Thursday, September 25, 2008

Maria Duval - 6 Ways To Overcome Shyness And Gain Confidence

6 Ways To Overcome Shyness And Gain Confidence

Are you shy? Do you have difficulty coping with people or situations? Then I have good news for you. You do not have to suffer from shyness and you should not feel insecure and fear that you are being judged with every step you take.

Winning the war with shyness takes practice, but is definitely well worth the effort as the result is increasing confidence and self esteem. Wake up feeling good about yourself, able to face the world with confidence and security and the knowing that no feeling of shyness can come in your way of achieving your desires.

There are hundreds of books written on the subject of how beat shyness and gain confidence, but there are a few techniques that anyone can practice. Here are 6 suggestions of techniques on how to overcome your shyness:

1. Every morning, as soon as you get up, get in front of a mirror and say out loud "I feel terrific! I feel terrific! I feel terrific!" Repeat this affirmation with enthusiasm at least ten times everyday until it is ingrained into your subconscious mind. If you feel a little self conscious to begin with lock yourself in the bathroom. The results will amaze you.

2. Feel good about yourself. Look your best. Dress up more often. This gives you an extra feeling of confidence and self esteem. On its own just knowing that you look good will boost your confidence and reinforce with others that there are things about you that are worth getting to know.

3. Take a risk at least once a day. It is very invigorating and conquering fears by taking risks helps you grow in confidence and self esteem. Start with small risks and fears and as you overcome them move onto bigger things. There's nothing you cannot do. Being confident in knowing that change can only help you grow, and boost your self confidence.

4. When you are engaged in a one to one conversation, or with a larger group of people, let them know that you are shy. This prevents them from misreading you and they are far more likely to invite you into the conversation rather than leave you just listening and wishing you could contribute. Many people, me included, find following a conversation in a noisy room difficult. If you are having difficulty say so and move so that you can hear. People respect honesty, and vulnerability and you will attract more honest people into your life as a result.

5. Rejection is a fact of life that everyone experiences. It is rarely you that is being rejected. If you are rejected, for example if you ask someone for a date, remember that everyone has different likes and dislikes. You may be attracted to one type of person and not others. The same applies to other people and you are probably just not their type. That does not devalue you in any way. Accept this and know that you will get over it. Never take it personally and keep in mind that if people reject you it is because of their own likes and dislikes and not because of who you are. You are equally entitled to reject others because of your likes and dislikes.

6. Engage in an activities that make you feel excited and good about yourself or start a hobby that gives you a feeling of relaxation. This could be anything from gardening to Tai Chi to Karate. Take some lessons, learn or master a musical instrument or take singing lessons. Do something that excites you and take a risk. Exploring things that make you feel excited is a great antidote for shyness.


John has 4 grown up and successful children and recently completed a writing degree. He now writes on a number of topics including building self confidence and self esteem. Go to Build Self Confidence Today for the next article on self help and confidence.

17. The Law of Attraction
Most of us live an unconscious life. The majority of people still thinks that life and the things that take place in it, just befalls them. When we just react unconsciously to what happens in our lives we tend to stay stuck in our current condition and this is exactly the reason why our lives never seem to change very much. We get stuck in an endless cycle of recreating the same reality over and over again. We are completely unaware of the existence of the Law of Attraction. The Law of Attraction explains that whatever we consciously or unconsciously focus on or give our energy to will be attracted into our lives. With everything we think or feel we constantly give off vibrations of energy. When we feel enthusiastic, happy, joyful, full of passion, excited or peaceful, we are giving off positive vibrations of energy. On the other hand, if we feel sad, depressed, angry, frustrated, impatient or lonely, we are giving off negative vibrations of energy. The Law of Attraction says that we receive back from the Universe three times the amount of the same energy that we send out to it. The Universe does not care whether we sent out good or bad energy; it simply responds to our vibration. However, most of the time we are not even consciously aware of what energy we are sending out. We are simply responding to the things that happen outside of us. We have a reaction to the news, to what happens at work, to the way we are being treated, to what figure is in our bank account, to how our children are functioning at home and in school, etc, etc. And this determines whether our feelings are positive or negative. In other words we are all victims of our own lack of awareness of the Law of Attraction, otherwise we would do things differently. Hey, but here is the good news! It is possible to get out of this endless cycle of recreating our negative reality again and again. It’s just a matter of choosing to use our will to get out of this cycle. If you use the self motivation tips here under you will most certainly develop the necessary self motivation skills. Remember, through self motivation exercise you WILL create skills. 1. Find out what it is that you want Discipline yourself to NOT focus on what you don’t want and learn to focus on what you DO want. Also try to avoid negative words like: no, don’t and not, because our mind works in images, so if you say something like: “I don’t want to be depressed”, you are creating the image of being depressed and therefore sending out the energy of depression, which will then result into receiving more depression. Make sure you always create the opposite of what you don’t want. 2. Feel as if you have already received what you focus on. Imagine how you would feel if you already had what it is that you want and do this on a regular basis for a couple of days. Then teach yourself to NOT tolerate any of your negative feelings about this anymore. The fact is that the Universe will respond to how you FEEL about what you say and think. 3. Let go and allow the Universe to do the work After you have done this work for some time allow the Universe to take care of the rest. However you have to make sure that you refrain from creating doubts. By doubting you send out mixed messages to the Universe for you will only be able to manifest your dreams and passions if you are willing to remove all of your resistance issues about this. Only then will you be able to manifest the things you want to attract in your life. I hope these self motivation tips may contribute to an abundant life. Don’t you feel that we should constantly be looking at ways to improve ourselves? Well then, pick up this self motivation exercise and notice how after some time of practice they will change into real self motivation skills.

