Maria Duval - Steps To Building Your Self-Confidence

Steps To Building Your Self-Confidence
Accept yourself

The very first step in building self-confidence is to accept yourself in an unconditional way. You are human, therefore you are not perfect, so don?t dwell on what you see as flaws. Everyone has qualities that someone else does not. This is what makes us want to go out and find partners who give us love, and make us feel wanted and complete. Those great feelings would not be possible if you were perfect. Accept yourself how you are. It will help to rid you of constant stress and worry over things that you cannot control.

Do what you want!

How long it has been since you last did something that you really liked, something that you enjoyed doing as a child? How long has it been since you went out for ice cream with a friend? These simple things have the power to build your self-confidence and add fulfillment to your life. Life can be very quite simple. It is easy to get caught u in the rat race of today?s world, and lose yourself in the process. It is easy to forget your purpose, what you like and what you enjoy doing. It happens to people all of the time. It is your responsibility to yourself that you get back to those simple things in life.

Find a group of friends

You?ve heard the saying, ?birds of a feather flock together?. It is important to find people with whom you enjoy spending time and doing things. You will find that life is a little bit easier when you are among the people who share your interests and your feelings. There is an understanding between you, as well as an open dialogue. Good conversation and friendship are healthy and important for our minds and souls.

Set goals and just do it!

Take one step at a time. Those single steps will develop into a giant gait over time. Do not overwhelm yourself, but simply do the task at hand. But set achievable goals and go for them! Don?t focus on the big picture, concentrate on the small steps. This is the only way to accomplish anything, and to avoid procrastination and depression. Even the smallest achievement will give you a sense of accomplishment that will boost your self-confidence.

Discover more about self confidence by visiting http://www.selfconfidencesecrets.info

A Nickel in the Road
A Nickel in the Road by Donna Doyon


Exercising is not one of my favorite pastimes but I know it's good for me. So every day I try to get outside and take a 2-mile walk. Most days I carry a small notebook and pen with me so that I can jot down the random brilliant thoughts that come to me as I stroll around the neighborhood.

A few weeks ago I was rounding a corner about half way through my walk and noticed a nickel in the road. I adjusted my gait so that I stepped on the shiny coin and kept walking.

Within a few steps I started thinking of my daughter who always stops to pick up loose change. She wouldn't have passed this one by. I was half tempted to turn around and go back for it, but I thought it would be embarrassing if someone happened to see me stooping down to pick up a nickel.

It didn't take long for me to transition my thoughts from that nickel to those small opportunities that have been in front of me that I've stepped on or passed by. How many have I overlooked because I thought they were insignificant? How many have I been too embarrassed to attempt? How many have I stepped on because I wanted to show the world they were unworthy of my attention?

Later that day I told my daughter about the nickel incident because it was continued to weigh on my mind. She didn't say, "Don't worry about it. It was only a nickel." She did say, "I would have picked it up. Did you know that one day at school I found over a dollar in change on the floor?"

She had taken advantage of seemingly small opportunities. But when added up, they became something worthwhile. In my daughter's case, she was able to buy a can of soda from the vending machine at school--something she wouldn't have been able to do otherwise.

The next morning I paid attention as I walked that same stretch of road. I was determined to pick up that nickel if I saw it again. But alas, it was gone. Not surprising I guess. Someone else is usually willing to take advantage of the opportunities that others choose to pass by. Unfortunately by the time I decided to take advantage of it, the opportunity was no longer there.

Of course not every opportunity is one that I want to stop and pick up. Some merely resemble something that would help me achieve my goals in life, the way that bottle caps, from a distance, look a lot like coins. But some we recognize immediately as worthwhile yet we still choose to walk by them.

Since the day I walked past that nickel in the road, I've been more attuned to opportunities that surround me. I've been paying attention to my response to them. Instead of quickly discounting the ones that appear to be small payoffs, I'm looking at the bigger picture. What can a small opportunity add to what I already have going on? How can a small opportunity serve as the beginning of something bigger?

What a great life lesson! And it only cost me a nickel.

Copyright 2005. Donna Doyon, Activities Coordinator for Your Virtual Retreat is the author of GLOW: Renew Your Spirit & Release Your Inner Beauty. She offers information, inspiration and encouragement to people who want to say goodbye to self defeating attitudes and behaviors and hello to greater success, healthier relationships and more joyful living. Get inspired at her website: http://www.donnadoyon.com.

