Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Maria Duval - What are affirmations?

What are affirmations?
Close your eyes for a full minute and observe your thoughts. Try it. According to a study, an average human have 55,000 thoughts per day or 38 thoughts per minute. So, what were your 38 thoughts about? Were the thoughts running so fast you couldn’t decipher its meaning? If you try observing your thoughts in silence with your eyes closed for a longer period of time, you will come to experience how our thoughts are a reflection of our inner beliefs. Every thought you think that is decoded into a word you say is an affirmation. Our reality is created by our beliefs; beliefs are thought patterns we developed since childhood. These beliefs make up our personality; the positive beliefs become our strengths while the negative ones form our weaknesses. So, self development is all about transforming our weaknesses in order to have a more fulfilling life. You would have probably read numerous self-help books and attended countless motivational seminars, yet the dysfunctional thought patterns are still a hindrance to growth. Why? Most of our learning experiences are done on a conscious level. There is still growth and change on this level but some of our erroneous thought patterns are deep-seated. These flawed thoughts ought to be released and replaced with affirmative positive thoughts. When we integrate positive experiences like a duck takes to water, it means we have made an affirmative deposit into our subconscious level. Our self-talk is a stream of affirmations and we are constantly affirming subconsciously through thoughts and speech which in turn become our life experience in every moment. The subconscious utilizes the behaviour patterns learned in the past to respond and react to all that is happening every moment in our life. If the basis for our beliefs is flawed at an early stage (e.g. “I am not good enough”), problems would crop up throughout life. The skills of being aware of our thoughts are not taught in schools as we were growing up. So, as long as we haven’t understood that faulty beliefs are the source of our problems, we would be going around in much despair. Just like how you would re-boot the central processing unit of your computer when you want to start anew, you can re-programme your thought patterns. Positive affirmations can replace invalid beliefs and create the reality you desire. Positive affirmations are short statements that help focus your awareness on your power and ability to create and have what you want. They are stated in the present tense as you repeat and say these affirmations, you will begin to create them as true for you. So in place of the erroneous belief in the example above, affirm: “I accept and love myself for who I am now”; and, “I give myself permission to be all I can be”. Use affirmations to open and expand your awareness of what you can have. Use them to align with your wisdom and to attune with the unlimited abundance of the universe. As you repeatedly say them to yourself, you will create positive, more enriching realities in your life. For a start, you may write your own affirmations on small pieces of paper and plaster them on your computer screen, car dashboard or the bathroom mirror.

Meeyuen Thang is a former journalist and since becoming a mother, her main interests are self improvement and child development, particularly in emotional literacy. You can visit her website at http://www.parentingtalks.com

Focus Beyond Success
Many people get really anxious when studying for the exams such as the PMP (Project Management Professional) or CAPM (Certified Associate in Project Management) and so their anxiety works against them. The reason that they are anxious is largely because of their fear of failure. We could say that their belief in the likelihood of their failure is stronger that their belief in their success. In order to find a way out of this mess, it helps to know a little of how the mind works. Everybody wants to be successful. Of course it could be argued that some people obviously want to fail in life �" but that means that they want to be successful in failing. And so when they eventually DO fail, they succeeded in achieving their life’s main goal. And that’s a level of success that few of us achieve. When aiming for a goal, it is very important to concentrate on the successful outcomes of your task, rather than on the goal itself. For example, if you are studying for the PMP exam, you should focus on what you intend to do once you have your certification, rather than just on having letters after your name. You should concentrate on the benefits after the goal is achieved, because your energy ends where you have your focus (I’ll come back to this later). For example, suppose you are playing soccer and you have to take a penalty kick. If you concentrate really hard on taking the kick, you will become anxious and may kick the ball badly. The trick is to imagine that you have just scored the winning goal. Imagine the crowd cheering -- actually hear them in your mind -- and hear them calling your name. Imagine how good the success feels, and how proud of yourself you feel. Imagine the other soccer players running up to you and hugging you and congratulating you. If you do this, then you will relax and actually score the goal. Because if you can truly make your mind believe that you can truly make something happen, then your mind will do all that it can to make it happen (this is explained by “expectancy theory”). So if you say to someone “study hard, and try hard to pass the exam,” that is a waste of time because they are already doing that, and concentrating more on the problems will make them anxious and doubt their abilities. It is much better to get them to focus beyond the end result. Tell them to think about how good they will feel when they pass the PMP exam. And how good it will feel, pinning on the little gold badge. Tell them to imagine how wonderful and proud they will feel the first day they step back into their place of work as a PMP, to give the good news to their boss. Tell them to imagine that they’re being interviewed in the future by a reporter from a big magazine, because the magazine wants to print a feature article on their successes. Tell them to imagine how good it feels to be so successful in life. Once they believe that, it will start to happen. Your energy ends where you have your focus Now, coming back to this statement. It sounds “New age”, but it’s not. A long time ago I practiced karate for a while. This is a very relaxing sport, which seems to be largely concerned with smashing things. I was trying to break wooden planks, but with no success. My understanding of the “formula” was: Strength + technique + tough hands = (whatever you like/don’t like) smashed to bits. I had the strength and the tough hands; in fact I could hit the plank repeatedly without hurting myself too much, and the technique appeared to be right too. But then, as a result of some research, I started really believing that I could break the plank. So now my formula became: Strength + belief + technique + tough hands = (whatever you like/don’t like) smashed to bits. So I focused and my mental and physical energy on a single point on the plank (and pictured it breaking) then hit it really hard. But I still couldn’t break it. Then some time later I met a really sweet girl, who had an incredible knack for smashing things, let me into her secret. She said, “Your problem is that you are focusing on the plank, but that’s were your energy ENDS, because your energy ends where you have your focus. If you want to break the plank, you have to focus on a spot 6 inches BEHIND the plank.” So once my focus (or goal) was to reach a spot behind the plank, my energy ended 6 inches behind the plank, rather than on it’s surface. I would like to say that I was able to smash the plank on my very next attempt. That was not the case, because I was still training my mind to accept the new focus. But only a few days later I was able to smash it. And I would like to say that the girl and I developed a smashing relationship, but it was not to be, because her focus lay beyond me.