Ab van Deemter (http://www.passiontogrow.com) is a Personal Growth specialist and a spiritual person, who believes in sharing his knowledge of personal perseverance. He has studied metaphysics and other holistic methods for many, many years and embarked on a life of success. With successful tools for personal freedom he has made it past a life full of obstacles and now mentors and teaches business owners, their staff, his own employees, as well as a large group of private individuals.

Setting Goals �" Things to Think About
We hear a lot about the steps we should take to achieve our goals, however unless we take the first steps to realistically consider who and what we are right now �" our capabilities and interests �" and think logically about what we’d like to accomplish, our chances of achieving our “goal” are slim to none. Here are a few things to think about when you’re trying to decide what you’d like to do. 1. Your goals need to be your goals Not your spouse’s or significant other’s, not your friends’, parents’, children’s, etc. - YOURS! 2. Your goals must be achievable It’s great to stretch for them, in fact it’s desirable, but you must be able to honestly picture yourself achieving them. 3. You must be willing to put forth some extra effort It’s not possible to achieve more by vegging out in front of the TV. It will take extra effort and sometimes extra money. “You can’t take a trip unless you’re willing to pay the price of the ticket.” 4. You gotta really want to do it How can you achieve something you really don’t want? If you can honestly picture yourself doing this “thing” you want to do and can approach the task of getting it done with a positive attitude, your chances for success are very good. *Success - taking the steps to do those things you want to do! 5. Be picky about who you tell We need positives and support to accomplish our goals. Share your thoughts and plans only with those who will back your efforts. 6. Achieving your goal must benefit everyone concerned Think about the end result of achieving your goal. How will others be affected? Will the overall result be positive and in everyone’s best interests? (Note: Not everyone has to like the result!) 7. Will accomplishing your goal be fun/enjoyable? There can be some hard work between “here” and “there”. If we get satisfaction from our progress and we know we’ll feel good when we reach our goal, we’ll have a much better chance of getting it done. (Why would we ever do anything to intentionally make our lives miserable?) One last thing. OK, maybe a couple of last things. The two references to imaging �" as in being able to “picture” yourself achieving your goal �" are extremely important. The picture you create is far more powerful than any words you could ever use to describe a goal. It should be an integral part of the initial thinking and planning process. Also �" spend a little time thinking about the PEMS sisters. You know what I’m talking about, right? The Physical, Emotional, Mental and Spiritual components of our life that are a part of everything we do? Include them as partners in the planning of your new life video. You may just find that one of them will turn out to be the deciding factor in whether or not you should move into the full production process. To succeed �" just do what you love to do.

Gene Simmons, through NuPathz.com, provides an easy reading self-help blog, articles, quotations, thoughts and links along with affordable personal growth and self improvement books & materials - all designed to help folks find the road to a more enjoyable lifestyle, to pass on some of life’s “secrets for survival” in a chaotic world & offer a few smiles along the way. It's a down-to-earth, simple approach to discovering a better life. You can visit Gene at http://www.nupathz.com/

Bring Your Gorgeous Self out from Within...
To this day, there are lots of talks on TV, radio, etc. about how to improve yourself, build your self esteem or tap into the power within you. Some motivational trainers are capitalizing on that, making a killing with their self help tapes and lectures charging thousand of dollars for anything from losing weight to becoming more assertive or becoming financially independent. The truth is, only you can change yourself. Only you can make it happen. I have seen a real live example of this as a teenager in high school and I am a firm believer that anyone can transform themself if they really want to. Now we have to go back in the days of the weekly series of Charlie's angels, six million dollar man and get smart etc. Of course all the boys wanted to be like Steve Austin (Lee Majors) and all the girls wanted to look like Jamie Summers (Lindsay Wagner) or Loni Anderson. At one point, during the school season, appears that gorgeous girl apparently from nowhere...needless to say that all the girls were instantly jealous of her because you see, she brought more competition in the school and all the guys wanted to know more about her. A bit later in the year, she started dating that guy, who happened to be not only the hottest hunk in school but had good grades and also was a team leader. Mind you, the guy wasn't really one of my friends due to the fact that he was about 2 years older and was two years ahead of me academically. I have to admit that our team leader, hunk and also the boyfriend of the most gorgeous girl in school was also a nice guy, contrary to the belief that we have from movies that most of the jocks are jerks. He would occasionally greet us with a nod in the school hallway. Now the question was, who is that girl? Where does she come from? I remember thinking with my friend John at the time. John didn't know then but it wouldn't take him too long to find out. After a bit of digging around, John came back one day and told me! Remember Kathy, she was here last year and the year before but she was just an average looking girl and no one paid much attention to her. Kathy had come to the realization that she was just average and decided that it was about time that she did something about it. Time to leave average behind and let her natural beauty come out from within. No one can tell for sure what Kathy did to her hair, clothes, body, etc, but anyone knew right away when she walked into a room. All of a sudden, she had grace, beauty, self assurance and charisma. She was by now sporting the superb looks of a model with makeup that would emphasize her strong points and clothes that would make anyone turn around to look at her a second time. In short she was the envy of everyone in school. Now when I hear about improving yourself, I immediatly think about how Kathy went from an average looking girl to the girl that demanded attention from everybody around her whenever she strutted about with a new found self from within.