Are The Stars Out Tonight? Reconnecting With The Power Of Mystery
On a crisp June night I?m lying in my sleeping bag at 10,000 feet in the Sierra?s Desolation Wilderness. Here, far from the light and haze of the Bay Area, the sky is deep black, but thick with twinkling dots and dim wisps of cottony light. When I look from the corner of my eye, the dim lights become more defined, easier to perceive as stars. To count them all would take years, if it was even possible. The number seems incomprehensible. And the mystery of what could exist out there, somewhere, at once inspires and humbles me.

Enthralled by the night sky, I struggle to keep my eyes open, knowing with a disquieting certainty that upon my return to the ?real? world my focus will be drawn steadily and relentlessly away from the mysteries of the night sky.

The real world of responsibilities, work, relationships and bills provides a powerful distraction from the mystery of the night sky and the mystery of our lives. This point was driven home, recently, when I heard the following two intriguing but contradictory statements in the same day.

First, in a recording, Carolyn Myss observed that this is the first time in which entire generations will grow up without seeing the stars! Imagine growing up in a big, bright city, without the resources to leave, surrounded by light, smog and tall buildings that blot out all but the most determined of the celestial objects.

The second statement I heard came later that day, in an NPR story about the Hubble Space Telescope. A lead scientist for the telescope explained how, since the dawn of humanity we have been seeking to understand the origin of the Universe. This, he said, is the first time that we do understand it. We can see the spectral remnants from the Big Bang and actually listen to the sounds of the Universe moments after its formation.

What a strange world we have dreamed into existence. Our technology and science enables us to unravel the secrets of the stars while simultaneously creating communities that will never see them. As our understanding of our world and the Universe has expanded, we have, as a culture, become disconnected from the inherently mysterious nature of our existence. And as individuals we run the risk of losing touch with the powerful force of mystery in our lives.

When was the last time you laid out at night gazing into the sky? When was the last time you attempted to count the stars, or trace the outline of Ursa Major? When was the last time you wondered who or what might be out there in the vast reaches of space, or what your place is within this Universe?

Mystery is a source of power for humans. We draw creativity, passion, healing and inspiration from the Unknown. Artists, scientists, inventors and philosophers all speak of the mysterious nature of discovery, creation and problem solving. Shamans and Healers of all cultures understand that the unknown holds the power to heal and transform the Soul, Mind and Body. When we lose touch with that mystery, we lose touch with a source of personal and communal power.

Passion, too, comes from Mystery. Consider your intimate relationships, past or present. It is not the daily encounters or the practical matters that keep a relationship growing. Nor is it the moments of tenderness and intimacy. These are all integral parts of a relationship, forming the foundation and structure. But it is in the moments of Mystery and Discovery that the flame of passion is refueled: It is when your lover surprises you with a perfect gift. Or when you catch an unexpected glimpse of your partner kneeling over a flower to inhale its aroma. The door to Mystery opens also when your partner displays her anger for the first time, or when he trusts you with the sharing of a grief long held hidden.

These moments when you encounter something new and surprising about your lover take the relationship deeper into the mystery and are the moments of growth and renewal for each of you as individuals. It may be love that sustains a relationship, but it is the glimpses into the mystery that refuels love. Relationships begin to stagnate and die, not when love fades, but rather, when the doorway into the Mystery remains closed for too long.

This is equally true in your personal life. When you close the door that leads to your personal mysteries, you deprive yourself of a source of power and passion. One way to reopen that door, or open it wider, is to embrace the mysteries around you. How does a tiny acorn transform itself into a majestic oak tree? How do the birds know when it is time to migrate? How does this computer do what it does? What waits for us in the vast reaches of space?

Do not believe that the scientists know everything. If Christopher Columbus had accepted the prevailing wisdom of his day, he never would have set sail. If Einstein had believed the existing theories of matter, space and time, he would not have formulated the theory of relativity.

Bask in the mysteries. Challenge existing assumptions. Discover your own answers. Become curious and childlike when something intrigues you. Begin to open the door to the external mysteries and the door to your personal mysteries will soon follow. When it does, you will have access to a vast source of inspiration, creativity, and power.

Edward Mills, MIM, is a life coach, teacher and speaker, empowering people to more joyfully and abundantly share their essential gifts with the world. You can sign up for his monthly ezine, Evolving Times, at his website: http://www.edwardmills.com or blog: http://www.evolvingtimes.com