUTE available free on the Commuter-Assist website (http://www.Commuter-Assist.com). Dr. Mastria's website is designed to help commuters get the most out of their commute and life in general. To contact email info@Commuter-Assist.com.
Turn Your Hate into Happiness
I hate Mondays! I hate Birthdays! I hate Holidays! We hear these statements all the time from others and ourselves. Justification for our hatred of certain days isn?t hard to come by. Mondays represent the start of a workweek at a job we may despise. Birthdays represent the progression of years we all wish would move at a slower pace. Holidays tend to accentuate preexisting family feuds, loss of loved ones and economic low points. Some people take it a step further and center their anger on people or things.
I hate my cousin, nephew, mother-in-law, father-in-law, ex-boyfriend or next-door neighbor. I hate that dog who roams the neighborhood unsupervised, those kids that play loudly in front of my house or the Meter Reader who walks across my well-kept lawn. You may have some very legitimate reasons for centering anger and even hatred on these people and things, however, there is a price to be paid for constantly focusing on them and you may be surprised at what it is.
Almost everyone I know lives each day based on one or more sets of good or bad events. Those events dictate their every mood and help decide how they will live a particular day. This gives a huge amount of power to things, situations and people that they allow to influence their lives. That power is given away, not earned. In a culture obsessed with Psychology and Psychiatry, we are taught to believe that people, situations and things have power over us cause certain types of behavior. Instead of ignoring those influences, we?re encouraged to explore and understand them. While resolution is possible, it always seems to evade those who follow this path.
I know people who live on therapy and pills. I am not talking about individuals with legitimate mental disorders that may be successfully treated through medication; I am speaking about people who are told they need treatment because something in their lives is upsetting them. If that situation cannot be resolved, it should never be permitted to rule their lives. Some people spend all their time trying to resolve situations that should never have been allowed to overtake them. Sometimes we have to ignore, learn to accept or walk away from situations that we cannot control.
Everyone is different. Some people drive their vehicles all day blissfully unaware of what?s happening on the road around them. Others get upset and beside themselves if someone cuts them off or causes them to miss a light. Regardless of what sets you off in a positive or negative direction, it?s really all about allowing people, situations and things to have power over us. Most people have already surrendered their lives to circumstances. They wake up and allow everything around them to decide what kind of day they?ll have.
I always get a kick out of people I know who get angry with me for not being upset with whatever bad piece of news the media happens to be spewing out at any given time. ?Didn?t you hear what happened today?? Sure I did. It?s bad news. It has to be because most people in the news media know that good news just doesn?t sell. We are incessantly reminded by news reporters, political pundits and talk show hosts how important it is that we listen to them. Instead of making a well informed decision at the ballot box by voting for people we know will represent our particular viewpoint, we?ll told that we must constantly revisit every election by staying on top of government officials and all that they do.
The problem with being directly involved with every political, social or other issue on any given day is that it deflects us from what?s important in our own lives. I have seen more then a few people leave their families, jobs and anything that resembled a normal life to take on a cause they felt worth that cost. However, most of them were not in a normal state of mind when they made that decision. Instead of giving the matter careful thought, they responded to the call to a call for arms levied by other true believers.
There are people who leave radio or cable news channels on all day, then wonder why they are feeling so bad. I listen to the news; however, I do not allow it to decide what kind of day I am going to have. This doesn?t mean that I do not sympathize with people who have been hit by disaster, crime or some terrible calamity. I do. In fact, I have links on several of my websites for people to donate money, time or talent to help those afflicted by all sorts of disasters, economic situations and national tragedies. I care about and support various causes and charities like most other people. I just refuse to allow those things to overtake me on a personal level.
It scares me to think how much I used to allow everything happening around me to rule my life. It?s as if I was in some sort of a coma. I refused to happy unless something happened that gave me a reason to feel good. I lived based on the day?s events and everything going on around me. Needless to say, I was not happy a good deal of the time. I listened to experts on television and the radio and thought that maybe I was the kind of person who might have a tendency towards Depression. I was just about to seek help for being depressed, when I saw the light.
While watching television one morning, it dawned on me how influential the world around me had become on my life. I was watching the news early in the morning when one of my younger children came in the room. I switched the channel to some cartoons. I couldn?t help but watch what was on and started laughing. I went out that morning feeling really good. Why? Because my television had told me to. It provided some funny and uplifting entertainment that made me feel good.
Giving it some thought, I became upset at how much I was allowing all sorts of things happening around me to influence my life. I had joined the crowd that played the Blame Game. If someone in my family got me upset, I blamed them for ruining my entire day. If a friend or business associate called with bad news, it was their fault that I couldn?t function to my full potential that day. Not only did I blame others for my feelings, I blamed myself!
If I wasn?t feeling good most of the time, there must have been something mentally wrong with me. I automatically assumed that I needed therapy, pills or couch sessions to solve this imaginary problem. Fortunately, I tried something else before taking any of those steps. I decided to feel the way I wanted to feel each day regardless of my circumstances. After making that decision, it almost seemed ridiculous how much power I had allowed people and things to have over me. Not only did that decision change my personal life, it changed the way I did business.
I stopped allowing Nay Sayers to influence every business decision I made. Since the day I was born, people had told me about all the things I couldn?t do. They had decided that I fitted into a certain mold and needed to exist within that narrow expression of economic happiness. Not all of my business decisions have been good ones and thinking outside of the box hasn?t always benefited me. However, moving beyond people?s expectations and making decisions based on what I know about myself instead of everything happening around me have always been good steps in the right direction.
If you want to survive the daily grind and move beyond the influences of everything around you, it?s time to stop living based one what life tosses your way. It will not be easy. Misery loves company and everyone around you will miss the influence they have on the way you feel. You will not always be happy, but you will have the ability to be happy, sad or otherwise based on deliberate choice. You can either handle your emotions, or allow them to handle you.
Author: Bill Knell Author's Email: billknell@cox.net Author's Website: http://www.billknell.com Terms To Use Article: Permission is granted to use this article for free online or in print. Please add a link to or print my website address of http://www.billknell.com
No comments:
Post a Comment