Jim Owens PMP is a career Project Manager, Presenter and PMP Instructor. Director of Certification with PMI W Australia, Columnist with www.PMHub.net and Information Age Magazine. Visit Jim at http://www.PromotePM.org The Home of Project Management. Jim's Domains & Web Hosting: http://www.WebsWoven.com

Are Your Thoughts Right for You?
Do you spend a lot of time choosing what is and isn’t right for you? Whether it’s your clothes, job, mate, friends, kids, hobbies, diet or exercise you can expend a lot of energy trying to make the right choices life choices. Yet, how much effort do you devote to choosing what really rules your world and shapes your reality �" your thoughts?

Most people either aren’t aware of their thoughts or allow their thoughts to have free rein, which usually shows up as worrying about what you don’t want or what’s not right for you. What do you think about? Consider that your thoughts become beliefs, beliefs become actions and actions become your reality. Would it be worth your while to spend even a little bit more time choosing the thoughts that are right for you?

Here are five simple steps you can take to make sure your thoughts are right for you:

1. Don’t worry about whether your thoughts are negative or positive. A lot of energy is wasted on trying to think positive to overcome negative thoughts, which only gives power to the thoughts that aren’t right for you in the first place.
2. Don’t resist your thoughts. Another source of wasted energy is resisting undesired thoughts. What you resist persists and resisting undesired thoughts will only magnify them.
3. Realize that nothing is permanent especially your thoughts. Try observing your thoughts rather than reacting to them. This will free you from your thoughts and in turn open you up to the possibility of creating new thoughts.
4. Stop and listen to your thoughts and write them down. Writing down your thoughts will give you insight into what your current thoughts are. This allows you to detach from your thoughts and objectively consider whether or not they are right for you.
5. Ask yourself what you want to create in your life? Rather than focusing on ridding yourself of the thoughts that aren’t right for you, ask yourself, “What do I want to create in my life?” Write down a list of 5-10 things you want to create (begin each item with I have…) or write in free form about the life you want to experience (begin with I am…). By focusing on what you want to create in your life, your thoughts will become right for you and the life that is right for you will follow.

As you follow these steps, don’t be too hard on yourself or judge the process. Unrealistic expectations or harsh self-judgment will allow the thoughts that aren’t right for you to resurface. If you aren’t getting what you intended to create, simply notice what you have created and check to see if there is a connection between your thoughts leading up to that moment. Then, repeat these steps until you begin to notice a shift to what you do intend to create and your thoughts. An ongoing practice of creating will transform your thoughts and your life over time if you simply stick with it.

© 2007 Bring U to Life, Inc. For more information on how to create the life you desire, visit www.bringUtolife.com.

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