Fritz Blanc is a part time internet marketer who has created many web sites about various subjects. You can visit one of his web sites on memory and concentration at: http://www.the-koran.com/concentration/concentration

The Powers Of A Positive Attitude.
I am going to ask you something very unusual right now. First of all, I want you to listen to your thoughts. Now tell me, what thoughts fill your head? Would you label them as positive, or negative?

Now let's say you are walking down the street with these thoughts. Do you think anyone would be able to tell you what’s on your mind?

The answer to number one is up to you. But, the answer number two can be pretty generic. Although people will not be able to tell you exactly what you think, they will more or less have an idea of how you are feeling.

Here's another question. When you enter a party filled with friends, do they all fall silent as if something terrible had happened? Or does everybody there perk up as if they're waiting for something exciting to happen?

You know what? The answer to all these depends on your state of mind.

Thoughts are very powerful. They affect your general attitude. The attitude you carry reflects on your appearance, too �" unless, of course, you are a great actor.

And it doesn't end there. Your attitude can also affect people the around you.

The type of attitude you carry depends on you. It can be either positive or negative.

Positive thoughts have a filling effect. They are admittedly exhilarating. Plus, the people around the person carrying positive thoughts are usually energized by this type of attitude.

Negative thoughts on the other hand have a zapping effect on other people. Aside from making you look gloomy and sad, negative thoughts can turn a festive gathering into a funeral wake.

A positive attitude attracts people, while a negative attitude repels them. People tend to shy away from those who carry a negative attitude.

We can also define attitude as the way of looking at the world. If you choose to focus on the negative things in the life, more or less you are fostering a negative attitude. However, if you choose to focus on the positive things, you are more likely carry a positive attitude.

You have much to gain from a very positive attitude. For one, studies have shown that a positive attitude promotes better health. Those with this kind of attitude also have more friends. projecting a positive attitude also helps one to handle stress and problems better than those who have a negative attitude.

A positive attitude begins with a healthy self-image. If you will love the way you are and are satisfied, confident, and self-assured, you also make others around you feel the same way.

On the other hand, a negative attitude, has the opposite effect. So, carrying a negative attitude has a twofold drawback. You feel bad about yourself, and you make others feel the same way.

If you want to have a positive attitude, you have to maintain healthy thoughts. This is actually very hard to do nowadays since all around us the media feeds us nothing but negative thoughts. A study shows that for every 14 things a parent says to his or her child, only one is positive. This is truly a depressing thought.

If you want a healthier outlook in life, you need to think happy thoughts. You also have to hear positive things as well. So, what can you do? Well, for starters, you could see a funny movie, you could play with children, or spend some time telling jokes with friends. All these activities fill you with positive stimuli, which in turn promotes positive attitude.

Although it is impossible to keep ourselves from the negative things around us, you can still carry a positive attitude by focusing on the good things, the positive things in life.

And this positive attitude you now carry can be of benefit to other people. Sometimes when other people feel down, the thing most people do is try to give them advice. But sometimes, all they need is somebody to sit with them, and listen to their thoughts and feelings. If you have a positive attitude you may be able to cheer them up without even having to say anything.

If positive attitude is really great, why do people choose to adopt a negative attitude instead? One who carries a negative attitude may be actually sending a signal for attention. So you don't misunderstand what I'm saying, feeling sad, angry, or gloomy is not wrong itself. But dwelling on these thoughts for far too long is not healthy either. There is a time to mourn, but don't continually dwell on the subject or situation; change it!

If you are inundated with troubles, even in your darkest hour, focus on the good things in life, it will always give you hope. Problems are something you can overcome.

You don't have anything to lose by adopting a healthy, positive attitude. Studies show that such an attitude actually defers aging, makes you healthier, helps you develop a better stress coping mechanism, and has a very positive effect on all the people you meet every day. So, what's not to like about a positive attitude? Adopt one today.

Make it a GREAT day!


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